I'll Wait For You
by nasher91
Summary: What if Tommy & Jude were the same age?Can they both cope with the pressures of fame and disaster when it strikes time and time again?
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Childhood sweethearts, Tommy and Jude, are apart for the first time when at the age of 17 Tommy's band Boyz Attack hits the big time and he has to go on tour with them for the summer. When he gets back things have changed. Tommy is a different person and although they try the couple know things can never be the way they were at the beginning. Tommy calls Jude and asks her to meet him, he tells her he's moving and he thinks it's best they break up, at least for the time being. And the story begins...

"I don't understand. What have I done?"

"Nothing, you haven't done anything."

"Then why are you doing this?"

"I just have to, okay?"

"No it's not okay. What about me Tommy? What about us? You promised me you'd never leave. You swore to me that you'd stay with me forever."

"And I will, just not in person. But as long as you keep me in your heart I'll always be with you. I love you."

He pulled her to him, wiped away her tears and kissed her deeply. He didn't want to go, but he had to. Which was why this kiss was much like their first. Deep, long and passionate filled with both lust and love. He needed her to know he loved her despite the fact he was leaving. Although he wouldn't tell her so, it was because he loved her that he was leaving. As they pulled apart a stray single tear rolled down her cheek. He wiped that tear away too, each tear landing on his heart like a ton of cement.

"I love you too," she whispered, gazing at him with those eyes of hers. They always showed her every emotion and they showed her love, but they also showed her pain. "I'll always love you. But then again, you know that." She smiled sadly at him.

"Yeah I do. Just like you know that I'll always love you. No matter what." He made sure she was looking at him when he said that. He needed her to know how much he loved her. His fingers rubbed his ring and after a brief hesitation he pulled off the ring and handed it to her. She gasped and took off her chain, slid the ring onto it and offered it to him. The clasp was fiddly but she always wore that chain, he'd bought it for her and so it was worth the extra time and effort required to put it on every day. He moved her silky smooth hair to one side and kissed her neck where the clasp fell.

She turned to face him with tears in her eyes once more. "I'll wait for you." She stated, before kissing him gently on the lips and walking away. She paused at the end of the road before turning the corner. From where he stood he could still see her walking away although she could not see him anymore. He didn't know when he'd see her again…


	2. Chapter 2: Two Years Later

Two Years Later 

"Hello?" Jude tried to keep the irritation out of her voice at being woken up at, she glanced at the clock on her bedside table, 7am on her day off.

"Jude you need to swing by the studios. I have some news for you and it's better that you're told sooner rather than later." Darius' smooth voice flooded down the phone. Jude moaned but agreed to come in saying she'd be there in half an hour.

She stepped into the shower and allowed the hot water to cascade over her, immersed in her thoughts. What could it be that required dragging her in to the studios on her first day off in months?

Back in her bedroom she selected an orange tank top and black jeans. She pulled on her customised converse, dragged a brush through her flaming red hair and put on her chain. She fingered the ring that hung from the chain and allowed herself a brief nostalgic moment. She hadn't heard from Tommy since that fateful day when he'd called her and asked her to meet him. Rumour was he'd left the country. She'd long given up any hope of him coming back and had thrown herself into music. The one thing, besides her chain and his ring, that made her feel close to him.

Luckily Darius had took her in under his wing and looked after her as an artist. Now she was a fully-fledged solo artist with a number one album under her belt. She ran out of her sister's house and managed to hail a passing cab. "G Major studios please." She requested smiling sweetly at the cabbie. Jude knew that if you asked nicely, smiled sweetly and, if they recognized you, gave them an autograph that the cabbies wouldn't ask questions and would get you to your destination as fast as possible. Nobody could say Jude wasn't street savvy. She had to be really, her parents had split up the same summer Tommy had left, and neither of them had been heard from either. So Sadie, Jude's older sister, had moved back home from New York and taken control of everything. Now Jude lived with Sadie in their old house, next door to her best friend Jamie.

The cabbie pulled up outside G Major in a new record of five minutes. Jude tipped him an extra ten bucks and ran inside. "Darius I swear this had better be good. You got me out of bed at 7am on my first day off in ages, if this is some stupid joke I will not be a happy bunny." Jude fell back onto one of G Major's colourful couches in the general waiting room, although it was also where the artists and other workers hung out as well, and raised one eyebrow, awaiting Darius' reason for bringing her into work.

"I'm sorry Jude. There are two reasons I called you in today. One is we had to get rid of one of the songs, so we need a new one to finish the album on time. The second one is slightly bigger than that though. Tommy's back."

Jude stared at him in horror. "What?"

"He's back Jude. He called me today looking for a job as a producer, or even a solo recording artist. He asked after you as well." Darius regarded the young girl, expecting a full-blown tantrum or hysterics.

"How did he sound?" She finally asked, crossing her arms and biting her lip. Just when she'd given up hope he was back. Well if he wanted her to come running back to him as if he hadn't left, Tommy had better think again.

"Okay I guess. Boyz Attack broke up, hence the solo recording artist gig. He starts next week as a producer though, maybe doing some recording on the side. He's asked to work with you specifically. What shall I tell him?"

"It's up to you Darius, you do whatever you think is best. And now I better get started on that song. Is Kwest here yet?"

Darius nodded and allowed Jude to head through to Studio C. He couldn't believe how calmly she was taking this. Would she be as calm when she actually saw Tommy for the first time in two years?


	3. Chapter 3: Nobody's Perfect

**Everybody make mistakes...**

**Everybody has those days...**

**1, 2, 3, 4!**

**Everybody makes mistakes...**

**Everybody has those days...  
Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout...**

**Everybody gets that way...**

**Everybody makes mistakes...**

**Everybody has those days...  
Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout...**

**Everybody gets that way...  
**

**Sometimes I'm in a jam  
I've gotta make a plan  
It might be crazy  
I do it anyway**

Kwest tried not to laugh as his young prodigy started to dance to the beat and jump up and down, thoroughly enjoying herself. Whilst Jude was usually a basic girl who sung songs about love and the downside to it, she wasn't shy about trying new things. When she'd shown Kwest this song she'd told him that she had wanted it to sound upbeat and positive, maybe even something you could dance to. So he'd added a synthesiser to her guitar, added a drumbeat or two and upped the temp. And the result was a killer beat which had managed to paste a smile on both Jude's and Kwest's face and have them both moving to the beat. 

**  
No way to know for sure  
I'll figure out a cure  
I'm patchin' up the holes  
But then it overflows**

**  
If I'm not doin' to well  
Why be so hard on my self?  
**

Jude closed her eyes and let the music sweep over her. When she was recording nothing else mattered. Although she hadn't shown it the fact that Tommy was back, and poised to take up a job at her studios, perhaps beside her, terrified her. Jude opened her eyes again and returned Kwest's grin. Kwest would look after her, he was her producer and brother-in-law. When Sadie had upped and left New York to come pick up the pieces after the Harrison adults split, Kwest had come with her. Luckily he was a cool guy and, what with his love for music almost equalling that of Jude's, he was readily welcomed by Jude.

**  
Nobody's Perfect!  
I gotta work it!  
Again and again 'till I get it right  
Nobody's Perfect!  
Ya live and ya learn it!  
And if I mess it up sometimes...  
Nobody's perfect  
**

Jamie Andrews entered G Major studios a few hours later, when Jude and Kwest were on their sixth take of the new song. This was to be the closing track for Jude's next album so it had to be the best it could be. And besides Jude was a perfectionist. Jamie saw that Jude was recording and made himself comfortable on one of the sofas in G Major's waiting room. She had said it was important when she called, so he was prepared to wait. That's what friends are for, right?

**  
Sometimes I work a scheme  
But then it flips on me  
Doesn't turn out how I planned  
Get stuck in quicksand**

**  
No problem, can be solved  
Once I get involved  
I try to be delicate  
Then crash right into it**

**  
My intentions are good  
Sometimes just misunderstood  
**

**  
Nobody's Perfect!  
I gotta work it!  
Again and again 'till I get it right  
Nobody's Perfect!  
Ya live and ya learn it!  
And if I mess it up sometimes...  
Nobody's perfect**

Nobody's perfect!  
I gotta work it!  
I know I'm in time I'll find a way  
Nobody's perfect!  


Across town Tommy was unpacking the last few of his possessions. He was so excited to be back. Part of him was scared, when he'd asked Darius about Jude Darius hadn't exactly been thrilled about the idea of the two of them working together. Tommy placed a picture of Jude and himself in one of the new silver frames and hung it up on his bedroom wall. It was one of his favourite photos. Back in happier times. Darius hadn't been too quick in welcoming back Tommy to the area. In fact he sounded as if he wished Tommy had never returned. Would Jude feel the same?

**  
Sometimes I fix things up  
And they fall apart again  
Nobody's perfect  
I gotta mix things up  
But I always get it right in the end (You know I do)**

[Talking  
Next time you feel like it's just one of those days  
when you just can't seem to win  
If things don't go the way that you guys planned,  
FIGURE SOMETHING ELSE OUT!  
Don't stay down! Try again! YEAH!  


Darius entered the sound booth where Kwest was to check on progress with the final single. He leaned against an unused soundboard and smiled at seeing Jude jumping around the recording booth, enjoying herself to the full. That girl always got herself lost in her music. He hoped he was doing the right thing letting Tommy back into G Major and in turn Jude's life.

**  
[Singing  
Everybody makes mistakes...**

**Everybody has those days...**

**Everybody knows what I'm talkin'  
about...**

**Everybody gets that way...**

**Everybody makes mistakes...**

**Everybody has those  
days...**

**Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' about...  
**

Tommy tore his gaze away from the photo of him and Jude and grabbed his car keys. He dropped into his viper and took off for G Major studios. He knew he wasn't needed until next week but the temptation to go looking for Jude would be too much. Besides he wanted to be familiar with the place before he officially started work there next week.

**  
Nobody's Perfect! I gotta work it!  
I know in time i'll find a way!  
Nobody's Perfect! Ya live and ya learn it!  
Cause everybody makes mistakes!  
**

Jamie checked his watch and sighed. He left a message with the receptionist for Jude, saying that he'd been called away and he'd be over hers later. If she needed him sooner then she should call him. He slipped out at the same time Tommy entered G Major. Jamie didn't recognize Tommy. Why should he? He didn't follow the charts, except to check on Jude's progress, and he hadn't been in the area when the whole Tommy and Jude saga happened.

**  
Nobody's Perfect!  
Nobody's Perfect!  
No, no.  
Nobody's Perfect...**

Jude finished singing, slipped off the headphones and joined Darius and Kwest. The two men had seen Tommy in G Major's lobby and had decided to get rid of Tommy as quickly as possible so they could get Jude out of the building. No matter how fine with it she seemed they both knew Jude would need time to get used to the idea of Tommy being around again. "So is that the take?" She asked, completely unaware of the potential meeting outside. Darius nodded absently and made some excuse before running out of the room. "What's up with him?" Jude asked Kwest, looking after Darius. He was leading a tall man through to his office. Actually come to think about it, the man looked a bit like Tommy…

"He's just stressed at the moment. The take was great Jude so you can get out of here now."

"Nah I think I'll stay here now I'm in. I have some new ideas forming in my head anyway. I'll just go find an empty studio and keep my head down." She grinned at Kwest, grabbed her bag and headed over to Studio A where it was always empty.

**Kwest sighed and fell back into his chair. This would be awkward no matter what, but he knew that Tommy and Jude could only be kept apart for so long.**


	4. Chapter 4: First Meeting

"Oh sorry I thought this studio was empty, I'll just go." Tommy turned to go out of the door but he got called back.

"No it's okay I was just throwing some ideas around, I can easily do it at home I just couldn't be bothered to leave. You can come in you know." Jude called out to him, not turning round.

Tommy walked back in the room and shut the door behind him. He took a seat on one of the sofas. He regarded the girl sitting with her back to him; she hadn't even glanced at him when he walked in. She had quite long flaming red hair. Instantly he thought of Jude. It couldn't be her, could it? There was no way Jude would have let him come in though, she would have thrown him out rather than invite him back in to the studio.

Jude carried on working, ignoring the presence of another person in the studio, for the next half an hour. Finally she threw down her pen. "Done." She proudly stated, quite forgetting that there was someone else in the studio with her.

"Well done, what were you doing anyway?" Tommy stood up and walked over to her at the same time as she spun round on the chair. The moment they saw each other they both froze. Jude's mouth fell open and all the past memories came rushing back. Tommy watched as her eyes filled with emotion as they always did but before he could identify any of them Jude hardened her eyes. Tommy waited for her to say something.

Jude just stared. He was here. Standing right in front of her. Two years of hurt and abandonment came flooding back to her. Kwest said he wasn't going to be back until next week. What was he doing here now? She hardened her eyes and crossed her arms. No way was she going to be the first to react.

Tommy broke first. He walked up to Jude and tried to take her hand. She snatched it away. "Jude I'm sorry…" Jude turned on him and gave a hollow laugh, her eyes blazing.

"Sorry? You're sorry? Oh well that makes it all alright then doesn't it Tommy? You break my heart, leave without a trace, and decide to come back unannounced and think you can just waltz back into my life. Well you can't Tom. You just can't." With that Jude grabbed her bag and stalked out of the room yelling for Kwest. He came running out of his studio, having just finished putting the last touches on her single. He saw Jude marching towards him looking as if she were about to cry; suddenly Tommy came running out of the studio he'd seen her enter nearly an hour ago. Kwest moved to one side to let Jude past and shut the door in Tommy's face. He settled down into his chair and watched Jude pace up and down the studio. Eventually she stopped in front of him, sighed loudly and leaned against the soundboard, crossing her arms as she did so. "I didn't think he was coming until next week." She finally said in a tiny voice. Kwest rose from his chair and pulled the young girl into a hug. It was then that she broke down and began sobbing. All her held back pain of the past two years had been set free by Tommy's return and she'd forgotten how much of it there was.


	5. Chapter 5: Another Chance

"So what did Darius want, Jude?" Sadie looked up from her computer as Jude slammed the door shut behind her, trying to get rid of all these mixed up emotions. Why did he have to come back? That Tom Quincy thought he could just show up and everything would be just peachy. He never thought about the consequences of anything! Sadie grabbed a piece of paper, scrunched it up into a ball and threw it at her younger sister. "Jude what happened?"

Jude sighed and pulled up the spare wheelie chair and curled her legs underneath her body. "Tommy's back in town and he's working at G Major. He showed up unannounced today."

Sadie gasped and turned fully to her sister. "No way! Are you okay Jude? Did he talk to you? How could Darius even let him _near_ that building, after all he's done to you as well! Ugh the nerve of him coming back here after so long. Do you want me to go down to G Major and talk to Darius?"

"No Sades, God that'd be so embarrassing. I can cope with him being there, it was just the surprise of seeing him I guess. All the memories…" Jude trailed off and spun absently on her chair until Sadie grabbed the arms of it. "I know, I know, don't spin on the chair cos it'll break and you don't want to have to buy another one. Did I miss anything?" Jude grinned at her older sister. Sometimes she really did sound like mum and it was nice to be able to chill with Sadie after today. She needed to relax and laugh for a bit before thinking about everything that had happened today. Sadie brandished her marker pen warningly, Jude stuck out her tounge and pushed her chair backwards laughing as it whizzed away from her sister. She stopped when the chair hit someone as they came in the door. Jude spun round to see who it was. "Oh hey Jamie." Jude bit her lip and gazed beseechingly at him as she remembered. "I am so sorry about earlier. I had to work on a new song and I forgot you were there. Don't be mad."

Jamie smiled down at his best friend and pulled her out of the chair. "I'm not mad. Although I do have some news for you. Can we go somewhere a little more private though?" He lowered his voice, his eyes on Sadie who raised one eyebrow at him.

"Jude you better not have got Andrews pregnant again!" Jude pulled a face and dragged Jamie through to the kitchen.

"Do you know someone called Kat?" Jamie asked once Jude had made them both drinks and settled herself on one of the kitchen stools. She nodded and took a sip of her drink as Jamie continued. "She's coming back after two years away. Apparently she's had a kid, but she won't tell anyone who the dad is. My mum saw Kat's mum today, which is how I know. Kat's mum said you two used to be best friends. Won't it be weird having her back again after so long? You have to introduce me to her though and don't just go off and leave me. So what did you call me for this morning anyway?"

Jude was staring into her drink trying to recall Kat. She'd left about the same time as Tommy, Jude remembered being so lonely and heartbroken when both Kat and Tommy had removed themselves from her life. And then Jamie had come along. Good old Jamie. Jude smiled to herself and then snapped back to the present where Jamie was waving his hand in front of Jude's face to get her attention. "Yeah sorry trip down memory lane. I'll introduce her just don't get a crush on her. Now that would be weird. Today? Erm well someone else from my past came back too. Remember the name Tommy?" Jamie nodded; he vaguely recalled the name but not what it meant. "He's back. Darius called me today to tell me. He's going to be working at G Major, and possibly with me." Jude stared at Jamie awaiting his reaction. All she got was a vacant look. "You don't remember what he did to me do you Jamie?" She gently probed him; he looked suitably embarrassed as he shook his head. "Okay let me remind you…"

_Flashback_

"_Yay Tommy you're back. I've missed you! How was the tour?" Jude ran up to Tommy and flung her arms around his neck firing off a million questions at him. She knew it wasn't exactly cool to react like this but hey she hadn't seen her boyfriend all summer so Jude figured she was allowed this one display of over-affection._

_Tommy however seemed a bit distant. He merely grunted a response and awkwardly hugged her back before going back over to his band mates. Honestly he'd been cramped in a small, smelly tour bus with them for six weeks and he still wanted to spend time with them and not her. Jude felt someone elbow her gently; she turned her head and smiled weakly at her best friend Kat. Kat had offered to come with her to welcome Tommy back from the Boyz Attack tour and so had seen her not so cool welcoming and Tommy's not so joyful response. Kat slid her arm through her best friend's and took her off to one side as Tommy laughed at a joke one of the guys had just told._

"_He's thrilled to be back really, he just doesn't wanna show it in front of the guys. Remember he has his rep to protect. Oh c'mon Jude smile for me! Look the guys will all go their separate ways and then I'm gonna have to look away with embarrassment when he greets you properly with one of those kisses you two have." _

_Jude smiled and sighed. Kat was right as usual; it always struck Jude weird that Kat, who understood guys completely, never had a boyfriend whilst she, who had no understanding whatsoever, was going out with Tommy. _

_She felt a bit guilty when the band dispersed and Tommy came over to them, grabbing Jude round the waist and spinning her in the air before setting her down on the ground and kissing her roughly. "Mmm I've missed you babe." Jude tried not to roll her eyes, for a few hours after tours Tommy would talk like he was still with the boys, instead she smiled back at him and returned the kiss. Things were getting a bit heated when Kat coughed awkwardly. The pair pulled apart and Jude blushed as her friend raised one eyebrow at the pair and started to walk towards the car. _

_Jude was about to go after her when Tommy slipped his hand in hers and she leaned against him, grinning like an idiot. Tommy nuzzled her neck making her giggle. Ahead of them Kat pulled open the door to the cab that was waiting for them and collapsed in the passenger seat. Tommy held the door open for Jude before jogging round to the other side. Kat took this time to turn round grinning and say, "Told you so" to her before facing the front just as Tommy fell into the cab beside Jude. The cabbie clocked Tommy and sat up straighter, Jude slumped against the seat and only smiled at Kat who shot her a sympathetic glance as Tommy and the cabbie conversed about Boyz Attack and the recent tour for the rest of the journey._

_5 months on_

"_I don't understand. What have I done?"_

"_Nothing, you haven't done anything."_

"_Then why are you doing this?"_

"_I just have to, okay?"_

"_No it's not okay. What about me Tommy? What about us? You promised me you'd never leave. You swore to me that you'd stay with me forever."_

"_And I will, just not in person. But as long as you keep me in your heart I'll always be with you. I love you."_

_He pulled her to him, wiped away her tears and kissed her deeply. He didn't want to go, but he had to. Which was why this kiss was much like their first. Deep, long and passionate filled with both lust and love. He needed her to know he loved her despite the fact he was leaving. Although he wouldn't tell her so, it was because he loved her that he was leaving. As they pulled apart a stray single tear rolled down her cheek. He wiped that tear away too, each tear landing on his heart like a ton of cement._

"_I love you too," she whispered, gazing at him with those eyes of hers. They always showed her every emotion and they showed her love, but they also showed her pain. "I'll always love you. But then again, you know that." She smiled sadly at him._

"_Yeah I do. Just like you know that I'll always love you. No matter what." He made sure she was looking at him when he said that. He needed her to know how much he loved her. His fingers rubbed his ring and after a brief hesitation he pulled off the ring and handed it to her. She gasped and took off her chain, slid the ring onto it and offered it to him. The clasp was fiddly but she always wore that chain, he'd bought it for her and so it was worth the extra time and effort required to put it on every day. He moved her silky smooth hair to one side and kissed her neck where the clasp fell. _

_She turned to face him with tears in her eyes once more. "I'll wait for you." She stated, before kissing him gently on the lips and walking away. She paused at the end of the road before turning the corner. She didn't know when she'd see him again, if she would at all. _

_End Flashback_

Jamie stared at Jude before speaking. "So this guy's back? What does he want?"

"I don't know Jamie. I don't really want to speak to him, he hurt me so much I swore that if I ever saw him again I wouldn't let him back in. The thing is Jamie. I don't know if I can stop myself from falling for him all over again despite everything that happened. He looked so good and when I ran from him he had this look in his eyes…" Jude sighed and slumped forward, burying her head in her arms, as Kwest walked in the kitchen. He indicated to Jamie that he wanted to talk to Jude alone for a minute. Jamie nodded and told Jude he'd speak to her later. Once he was gone Kwest shut the kitchen door so Sadie couldn't overhear.

"I've had him in my studio for the past two hours and all he talked about was you and how he'd made so many mistakes and how he had so much making up to do. Jude he wants another chance. Not just from Darius, not just from G Major but from you."


	6. Chapter 6: Blasts From The Past

_At Tommy's house_

Tommy slumped back on one of the sofas and ran a hand through his hair. He'd just finished a session with Kwest who hadn't exactly made him feel welcome. Tommy figured the guy had something going on with Jude, Tommy remembered how Jude had ran from the studio earlier calling his name and how he rushed to her. Had he made a mistake in going over to G Major today? He wasn't sure. He was however inspired by recent events. Like Jude, Tommy had developed as a writer and had taken to carrying a notebook and pen with him at all times. He located his notebook and flipped the cover open before beginning to write.

**I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies that I made you believe  
Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
**

_Meanwhile at Jude's house..._

At her childhood house where she'd spent so much time with Tommy, Jude opened up the doors to her closet and pried open one of the floorboards. In the space made was a small shoebox, Jude reached into the hole and pulled out the shoebox and examined it. She smiled to herself as she remembered making it and what Tommy had said to her when he first came up with the idea. "We'll put a yearly photo of us in here, and each year we'll write a letter to each other and a song. Then we'll buy each other one gift and put them all in here. We'll each have our own so I'll have one with things from you and you'll have one with things from me. Like a time capsule of our relationship…"

**  
While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for  
If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remember  
What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
**

Tommy crossed the room to where all his bags and suitcases were. He opened up one of the nearly empty suitcases and pulled out a shoebox. He prised off the lid and pulled out the old love notes from Jude. Each one dated and decorated with some of her little doodles. A few even had some lyrics from their songs in them. Underneath the notes were stacks of photographs, the ones that he hadn't put in frames, and beneath that was a nightgown Jude had given Tommy a year before he'd left. He held it up to his face and inhaled her smell. Even after all this time it still smelt like her.

**  
The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
(And I think you should know this)  
(You deserve much better than me)**

Jude placed the lid on the old shoebox, wiped away her tears and slid the shoebox under her bed. It was late and she had to get some sleep.

Tommy put everything back in the shoebox and closed the lid as he tried not to cry. Inside him a steely determination rose up. He wasn't going to rest until he got Jude back. He placed the shoebox on his bedside table and climbed into bed, not bothering to draw the curtains. It was late and he needed to get some sleep.

Across town a cab pulled up outside an empty house. A young woman stepped out of the cab and paid the driver. She picked up her things, cajoled her little boy into taking his bag with him from the cab rather than stay in the cab asleep and went up the path to the house her parents had bought them. The little boy quickly fell asleep in the pre-made bed. The young woman mentally thanked her parents for sorting out the immediate things for her. She made her way into her own room and rolled into bed. She had things she wanted to do tomorrow, starting with a visit to an old friend. Besides, it was late and she needed to get some sleep.

The next morning Jude was woken up to someone knocking at the front door. Jude moaned and rolled out of bed. She pulled on her white dressing gown and fluffy slippers before padding downstairs to answer it. She opened the door and there stood a slightly older, but still recognizable, Kat. "Oh my god Kat! Hi, how are you? Come in…give me a minute I'll just get changed and then I'll be right down." Jude shut the door behind her old friend and run upstairs to her bedroom. She dragged a brush through her hair and pulled on a black denim mini skirt, purple tights and a white top. When she got downstairs Kat was walking around the living room looking at some of the photos hanging on the wall. She had paused in front of one of Jude and Tommy back in the summer before everything changed. "Yeah Sadie won't let me get rid of that one. She says its sweet." Jude grimaced and fell back onto the sofa. "So what brings you back here?" She questioned Kat, watching curiously as the other girl moved about the house. There was something different about her Jude noticed, there was like some kind of new aura to her. Like something major had happened to her in the past two years.

"Not much, moved away to California for a while to stay with my aunt, did a college course in fashion, worked as an intern for _Teen Vogue_ oh and I erm had a baby." Kat rushed through the last part of the sentence but Jude latched on to it.

"You had a baby! When, who with, was it a boy or a girl, what did you call it, why didn't you tell me?" Kat held up her hand to stem Jude's torrent of questions and took the seat next to her.

"He's two years old and I called him Charlie. I had him while I was in California, my aunt looked after him while I was working and at college."

"Who's the dad? You didn't say. You do know don't you?"

Kat nodded but avoided eye contact. "I don't wanna talk about it Jude. So how is everything with you?"

"Well things are as well as they could be. I'm doing good with my music, just finished my latest album, erm my parents split up and have since gone AWOL so Sadie moved back from New York with Kwest her husband, and I've gotten close to this guy Jamie who moved in next door about a month after you moved away. Oh yeah and Tommy's back."

"Tommy's back?" Kat's eyes widened and she sounded surprised, in fact Jude thought there was a hint of fright in her voice too.

"Yeah I don't know when he got back but he was at G Major yesterday. We had an accidental meeting in one of the studios…" Jude trailed off as she remembered the look in Tommy's eyes as he ran after her yesterday. It was a look the old Tommy would have given her, the one who hadn't been obsessed with fame and cared about her more than anything else in the world.

"Did he tell you where he'd been?" Probed Kat, Jude shot her a confused look and shook her head. Kat seemed to sag with relief but before Jude could question her Kat's cell went off. "Hello…yeah I am…well I didn't know I had to tell you…and who's fault is that? No I will not calm down…you want to what? I don't think so…yes I know…fine I'll meet you somewhere. Bye." Kat flipped her cell shut and pulled her 'sorry' face. "Jude I'm really sorry but I have to go. I'll call you later yeah?" Jude nodded and watched in silence as Kat left.

"Well, that was beyond weird." Jude said to herself as she fell back on the sofa and turned the TV on.


	7. Chapter 7: Charlie

"So Jude, it's been a week and you've been moping about the house…is this about Tommy? Oh Jude you're going to have to face him at some point so why put it off?" Sadie stood in front of her sister who was lying on the sofa eating cookie dough covered by a blanket watching daytime talk shows. It was quite pathetic really. Jude ignored her and took another bite of cookie dough. Sadie let out a sigh of frustration and grabbed the cookie dough from Jude's hands.

"Hey! I was eating that!"

"Jude you can't sit around the house eating cookie dough on a Thursday morning. Go to G Major."

"Is it really Thursday, I thought it was like Tuesday…"

"Exactly. You're a mess, so get of your ass, have a shower, and get dressed and then I'm taking you to G Major myself even if I have to sedate you to get you there. Go!"

Sadie pulled the blanket off Jude, switched off the television and threw the cookie dough in the bin. Jude glared at her sister but none the less she heaved herself of the sofa and trudged upstairs muttering under her breath as she did so. Five minutes later Sadie smiled to herself as the sound of the shower starting up could be heard.

_Twenty minutes later_

"Hey Jude about time you showed up. Darius was thinking of sending out a search party tomorrow if you didn't show up." Kwest ruffled Jude's hair, earning himself a glare from Jude, before kissing Sadie. "How do you do it?" He pondered teasingly, his wife shrugged modestly and wrapped her arms around his torso and hugged him tightly as Tommy emerged from one of the studios. He caught Jude's eye and could've sworn he saw her smile at him briefly before reverting to her scowling expression and sending him a death glare.

Tommy sighed quietly and crossed the room to Darius' office. A moment later the man himself emerged from the heavy oak doors beaming. "Jude, there's my girl!" Jude forced a smile but Tommy, who was watching hidden in the shadows of Darius' office doorway, noticed it didn't reach her eyes. He wondered if she'd smiled like that since he'd left her two years ago. "…So Jude got any new material? Reviews of this album have been amazing and everyone keeps asking about the follow up." Jude nodded and waved her notebook. Darius inclined with his head that she should take Studio B and a producer would follow soon after.

Tommy emerged from the shadows once Jude had gone into the studio and met Darius' eyes. Tommy nodded towards the studio Jude had just entered silently asking if he could produce whatever Jude had to work on. Darius considered it for a moment and nodded his head.

Jude was facing the studio wall opposite the door so didn't know it was Tommy when her producer. "Okay let's get started Kwest. I wrote this song a few days ago after Darius called me in early on my day off. Are you ready?" Jude looked over her shoulder and gasped. "Where's Kwest?" She demanded.

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Your little boyfriend is working with another artist today so Darius put me down to work with you." So it was a lie, thought Tommy, but it was a necessary lie.

"Kwest isn't my boyfriend. He's my brother in law you idiot. No I'm not even gonna go there. Let's just get this song done."

Tommy shrugged and set up the microphone for Jude. She stayed a safe distance from him the whole time. Tommy knew that it would take some time before Jude would be able to be near him again. Once setup was finished Tommy played the piano backing music Jude had recorded at home and started to record.

**Here's another day  
Another girl left so confused  
Trying to find a way  
In the common likes of you  
But you're so undecided   
Stringing me along  
And it hurts just thinking 'bout one day you're here and then you're gone**

Nothing to say  
Wont hesitate  
Can't walk away from you  
You weren't there  
When I was scared  
Now all I wanna do is forget about love

So I don't wanna care about love  
No I don't wanna care about us  
I don't wanna care at all anymore (No, no)  
I used to only care a little bit  
But now I care way too much  
Now this love thing I wish I never felt it before  
I don't wanna care anymore  


Unlike usual Jude kept her eyes open as she sung into the microphone. Her gaze never left Tommy. She wanted him to know just what he'd done to her, how much pain she'd gone through. She wanted him to suffer and kick himself.

**  
Trying to brace myself  
For the fall coz you didn't catch me  
Promised that you would hold me tight, be the one I need**

But I stood waiting for you to come give me a ride  
Back to what love's supposed to be; I guess that was a lie

You and I now  
I don't know how  
I could have fallen so deep  
Coz you weren't here to wipe all my tears  
Erase it from my memories  
I don't want to care

So I don't wanna care about love  
No I don't wanna care about us  
I don't wanna care at all anymore (No, no)  
I used to only care a little bit  
But now I care way too much  
Now this love thing I wish I never felt it before  
I dont wanna care  


Sure enough as the song progressed Jude could see a range of emotions flicker across Tommy's eyes. First Jude watched the realization dawn on his face, then pain and regret before, finally and quite surprisingly to Jude, anger.

**  
Oh my precious time; now I can't get it back  
So lost and alone  
And I can't take feelin' like that**

Baby I've had enough  
I just wanna move on  
Don't wanna look back  
Coz I know I gotta be strong

I don't wanna care about love anymore  
I don't wanna care about us  
I don't want to care about love  


Tommy watched from the sound booth as Jude eye's shone with un-cried tears and pain, but also anger. Anger at him. He was such an idiot. No, wait, he left for Jude's own good. If he'd stayed then things would have happened a lot differently and Jude would have been hurt more. But he couldn't tell her that.

**  
So I don't wanna care about love  
No I don't wanna care about us  
I don't wanna care at all anymore (No, no)  
I used to only care a little bit  
But now I care way too much  
Now this love thing I wish I never felt it before  
I don't wanna care**

So I don't wanna care about love  
No I don't wanna care about us  
I don't wanna care at all anymore (No, no)  
I used to only care a little bit  
But now I care way too much  
Now this love thing I wish I never felt it before  
I don't wanna care anymore

Jude waited until the red light indicating recording was going on went off before pulling off her headphones and ran from the room. She was running in the direction of hospitality when she ran into:

"Kat! What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd come and see the superstar at work. I called for you and Sadie told me you were here. I brought Charlie with me too; I just wanted to make sure you weren't busy before I brought him in. He's outside with a receptionist. She wasn't too happy but when I mentioned your name she seemed only too happy…so are you busy?"

"No, no I'm not busy. You go get Charlie and bring him in here; I'm just going to go get a drink. Do you want anything?" Kat shook her head and went to fetch Charlie, she wondered if Jude would notice anything about him. And if she did what would it be, or would she say anything in the first place?

"So…" Kat stared at Jude awaiting a response, any response, upon seeing Charlie for the first time. Jude said nothing but stared at Charlie's face, or rather stared at his eyes. He had Tommy's eyes. Jude pushed down on her legs and stood up, wordlessly she walked past Kat and back to the studio where she had just left Tommy. She reached the door and saw Tommy in there talking to Kwest; Tommy had his back to her. She wrenched open the door and launched herself at Tommy.

"How could you? How bloody well could you? You were mine and she was my _best friend_! I hate you Tommy! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!" Jude screamed as Kwest pulled her off Tommy who was standing there shell-shocked. The colour drained from his face as he watched Kwest drag Jude out of the room kicking and screaming obscenities at him, he swore out loud when he saw Kat standing in hospitality with Charlie by her side looking confused. Kat met his eye, shook her head and, taking Charlie's hand, left G Major. Tommy swore again, she knew, Jude knew everything.

In one of the more secluded studios Kwest pushed Jude into a chair and pushed her back down when she tried to get up. This was repeated several times until Jude gave in and fell back against the chair. She had tears in her eyes but Jude was tired of crying. She didn't want to cry over Tommy anymore, she refused. Kwest crouched down in front of the chair. "What was that about?" He asked softly, knowing that she needed to talk about it.

"Him and how he, ugh, how he _slept_ with my best friend. My best friend! And how he got her pregnant and then they both left." Jude paused as realisation dawned on her face. "That summer, when they both left. Kat living with her aunt, Tommy having to leave but not telling me why. Neither of them told me. Either one could have told me; heck they _should have told me_! She was my best friend and he was my boyfriend. Oh my god I think I'm gonna throw up." Jude massaged her forehead and looked at Kwest dejectedly. "They lied to me Kwest, they were the closest and most important people in my life at that time and they lied to me." Sod not crying, thought Jude as she began to cry bitterly, my best friend had my boyfriend's baby. Somebody phone Opera, I could get a whole week of shows with her at this rate. Kwest sighed and pulled Jude into a hug. There was a knock at the door and Tommy appeared.

"Hey man I think you should just back off a bit."

"Thanks for the advice but I want to talk to Jude."

"That wasn't advice, that was an order. Now back off Mr Boy Band before you do any more damage." Kwest rose from where he was and roughly shoved Tommy out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him and locking it. "I'm phoning Sadie and then I'm gonna go talk to Darius, you stay here until Sadie comes to get you. Got it?" Jude nodded, wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket and sniffed dejectedly. Kwest left the room and shut the door behind him. Jude heard raised voices through the door and presumed Tommy was still outside. She curled herself up into a ball and rocked herself in an attempt to calm down as she hiccupped violently.

Ten minutes later Sadie rushed into the studio looking windswept. She scanned the room for Jude and found her curled up in a corner sobbing quietly to herself. Sadie's shoulders sagged in sympathy and she enveloped her younger sister into a hug. Jude said nothing but leant against her older sister and clung to her like a small child. There was a knock at the door and Darius appeared, he approached the two sisters and crouched down in front of them. "Jude, Kwest told me everything. Do you wanna stay at home for a bit?" Jude shook her head and Darius flashed her a grin. "That's my girl. You gonna be okay working with him still?" Darius spat out the word 'him' "Or do you want Kwest to take over?" Sadie turned to Jude expectantly, Jude sighed knowing either way she'd regret her decision somehow.

She met Darius' gaze and smiled lightly, he'd been like a father to her for the past two years and knew he was looking out for her. She took a deep breath and shook her head. "No let's keep things the way they are. I'm a professional, I won't let things like this get in the way of making music and I'm not gonna run away. If my music suffers then, and only then, will I switch producers. But thanks anyway D." Seeing Sadie's face Jude rolled her eyes. "Sadie I'll be fine. I'm not a little girl anymore, this is something I need to do. Please don't get all stressy at me Sades, I need your support." Sadie nodded but didn't look very happy. Half an hour later both Sadie and Darius had left Jude alone, Kwest was occupied recording and Tommy had been told by Darius to take the afternoon off. Jude was sitting in the same studio writing manically when there was a cough from behind her. Jude looked over her shoulder and saw Kat standing there looking nervous.

"Can I come in?" She asked fiddling with her bracelet.

Jude considered for a moment before nodding "I think you'd better."

Kat walked in and sat down in the chair next to Jude. "Do you want to know anything, I mean have you got any questions?"

Jude laughed hollowly and when she spoke her voice was laced with a bitter sarcasm "Have I got any questions? Oh yeah Kat I got tons of questions. Like how could my best friend do that to me, how could my boyfriend do that to me, or better still how come both of them did it to me and then never told me when they both reappeared in my life two years later?" Jude was shouting now and Kat had tears in her eyes.

"I wanted to tell you Jude I really did but I was scared, I freaked out when you mentioned Tommy being back. Showing you Charlie was my way of telling you."

"Well you might as well fill in all the blanks now you're here Kat."

"What do you want to know?" Asked Kat biting her lip, looking terrified and nervous

"Tell me everything." Jude turned her chair so she was facing Kat and folded her arms across her chest.

"Everything?" Kat looked like she was about to throw up.

"Yeah Kat, everything"


	8. Chapter 8: Stupid Girl, March On

And so Kat talked, she told Jude absolutely everything…

_It was a Friday night and the last roll of thunder had just ended, signalling that the thunderstorm was over. Kat breathed a sigh of relief. Thunderstorms terrified Jude so when it had started she'd phoned Kat to say that she'd be late because she wanted to stay at home until the thunderstorm was over. Kat didn't have a problem with that, it was the fact that Tommy was already here and didn't seem all too keen on leaving now he'd gotten comfortable on the sofa in Kat's basement where they were having their weekly movie night. Or rather their weekly 'Kat-watches-the-movie-while-Tommy-and-Jude-make-out-night'. Kat sat up as her cell started ringing, startling both her and Tommy. Kat looked at the caller-ID and felt a wave of guilt wash over her. Oh my god what had she just done? Tommy's questioning gaze met her own and the wave of guilt was now threatening to engulf her whole. Kat flipped her cell up and turned her back on Tommy._

"_Hey Jude, you okay now? I think the storm's passed…"_

"_Yeah it has. I'll be over in about ten minutes, are we still on for the movie?"_

"_Course we are silly, Friday night tradition. See you in ten."_

_Kat shut the cell with a snap and faced Tommy again. He was pulling on his top whilst searching for his belt. Kat bit her lip and felt her chest tighten with, she wasn't sure what with actually. Kat relayed the past hour over in her head. Tommy had arrived armed with the movie for that evening and a bag of popcorn. Jude was due to be over any minute now. The radio was playing in the background and Kat heard the newsreader warning of a thunderstorm coming quite soon. "That'll be Jude staying home 'til it's gone then." Tommy had remarked with a hint of irritation in his voice as Kat's house phone rang. Sure enough it was Jude phoning to say she'd hang out at home until the thunderstorm was gone. Then the power went out. Kat screamed, she'd always hated the dark, and Tommy chuckled at her. He produced a cigarette lighter and used it to locate a torch in the cupboard Kat had pointed out to him. He also used his lighter to light some of the candles that were in the basement. _

_The pair lay there in silence, listening to the sound of the rain hitting the roof, the deep rolls of thunder and the trees being whipped against the house windows as the wind howled through their branches. Kat shivered slightly. Tommy shot her a sideward glance and pulled the blanket over to where they were sitting. After a momentary awkwardness Kat moved slightly closer to Tommy, what with the power out her heating had packed in too so it was quite cold. Tommy gave no reaction but started a casual conversation. "I don't understand Jude sometimes. I love thunderstorms, there's just something about them." Kat nodded and murmured some kind of agreement; Tommy gazed down at her and smiled. "I sometimes wish Jude was more like you: spontaneous and unafraid." Kat smiled awkwardly but couldn't help blushing. Kat wasn't sure who initiated it but suddenly the pair were kissing almost wildly. Things soon escalated and Kat found herself making love to her best friend's boyfriend, and yet she didn't care. For once Kat felt special, for once she felt complete. So she surrendered to the moment and banished all guilty thoughts from her mind as she dug her nails into Tommy's back and called out his name as the thunder rumbled around outside. _

_And now Kat felt sick with herself, and disgusted at Tommy. In fact she was appalled at both of them, Tommy was Jude's boyfriend and she was Jude's best friend. Kat pulled up her jeans and turned to Tommy. "This never happened." She told him, Tommy nodded his agreement and put on his belt. And when Jude arrived the pair acted as normal._

_Three weeks later Kat phoned Tommy in tears. "Is Jude with you?" She asked. Tommy told her he was alone so Kat dropped her bombshell. "I've skipped a period and I've been sick every morning this week. I've just took a test, I get the results in a minute." Tommy stayed on the line and they waited together. Kat checked the stick up against the box and cried even harder. "It's positive Tom." Was all she said before she hung up. _

_Tommy drove to Kat's house straight away, when she opened the door she was still crying and just holding the stick in her hand. Her mascara was smudged and her cheeks tear stained. Tommy stepped inside and pulled her into a hug. Kat clung to him and sobbed._

_So the pair talked. Kat was never going to agree to an abortion, and Tommy wasn't going to let Kat go through the pregnancy by herself. No matter how much he regretted what had happened between them he was prepared to face the consequences. Eventually they decided that Kat would move to California and stay in a house Tommy had bought there recently with money from Boyz Attack. Tommy would leave first, and Kat would follow a month or two after. As Tommy left the house he told Kat to leave Jude to him. Glad that one of them knew what they were doing, or at least seemed to, Kat nodded and shut the door. _

"And then he phoned me asking to meet me, and he broke up with me. That's when he gave me his ring. I thought something had happened on tour, I thought he was in trouble with the police. Oh my god I thought he'd killed someone at one point. And you just let me sit there and speculate, thinking the worse while all the time you had his baby growing inside you."

"I'm sorry" Kat sobbed. "I was scared, he told me not to tell anybody and besides I was ashamed. I hated myself for what I did and what was happening, I didn't want you to hate me too." She rose from her chair and wiped her eyes. "I am sorry Jude I really am. I understand if you completely hate me and everything, but I was just a stupid girl who made a stupid mistake." With that Kat left the room leaving Jude deep in thought. Jude sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"That was a big sigh." Came a familiar voice. Jude looked up and broke into a grin when she saw Speid, the main guitarist from her band SME, at the door. "Woah dude easy on the love I gotta sing you know!" Joked Speid as Jude hugged him tightly. She pulled away blushing. "Hey I heard from Kwest what happened. That's some harsh stuff to deal with. You okay dude?" Jude lowered her eyes to the floor and nodded. There was a brief lull before Speid spoke again. "Hey wanna sit in on our recording? I wrote a song, don't tell the guys but it's sort of for you dude. I know that it all happened a good while ago but the past week brought it all back. So you wanna…?"

Jude considered for a moment before nodding. As she accompanied Speid over to Studio C where Kwest was she remembered that summer a year ago. Jude was still moping over Tommy and her music was her only respite, it was all that was keeping her going. Speid had gone through some tough times too, his girlfriend had been killed in a drive-by shooting as she was on her way to meet him for dinner. Speid was even more devastated because it turned out she was pregnant with his baby when she died. Music also became his solitude and it was through this that the pair of them bonded. Speid, Kyle and Wally had been her band for the past year and a half (they'd been Jude's band for 6months when Tommy left, so in Jude's memory of a year ago the time is a year and a half ago) and although Jude had got on with him she hadn't really bonded with Speid much before this. Soon the pair became closer than ever, acting like boyfriend and girlfriend although there was no romantic interest in their relationship: they were just really close. It was that summer when they had all gone to the park: Speid, Kyle, Wally, Jude and Jamie, and whilst the other guys had gotten involved in some mass joke fight Speid sat with Jude. "We're like soldiers Jude, we march on. We march to make it through the night because we want to see the sun. Our music is what's saved us so far. We just have to march on, y'know?" Jude glanced at him amazed that he had been so deep with her. She smiled at his analogy and picked a daisy, plucking off it's petals, she nodded and pushed him gently mocking his deepness.

Back to present and they had reached the studio. "Hey Kwest is it okay if Jude sits in on the recording?" Kwest looked up and eyed Jude obviously looking for signs of mass distress, content that she seemed fine he nodded and motioned to the seat on his left. Jude took the seat and watched as the guys warmed up. This was the first time she'd heard any of the solo stuff Darius had them working on. The sound of drumming quickly filled the room before Speid started singing into the microphone, looking straight at Jude as he did.

**Don't cry, open up your eyes and know  
There's someone else out there that feels this way**

I'm singing to you  
'cause I know what you've been through and now  
Not so long ago I felt the same

Like soldiers, march on  
If we can make it through the night we'll see the sun  
March on, march on  


Jude smiled as Speid sung that last part: there was his analogy, his secret message to her.

**  
I remember summer nights alone  
Fireflies the only thing we own  
You're all we ever dreams of California  
And I remember winters were so cold  
Hunger was the only thing we know  
And rock n' roll dreamin' was what saved us**

Like soldiers  
March on  
If we can make it through the night we'll see the sun  
March on, march on

Till we see the sun (March on)  
Till we see the sun

Through the good times  
Through the bad times  
Through the long days  
Through the hard nights  
Keep on till we see the sun

Like soldiers, march on  
If we can make it through the night we'll see the sun  
March on, march on

Like soldiers, march on  
If we can make it through the night we'll see the sun  
March on, march on

Even when there's no one there for you march on  
Even when the days are long for you march on  
Like soldiers March on!

Jude waited until the red light went out before bursting into applause. Speid and the guys looked modestly embarrassed but soon Jude's enthusiasm was catching and they began an impromptu jamming-session. Jude noticed some of the people out in the lobby glancing in at her and whispering to a nearby person. Jude sat down on the stool and turned to Speid, addressing him in song.

**Everybody's talking, but they don't say a thing**

**They look at me with sad eyes  
But I don't want the sympathy  
Its cool you didn't want me  
Sometimes you can't go back  
But why'd you have to go and make a mess like that  
Well I just have to say  
Before I let go  
**

**Have you ever been low?  
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?  
When the truth came out  
Were you the last to know?  
Were you left out in the cold?  
What you did was low  
**

Unable to help himself as he heard Jude's voice ringing out through the lobby Tommy slipped in to the room unnoticed and watched Jude singing. By now Speid had picked out a guitar line with Wally joining in and Kyle was starting up with a drum line.

**  
No I don't need your number  
There's nothing left to say  
Except I never thought it'd hurt this much to be saved  
My friends are outside waiting  
I've gotta go**

Have you ever been low?  
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?  
When the truth came out  
Were you the last to know?  
Were you left out in the cold?  
What you did was low  
What you did was low (low)  
What you did was low (low)  
What you did was low (low)

I walk out of this darkness  
With no sense of regret  
And I go with a clear conscience  
We both know that you can't say that  
Here's to show  
For all the time I loved you so…  
So...  


As Jude sung this bit she caught sight of Tommy standing at the back of the room. Speid caught her eye and smiled at her, mouthing the words 'march on' at her. Jude returned the smile and sang with more passion.

**  
Have you ever been low?  
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?  
When the truth came out  
Were you the last to know?  
Were you left out in the cold  
Cos what you did was low?**

**  
Have you ever been low?  
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?  
When the truth came out  
Were you the last to know?  
Were you left out in the cold  
Cos what you did was low?  
Have you ever been low?  
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?  
Cuz what you did was low**

Kwest applauded as Jude finished and soon SME were joining in. Kwest started talking about recording it as Jude's next single. Jude cheered and hugged them all. It was in the midst of all this confusion that Tommy left the room trying to hold back his tears.


	9. Chapter 9: Liar Liar

**You said I...  
was your everything  
You said I...  
was the one  
You played me  
like a radio  
You used to love that I...  
had no shame**

**Put my pain into words  
Hold my hand to the flame  
**

Jude paused, her fingers hovering over the piano keys, and jotted down what she had just sung before carrying on.****

Tell me you'll love me like a star  
Tell me you want me wherever you are  
Tell me you'll breathe me till your last breath  
Liar liar   
Oh, liar liar  


That's what they both were, Tommy and Kat, they were liars. They'd lied to her; they'd covered up the fact that something had happened. It was bad enough that one of them had lied to her but the fact that they both had tore at her.

**  
Bit by bit  
I feel the draft  
Just sit back  
and watch it burn  
Hold your eyes up to my veins  
Call out, call out my name  
**

Had he called out her name? Jude wondered as her fingers danced across the keys and she sung. Had Tommy cheated on her before Kat? Jude had never had any reason to be suspicious of Tommy when they'd been together but what with this new revelation Jude pondered about how much of their relationship had been real and honest.

**  
Tell me you'll love me like a star  
Tell me you want me wherever you are  
Tell me you'll breathe me till your last breath  
Liar liar   
Oh, liar liar  
Liar liar  
Oh, liar liar  
**

Jude blamed herself really; maybe if she had put out for Tommy then he wouldn't have gone to her best friend. Man was it going to take a long time for her to be able to say or think that without feeling physically ill. There must have been some reason Tommy had felt the need to go to someone else, why couldn't he have waited for Jude like he said he would?

**  
Tell me you'll love me like a star  
Tell me you want me wherever you are  
Tell me you'll breathe me till your last breath  
liar liar  
Oh, Tell me you'll love me like a star  
Tell me you want me wherever you are  
Tell me you'll breathe me till your last breath  
Liar liar  
Oh, liar liar**

Speid stood outside the studio door listening; Jude was really cut up about this situation. He knew she was being strong in front of everyone else because that was typical Jude. Speid had guessed she'd wait until nearly everyone had gone home before taking advantage of the studio with the piano to vent her feelings into song. It was her way, as it was his. Jude finished singing sounding close to tears. Speid's heart went out to her. He cleared his throat making his presence known. "Hey dude Jude, good song." He told her leaning against the door. Jude struggled to smile but forced one anyway. He entered the room and pulled her up off the piano stool and into a hug. "It'll be okay Jude, just cry for once. Just cry here and now, nobody else will know. Stop acting so strong when you feel so weak. Let someone in, someone that won't hurt you, someone like me."

Jude sniffed and buried her face in his chest. Speid held her close letting her cry for as long as she wanted. The pair just stood in the centre of the studio in silence, which was only broken whenever Jude sniffed or Speid whispered comforting words to her. Eventually Jude pulled back from Speid's embrace looking embarrassed. "God I'm such an idiot Speid. It was all my fault anyway, I don't deserve your sympathy." Speid shook his head gravely and took Jude by the shoulder.

"Never say that again dude Jude. No way was that your fault you hear me? Tommy was just an asshole and Kat was no better. Neither of them should have done what they did, especially to you because there is nobody I know who deserves that least of all you." Speid gently tucked a strand of hair behind Jude's ear and lifted her face slightly so she was looking at him. "Hey I mean it Jude. None of this is your fault so don't blame yourself. Jude?"

Jude smiled, a genuine one this time although it didn't quite reach her eyes, and nodded mutely. She reached out and pulled him back into their earlier hug. Speid said nothing, he just held her as she sobbed.


	10. Chapter 10: I'm Sorry

The next day everyone expected Jude to stay at home, or come in and try to stay in the background of things. So everyone was surprised when she bounded in screaming and laughing being chased by Speid wearing tight black jeans and a bright yellow top that clashed with her bright red hair. Tommy poked his head out of the studio to complain about the noise and froze. She looked so beautiful when she laughed. He mentally slapped himself for being so stupid. There was no way now he'd have any chance in hell of getting her back. He'd lost her for good.

Speid eventually caught up to Jude and swung her around in the air laughing manically as she screamed at him to put her down. Darius came storming out of his office. "Hey, hey, HEY. Speid put her down, Jude stop screaming." Speid and Jude stopped making so much noise and looked at the floor ashamed at being told of so publicly. Darius waved his hand at Speid dismissing him and turned to Jude. "You okay Jude?" Jude nodded her head and pushed back the hair that fell onto her face. "Are you sure? I mean that was some pretty big revelation yesterday…"

"I'm fine D," Jude sighed exasperated as Darius frowned sceptically at her. "Darius sure I'm upset and yes I feel like an idiot and my heart is broken but I have no option but to get over it and move on. Just please stop asking me if I'm okay as if you expect me to burst into tears if someone says the wrong thing or if I see him. Let me go through this my own way. I need to be here and keep my mind busy, I need to have a good time with people who won't hurt me and I need to record music. I have to march on." Across the room Speid was watching the pair talk, he wasn't sure of his feelings for Jude but he knew that he cared for her and was protective of her. He smiled as he read her lips saying their phrase. Jude caught his eye and smiled at him, Darius glanced over his shoulder to see whom she was smiling at and Speid smiled nervously at the man. Darius raised his eyebrows and turned back to Jude; he said something to her and walked off yelling for Kwest.

Jude made her way over to Speid, who had by now turned around to talk to Kyle and Wally about set up for their next song, and jumped on his back giggling. He staggered backwards towards the sofas and fell back on one playfully crushing Jude. "Argh no Speid get up! You're crushing me!" In the studio Tommy rolled his eyes. He didn't know what was going on between Speid and Jude but it drove him wild with jealousy at the thought of someone else having her heart.

"Jude get in here we have to keep recording for your album." He called out to the pair instantly ruining the mood. Jude scowled at him and exchanged glances with Speid, Kyle and Wally. Jude shrugged, grabbed her journal from the table where she'd thrown it earlier and strolled into the studio as if everything was normal. As Tommy was setting up he tried to talk to her. "Jude about what happened yesterday-"

Jude cut him off. "I don't want to talk to you Quincy" Jude spat out his name as if it burned her lips to speak it. "Lets just record and then I can go back to pretending you don't exist." She knew it was harsh but she had to be flippant with him otherwise, despite what she'd told Darius, she would cry. Tommy looked at her sadly but said nothing more.

Once set up was finished and Jude had told Tommy that the song was a ballad with a piano line she spoke no more to him. Tommy flicked the recording switch and Jude's voice began to fill the booth.

**I'm not the type to get my heart broken  
I'm not the type to get upset and cry  
Cause I never leave my heart open  
Never hurts me to say goodbye  
Relationships don't get deep to me  
Never got the whole in love thing  
And someone can say they love me truly  
But at the time it didn't mean a thing**

My mind is gone, I'm spinning round  
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown  
I'm losing grip, what's happening?  
I stray from love, this is how I feel

This time was different  
Felt like, I was just a victim  
And it cut me like a knife  
When you walked out of my life  
Now I'm, in this condition  
And I've, got all the symptoms  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?  
Cause it's hurting me to let it go  
Maybe cause we spent so much time  
And I know that it's no more  
I shoulda never let you hold me baby  
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart  
I didn't give to you on purpose  
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

My mind is gone, I'm spinning round  
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown  
I'm losing grip, what's happening?  
I stray from love, this is how I feel

This time was different  
Felt like, I was just a victim  
And it cut me like a knife  
When you walked out of my life  
Now I'm, in this condition  
And I've, got all the symptoms  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

How did I get here with you, I'll never know  
I never meant to let it get so, personal  
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you  
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know  
And I won't let it show  
You won't see me cry

This time was different  
Felt like, I was just a victim  
And it cut me like a knife  
When you walked out of my life  
Now I'm, in this condition  
And I've, got all the symptoms  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

This time was different  
Felt like, I was just a victim  
And it cut me like a knife  
When you walked out of my life  
Now I'm, in this condition  
And I've, got all the symptoms  
Of a girl with a broken heart  
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life...

God he was such an idiot. Why? Why had he been so stupid as to throw away all he had with Jude back then, and mess it up when he finally got the courage to come back to her? Now because of his actions he'd lost the only person he could ever love. He switched on the intercom between the two rooms and tried once more to get her to listen to him. "Jude I'm sorry." She just looked at him sadly.

"So am I Tommy, so am I." She whispered before walking out of the room as her tears got the better of her.


	11. Chapter 11: Duet Dupe

The next day Darius come up to Jude asking her if she would be willing to record a duet. "Sure, who with? Speid?"

Darius paused for a minute as if thinking something over before replying, flashing Jude a disarming smile. "Sure thing, a duet with Speid. You'll be recording your parts separately though okay? To fit in with your schedules and such…" Darius looked shifty but Jude didn't notice. She just nodded her head, made her way to the studio and wordlessly slipped on her headphones as Tommy entered the room and did the same. Jude turned to him.

"You're in the wrong room jackass."

"Kwest is producing, we haven't done the other part yet so I offered to step in for timing purposes." Jude eyed Tommy with suspicion but said nothing else. Kwest entered the room and shot Jude a look of sympathy, she shot one back seeking help, a look to which Kwest shook his head before setting starting to record.

_Male Part: Talking_**  
I believe that love and trust are one in the same.  
I don't think you can truly love somebody unless you trust them.  
That blind trust, that beyond a shadow of a doubt,  
No matter what this person says, that person,  
You believe your man.  
Now you say you love me,  
But everytime one of your little friends comes at you with something  
We gotta do this.  
Momma I'm tryin, I'm tryin to show you I'm for real.  
Tell me what I gotta do to show you that I'm for you  
**

Tommy never moved his eyes from Jude's face, as if by staring at her she would look back at him before long. However Jude was staring determinedly at the floor, the glass partition, the sheet of music, in fact anything that wasn't Tommy. Tommy sighed quietly as Jude begun to sing.

**  
**_Female Part (Male Part)_**  
Just shut up and listen...  
Two hundred and sixteen,  
That's how many times that I went back and forth about it in my mind,  
Could she, could she really be who he's tellin me that she is,  
There's somethin about it that don't feel right.**

Jude finally looked at Tommy, but it was to flash him a look of distain and it exposed Tommy to the hurt she'd been carrying in her eyes ever since that day. Outside Darius had cornered Speid and was talking to him, he must have said something about Jude because Speid turned to look at Jude singing beside the man who had broken her. Jude met his eye and smiled lightly as she carried on singing, bitterness creeping into her voice.

**  
Saturday she called here 26 times,  
(Oh you counted?)  
You kept tellin' me not to worry,  
(Don't worry bout it)  
Wanna believe that you're tellin the truth,  
(Then don't doubt it)  
But if you are lying then leave,  
You're leavin tonight,  
Out of my life,  
Everyone said you aint no good  
And you proved them right.  
You're leavin tonight,  
It's over and done,  
Ain't no sense in tryin to wait,  
Till the mornin comes.  
**

Tommy winced at her voice as if she had slapped him round the face. Maybe after this had been recorded he could get her to listen to him. They could talk properly, about everything.

**  
**_Male Part_**  
Baby now hold up,  
Lets just settle down  
Cause there's a perfect explanation  
To this situation,  
That we're going through (this thing that we're going through)  
I swear I don't know that girl,  
But I've seen her around  
And she's expressed how much she want it,  
But baby I'm not lonely,  
All of me is for all of you.  
**

**  
**_Male Part (Female Part)_**  
Said I gotta girl like a thousand times  
(Oh so you counted?)  
She kept tellin me not to worry  
(Don't worry bout it)  
Please believe I'm tellin the truth  
(I really doubt it)  
Really wish you would believe in me  
I'm not leavin tonight  
Girl you're my life  
All of your friends think I'm no good  
Please don't prove em right  
I'm not leavin tonight  
It's over and done,  
Lets leave this alone  
And lets make love til the mornin come  
Not leavin tonight  
**

Jude closed her eyes as Tommy's smooth voice caressed her ears. She hated herself for being so weak but she couldn't resist him. Deep down no matter how much she hated him Jude was still in love with Tommy. And when he looked like that all she wanted to do was kiss him. Tommy took the opportunity that arose when she closed her eyes to look at Jude properly. She looked paler than usual and slightly thinner but she was still the same Jude. His Jude. God how he wanted to kiss her, right there in the studio. He missed her so much his body ached.

_Female Part (Male Part)_**  
Oh I wont deny  
That everything in my body  
Wants to know that you're the one  
(so what's the problem girl)  
See I cant take this serious  
When you're just havin fun  
You're steady runnin around  
Makin a fool of me  
(Baby you can't listen to everyone)  
(I'm you're man)  
You're my man  
(Trust in me, dont let them interfere with us being happy)  
(Love me girl)  
I love you that's a fact  
(Say that you love me)  
But I'll be damned if I would let you  
Just up and disrespect whose  
Been there from the start.  
You claim, claim that not knowin  
Her name and number is in your phone  
She even got a ring tone  
You care to explain that.  
**

Outside the studio Speid watched the pair singing, hating Tommy for being able to be so close to Jude after he'd hurt her. Darius had explained that the duet was Tommy's way of getting Jude to be able to stand being near him again otherwise her work would suffer. Speid saw through that excuse, even if Darius hadn't, all Tommy wanted was to get close to Jude and win her back. Speid wondered if Tommy had considered that someone else cared for Jude. Someone who wouldn't let her go back to Tommy without a fight.

**  
**_Female Part (Male Part)_**  
Saturday she called here 26 times  
(I know you counted)  
You kept tellin me not to worry  
(Please don't worry bout it)  
Wanna believe that you tellin the truth  
(So don't doubt it)  
But if you are lying then leave  
(I'm not leavin tonight)  
(Girl you're my life)  
Everyone said you aint no good  
And you proved them right  
(Said I'm not leavin tonight)  
It's over and done  
(Lets leave this alone and lets make love til the mornin comes)  
(Said I just need you to trust me baby)  
I wanna trust you  
(Not leavin tonight)**

As the music faded Tommy and Jude just stared at each other, both too afraid to move or talk as if some spell would be broken with disastrous results. Tommy moved closer to Jude and although a wild fear came into her eyes she didn't move away from him. Encouraged Tommy moved closer still until he was able to reach up and touch Jude's face. He stroked her cheek lovingly and gazed at her adoringly. "Jude…" he started as the door opened and Speid entered the room dragging Jude off, leaving Tommy standing there defeated staring after them.

Jude stopped Speid once they'd gone a certain distance and whirled round. "What the hell was that about?" She demanded angrily. Speid said nothing but leant down and kissed Jude, their lips crashing together wildly. Jude did nothing at first, she was that taken aback, but once she'd got over the shock she kissed Speid back, standing on tiptoes slightly.

"Get a room guys!" Came the catcall as a pillow came flying through the air hitting them. Speid turned and glared at Kyle, Wally and Jamie who had come for a brief catch up visit.

Jude blushed and looked down at the floor. Kyle and Wally pulled Speid away laughing like idiots as Jamie made his way to Jude's side. He pulled her to one of the sofas and sat down on it, pulling Jude with him. Sensing his seriousness Jude bit the bullet. "What's up?" She asked frowning at him. Jamie looked about the room unable to meet Jude's gaze. Jude punched him on the shoulder and raised one eyebrow at him.

"I'm leaving." Was all he said before standing up and walking out of G Major. Jude sat there for a moment in shock before running out after him.

"Where? Why? Jamie come back!" Jamie slowed down and Jude caught up to him, breathless she repeated herself. "Where are you going Andrews?"

"To England. I landed a job at a record company there. My plane is leaves in four hours so I thought I'd come and say goodbye, but it was too hard to say bye to you Jude. You're my bud."

Jude blinked back tears and flung her arms around Jamie. He stood awkwardly for a moment before hugging her back and stroking her hair as she cried onto his shoulder. "I don't want you to go Jamie. Why can't you just get a job here at G Major? Darius would hire you in an instant."

"Jude I tried to apply for a job at G Major but I didn't get it, a certain Mr Quincy did. Besides, England Jude It's a massive opportunity for me."

"But you don't know anyone in England. We're all here, you'll be lonely."

"So come visit me then, and besides I'll find some people to hang out with. Nobody as good as you guys of course but I'm sure there'll be somebody at least. And I'll be back for summer, that's only three months away. It's not that long."

Jude sniffed and clung to Jamie, still reluctant to let you go. "It's long enough. What am I gonna do without you Jamie? You've been my closest friend for two years."

"I know Jude and I'm gonna miss you. But we can phone each other, and write, and email. Heck I'll send carrier pigeons and smoke signals if I have to!" Jude giggled and Jamie smiled at her. "You okay now Harrison?" He asked. She nodded and wiped her eyes smiling at him. He slipped his arm through hers and they walked back to G Major together.


	12. Chapter 12: Suprise Trip

"Hey Jude dude I was wondering where you'd got to…" Speid looked confused as Jude practically ignored him and barged into Darius' office. "What's up with her?" He asked the others. Kyle and Wally shrugged, Jamie said nothing but went after his friend.

"You chose Tommy over him, how can you say this isn't partly your fault! The only reason I said I'd be okay about Tommy being here was because I thought I'd have Jamie here to help me and now because of you he's going to England! How could you do that Darius, why couldn't you just pick Jamie? You should've said no to Tommy and yes to Jamie. Why didn't you?"

"I had to think of the company Jude, Tommy is better for the company. He has more experience than Jamie. I'm sorry that he's moving to England but I stick by my decision to hire Tommy over Jamie."

Jude let out a strangled scream as Jamie appeared in the room. He coughed nervously. "Jude?" She turned round, the angry fire still in her eyes, and glared sulkily back at him. "Jude it's okay. Look I have to go back and pack. I'll call you when my plane lands okay?" Jude nodded, hugged her friend goodbye and stormed out of the room with tears falling freely. Speid made to go after her but Kyle and Wally stopped him shaking their heads at him. The three boys fell back onto a sofa in unison and waved goodbye at Jamie as he walked past.

In the women's toilet Jude phoned Sadie. "Sades I don't think I can cope anymore. Tommy keeps trying to talk to me, Speid kissed me today and Jamie's leaving for England tonight. I'm just so lost and I don't know what to do. Help me."

At home Sadie glanced at the clock, a courier was arriving with some work for her in half an hour. She could either talk to Jude and try and calm her down on the phone and talk to her later, or drive over there pick up her baby sister and bring her home. "Jude sweetie tell me what happened, wait did you say Speid kissed you?"

Jude nodded before she realised Sadie couldn't see her. "I was recording a duet that Darius said was with Speid but we had to record our parts separately and Tommy was singing the male part when I was recording my part for timing apparently, and erm at the end of the song Tommy started to talk to me but then Speid burst in. He dragged me out of the room and when I asked him what was up he kissed me and then Jamie appeared and told me he was leaving for England tonight, in about three hours and that he'd be back for summer. But summer's three months away Sadie!" Jude sighed and ran a hand through her hair "What should I do?"

Sadie considered for a moment before replying. "I think you have to stop leaning on Jamie. You are strong Jude, you can cope without him for a little while. Three months will fly by. With Speid, well that depends on how you feel about him…"

"But I don't know how I feel that's the problem!"

"Okay so think about how you feel and in the meantime tell him to back off, plead thinking space. Speid's a good kid so he should be cool with it. If not get Kwest onto him. And Tommy? You wait as long as necessary until you talk to him. What he did hurt you big time and you need to get over that hurt before you can talk to him. If he keeps talking to you tell him that, like with Speid, you need thinking space. He should get the message too. The guy probably just wants to tell you he's sorry and plead another chance or something. But you do what you have to do and don't let either of them pressure you into anything okay? Listen Jude I gotta go, someone's at the door. I'll talk to you later, kay? Kisses"

"Yeah thanks Sades. Kisses back." Jude shut her cell phone and leant against the toilet wall as tears cascaded down her face. There was a knock at the door and Jude thought someone wanted the toilet. "I won't be a minute hang on!" Called out Jude ripping off a sheet of toilet paper and drying her eyes frantically.

"Jude it's me, can I come in?"

Jude said nothing but the door unlocked so he took that for her admitting him in. He attracted some strange looks as he entered the ladies toilet but he didn't care. All he cared about was Jude. He tentatively pushed open the door and gazed sadly down at her sitting on the cold, hard floor with fresh tears springing from her beautiful eyes and trailing down her soft cheeks. "Jude, come for a drive with me. Please."

Jude stared at him. "Not if you don't want to of course. It was just an idea. Just another stupid idea…" He fixed his gaze firmly on a cracked tile far away from Jude. She watched him and smiled slightly. He looked so desolate, like a little lost boy.

"Sure, a drive sounds good." His face light up and he held out his hand to help her up. She hesitated briefly, eyeing him warily, before accepting it.

Half an hour later they were driving down a freeway with the car top down and the wind blowing through their hair. Jude reached up towards the sky and let out a scream of joy. He chuckled to himself as he watched the sun illuminate her face making her more beautiful than he thought possible. Soon they passed the state line and she turned to him, looking worried. "Hey erm where exactly are we going?" She bit her lip anxiously.

"Erm well it's a surprise."

Jude sighed and sunk back into the car seat, unsure of whether or not she was doing the right thing in leaving with him. Things were so confusing right now and she just wanted things explained to her.

Twenty minutes later and Jude had fallen asleep as the night chill began to creep into the wind. Jude shivered in her sleep and he pressed the button to close the car's roof to keep her warm. He didn't mind the chill in the night air so much but he wanted to keep her as comfortable as possible. He turned on the radio and let the music softly fill the car. He smiled and sang along quietly so as not to wake the sleeping Jude. The car slid past a sign indicating that their destination was a few miles away. They'd be there in five minutes tops. Sure enough a few minutes later he pulled up outside the building and gently shook Jude awake. "We're here Jude, c'mon wake up sleepy-head. There'll be plenty of time for sleep." Jude rubbed sleep away from her eyes and then sat up straight as she took in the building in front of them.

"Why are we here?" She asked terrified now as she warily watched him get out of the car and walk round to her side. He opened the door and offered her his hand again. She shakily accepted and repeated her question.

"I thought it was time for a little vacation." He supplied by way of answer before gently leading her towards the airport's entrance.

"I cannot believe you booked two first class seats for California. This is amazing. What made you think I'd come?"

He shrugged. "I took a chance, I didn't know if you'd come or not after what happened the other day." He admitted sheepishly. There was a moment's awkward silence before he rose from his seat. "I'm gonna get a coffee or something. You want anything?" She shook her head at him and watched as he walked away.

As he queued for his coffee his cell phone went off. He looked at the caller ID and, upon seeing it was Darius, took the call. "Hey Darius…yeah, yeah she came with me…I know I didn't know if she would either…I promise I won't hurt her…yes I know she's been through a lot of stuff…look Darius I know you see me as a kid but just trust me okay? Right thanks, look I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." He paid for his coffee and made his way back to Jude. She was idly flicking through a magazine someone had left behind and smiling at an old interview she'd given, back before Tommy and Kat had come back; before Jamie left; and before Speid kissed her. Back before everything in her just-settled life had shifted again so dramatically as it was prone to doing in her life. She looked up from the interview and smiled at him as he handed her a cup of hot chocolate. "I know you said you didn't want anything but I thought I would anyway."

Jude smiled and took a sip of the hot chocolate. "Mmmm just how I like it. Thanks." He smiled back at her and checked his watch. He opened his mouth to speak but the loud speaker burst into life announcing that their flight was boarding. He rose from his seat and helped Jude up from hers.

The flight attendant showed them to their seats and soon an airhostess was handing them complimentary drinks and a small chocolate. They both settled into their seats and did up their seatbelts ready for take off. Shortly after the plane was filled up and the pilot's voice filtered through the plane. "Ladies and gentlemen this is your pilot speaking. We are ready for take off if you could all please fasten your seatbelts until the light comes off." Those who hadn't already complied fastened their seat belts and the plane took off.

Before long Jude had fallen back asleep and her head had fallen onto his shoulder. She was murmuring in his sleep, some things louder than others. Speid's name was mentioned, so was Victoria Harrison's and so was Tommy's. Just before their flight was due to land one sentence Jude said in her sleep was spoken so loud and clear that he thought she was awake. "I love you Tommy."


	13. Chapter 13: Hope

He said nothing but stared at her in amazement. She'd said she loved Tommy. Okay so she was asleep when she said it, but surely if she didn't feel it then she wouldn't have said it. He closed his eyes and leaned back against his seat just as the pilot's voice filled the cabin awaking Jude. "Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. We are shortly due to land so could you please fasten your seatbelts once more until the aircraft has stopped and the seatbelt lights have gone out. Thank you for flying with us and we hope you've enjoyed your flight."

Once they'd got off the plane and hired a cab Jude realised they didn't have any luggage with them. "Erm not to ruin the amazing spontaneous-ness of this plan of yours…but what are we doing about clothes? I mean how long are we staying out here?"

He quickly glanced at her before returning his attention to the road. "We'll go shopping and buy some. You can sleep in either the clothes you have on now or an old shirt of mine. Darius said we could be out here for up to three weeks but its up to you when you want to go home…" He trailed off letting her absorb this information.

"So where are we staying?"

"In a house I have here. We're here now actually."

Jude gasped as they pulled up outside an old picturesque looking white stone cottage-mansion with what sounded like a lake running through the grounds. That or there was a mini waterfall nearby. He smiled at her amazement with the house and parked just outside the garage. He shut off the ignition and turned to her. "Do you want to have a look round alone or the guided tour?" He asked nervously.

"The guided tour of course. If I went by myself I'd get lost for days!" They both laughed and he began to lead her inside the house when Jude's cell burst into life. "Sorry one sec." Jude apologised as she dug her cell out of her pocket to answer. "Hello? Oh hey Speid…can we what? Sorry I can't hear you the connections bad here…yeah…yeah…oh Speid I'm sorry but I can't. I'm in California for a few weeks…with who? Tommy….look Speid don't start….yes I know…yes I do remember…Speid just leave it okay…yes…no…look Speid I don't know okay. We'll talk when I get back. Okay. Bye." Jude hung up and pocketed her cell turning to face Tommy who had moved away in order to give Jude some privacy.

Although he had tried not to he couldn't help but hear some parts of the conversation and guessed that Speid wasn't thrilled about Jude being here. Well tough, thought Tommy, because she was here and she'd chosen to be here. He walked back over to Jude, who was looking slightly annoyed, and offered her his arm. She smiled demurely at him and accepted his arm. Together they strolled around the house with Tommy keeping up a running commentary as Jude drunk in every tiny detail. Finally they reached the final room of the house, or rather the room Tommy had save 'til last. "…and this is the music room." He declared pushing open the double doors and allowing Jude to admire the room.

By far one of the largest rooms in the house the music room consisted of a grand piano, several guitars, a drum kit, a soundboard and a recording area. There was also several gold discs hanging up on the wall, plus signed photographs of Tommy with Boyz Attack and various other artists and groups. Along one wall was several bookshelves all filled with books and various pieces of manuscript, with two large slouchy armchairs in front of them by an open log fire. Jude walked over to the piano and ran her fingers along the ivory keys. "Tommy this room, it's amazing." She finally commented wandering over to the bookshelves and running her fingers along the spines of all the books, taking in their titles. Tommy smiled and indicated to one of the armchairs, inviting her to sit down. Once she had sat down and after Tommy had got a fire started Tommy went into the recording area and selected the right CD.

"And now Ms Harrison, I have one final surprise for you this evening."

"Oh really? And what would that be Tommy?" Questioned Jude slinging her legs over the arm of her chair and facing him as he put the CD in the player.

Tommy said nothing simply turned up the volume on the CD player and leaned against the table watching Jude as the music flooded out of the speakers.

**We've said goodbye, the taxi cab is waiting  
Now don't you cry, just one more kiss  
Before I have to go  
Hey girl I know the situation changed  
And so much is new but something in my life  
Remains the same cos  
**

**Everything changes but you  
We're a thousand miles apart  
But you know I love you  
Everything changes but you  
You know everything single day  
I'll be thinking about you**

The rumours true, you know that there've been others  
What can I do, I tell you baby they don't mean a thing  
Now girl don't go and throw our love away  
I'll be home soon back in your arms to hear you say that

Everything changes but you  
We're a thousand miles apart  
But you know I love you  
Everything changes but you  
You know everything single day  
I'll be thinking about you

Everything changes but you  
We're a thousand miles apart  
But I still love you (I do)  
Everything changes but you  
I'll spend everything single day  
Thinking about you

Though everything changes around us  
(Baby don't you cry)  
We will be the same as before, forever more

Everything changes but you  
We're a thousand miles apart  
And I still miss you baby  
Everything changes but you  
You know everything single day  
I'll be thinking about you

Everything changes but you  
I'll be thinking about you,  
Thinking about you  
Everything changes but you  
Cos you know I love you  
Know that I love you

Everything changes but you  
I'll be thinkin' about you,  
Thinking about you  
Everything changes but you

**I love you**

The CD ended and the room was silent. Tommy watched Jude, who looked torn between two emotions. Abruptly and without a word Jude rose from her chair and fled the room emitting a strangled sob as she did so. Tommy stared after her and sighed. He'd known that it was risky playing that to her but he felt he'd had to. He couldn't stand not having Jude anymore; it was time to fight back.

In her room Jude threw herself down on the bed and buried her face in the pillow. Why did he have to do that? She was just coming round to the idea of talking to him and using it to move on and then he went and played that song to her. Before she had been so set on what she had to do but now her emotions had flared up again, confusing matters once more. Jude hated to admit it but she did still love Tommy, but he'd still hurt her and he'd betrayed her. She had to move on for her own good. Jude glanced at the clock on the bedside table and saw it was half one in the morning. I may as well get some sleep she thought to herself as she wriggled around on the bed removing her shoes and jewellery before slipping under the covers and closing her eyes.

Several hours later Jude was thrashing around in bed still trying to get to sleep. She threw a frustrated look at the clock, glaring at its aluminous numbers as they informed her it was half past four in the morning. Jude sighed and threw back the covers. Maybe if she wrote something down the thoughts that had been buzzing through her head would stop allowing her to get some shut-eye. She softly padded down to the music room and prayed Tommy wasn't still in there. Luckily he had gone to bed long ago and the room was empty. She went straight to the bookcase and located a sheet of manuscript paper and some lined paper for lyrics. Taking a seat at the piano Jude wrote down her main thoughts and soon she was frantically scribbling as ideas poured from her mind to the paper in front of her. An hour later she was trying out various chords on one of the guitars in the corner and humming along to herself. Eventually she got the right chords and fashioned the melody line to fit her lyrics. Cleansed of her thoughts Jude set down the pencil and made her way back to bed. Sleep was calling her. By the time she finally collapsed into bed it was half past six in the morning and the sun was just rising on the other side of the house.

The dawn sun shone cheerfully through his window irritating Tommy. He'd forgotten that this bedroom was facing the side where the sun rose, damn sun he thought bitterly as he dragged himself out of bed knowing there was no point in trying to get anymore sleep. Not that he had been sleeping much anyway. He had just kept going through the night and wondering if he'd done the right thing with Jude. He just hoped he hadn't pushed her further away from him. He pulled on a shirt from the wardrobe and yesterday's jeans before making his way to the music room. He thought he'd heard guitar playing very faintly at about half five that morning and wondered if Jude was in the room. She wasn't in there but a sheet of manuscript paper and the accompanying lyrics were there. On the top right hand corner of the lyrics paper Jude had softly written his name in the margin. Tommy didn't know if that meant the song was for him, about him or that she had just been thinking about him. Feeling like he was invading her privacy but unable to help himself Tommy scanned through the lyrics Jude had written but a few hours earlier.

**Sentimental days in a misty clouded haze of a memory that now feels untrue.  
I used to feel disguised, now I leave the mask behind painting pictures that aren't so blue.  
The pages I've turned are the lessons I've learned.**

Somebody bring up the lights I want you to see. (Don't you feel sorry for me)  
My life turned around, but I'm still living my dreams.  
(Yes, it's true that I've been) Through it all.  
I've hit about a million walls.  
Welcome to my truth. I still love.  
Welcome to my truth. I still love.

Tangled in a web with a pain hard to forget.  
That was a time that I've now put to rest.  
Oh-oh, the pages I've turned are the lessons I've learned, oh.

Somebody bring up the lights I want you to see. (Don't you feel sorry for me)  
My life turned around, but I'm still living my dreams.  
(Yes, it's true that I've been) Through it all.  
I've hit about a million walls.  
Welcome to my truth. I still love.  
Welcome to my truth. I still love.

I still love. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.  
And you know that I still love. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sentimental days in a misty clouded haze of a memory that now feels untrue.

So, somebody bring up the lights I want you to see, ooooh. (Don't you feel sorry for me)  
My life turned around, but I'm still living my dreams.  
(Yes, it's true I've been) I've been through it all.  
I've hit about a million walls.  
Welcome to my truth. I still love

**  
Oh, somebody bring up the lights I want you to see, ooh. (Don't you feel sorry for me)  
My life turned around, but I'm still living my dreams.  
(Yes, it's true that I've been)  
I still, I still love.  
(Yes, it's true that I've been)  
I still, I still love.**

Well, thought Tommy, maybe there is hope after all.


	14. Chapter 14: Follow Your Heart

Half an hour later Tommy was sitting at the piano re-reading Jude's lyrics for what seemed to be the millionth time. He had no idea what they meant and every time he read them in the hope of understanding them he simply became more confused. Sure the lyrics could be about him, but what if they were about Speid? Tommy sighed and put the lyrics back where he found them before leaving the room in search of the kitchen. He hadn't been here for a while and he'd forgotten where it was. Luckily Tommy soon found the kitchen and had managed to figure out the oven in order to make a batch of pancakes. He put some on another plate and put them in the oven to keep warm for Jude.

Upstairs Jude still couldn't sleep properly. At about twenty past seven she completely gave up and made her way downstairs, still in yesterday's clothes. She followed the smell of pancakes in order to find the kitchen and froze in the doorway when she saw Tommy sitting there staring into space with an empty plate in front of him. "Morning" she murmured, awkwardly slipping past him to get to the fridge. She pulled open the door and inspected the contents, she was really avoiding meeting Tommy's eye after last night, before eventually selecting a cartoon of orange juice and pulling out the big bowl of fruit salad. As she located a bowl and spoon for her fruit salad Jude felt Tommy's eyes following her around the kitchen. She was determined not to bring up last night first, if he wanted to talk about it then fine but she wasn't going to start a conversation she didn't really want to have. Besides Tommy was the one who arranged all this so it was up to him to make the effort. As she slipped into a chair at the other end of the table in the middle of the kitchen Tommy rose from his chair and walked down to where she was sitting.

"This seat taken?"

"It's your house Quincy." Jude busied herself by looking round the kitchen. She was about to compliment Tommy on how he'd managed to make it look so good when he spoke.

"Jude about last night-"

"Tommy do we really have to talk about this now?"

"Yes we do Jude. You never want to talk about these things but for once you're gonna listen! That song last night I wrote while I was away. I wrote it about a month after I'd left. Do you really wanna know why I came here Jude? I came here because I knew I had to accept responsibility of the baby that had been caused by one stupid mistake. It was my responsibility to help and look after Kat away from the scrutiny of home. I'd just bought this house and I paid to fly her out here after I came here to furnish it. We didn't even talk the whole time we were here except polite conversation and arrangements for after the birth. Only one of us was meant to come back Jude, not both of us. Kat was going to stay here while I was going to come back. We agreed on that because Kat knew how much I love you and how much you love me. Or at least loved me. She felt guilty at having ruined our relationship and so she offered to stay here after I argued my point. I was going crazy without you. If you go through all those CDs in the music room every single song is about you. Or by you, I bought your music while I was out here because I missed hearing your voice and your songs, Jude your songs killed me because they were about how I'd hurt you but I still bought them and I still listened to them because it was you. And I know I was a jerk and an idiot and I hurt you, and I'm so sorry Jude." He paused. He reached over to her and took one of her hands. She finally looked at him and saw he was crying like she was. "Jude please, just give me another chance. I love you."

Jude sniffed and wiped away her tears shaking her head at him. "I don't know if I can Tommy."

"Do you still love me?"

"Tommy don't ask me that."

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes Tommy, yes I still love you."

"Then give me another chance, give us another chance."

"I don't know if I can Tommy, how can I trust you again after…after that?"

Tommy sighed and contemplated his answer briefly before replying. "I don't know Jude." He said honestly.

"Exactly." She stated sadly, pushing back her chair and leaving the kitchen. She located Tommy's keys and grabbed them from the side they were on. She needed to get away from the house for a little bit. Jude had heard the beach was nice here in California this time of year. She stuck the key in the ignition and pulled away from the house just in time to see Tommy chasing after the car yelling her name. Halfway down the driveway he ground to a halt, defeated. Jude wiped away another tear, turned on the radio and drove.

"Oh my God, Jude is that you? Where the hell have you been! Why didn't you call? Weren't you thinking at all? Have you any idea how worried I've been? Wait…Kwest no I will not ask about him…because I don't want to…fine…and have you seen Tommy because he hasn't been seen since you left…oh my gosh Jude you're with Tommy aren't you? Where are you?" Jude bit her lip to keep down her anger at Sadie's disapproval, she knew that Sadie was just worried about her and annoyed that she hadn't phoned earlier.

"I'm in California, Tommy brought me here for three weeks apparently. Darius was in on it too. They both planned it. Tommy is trying to win me back but I don't know if I can go back to him knowing what I know now about the reason he left. Or rather the reason he had to leave in the first place. I mean I love him so much Sadie but how do I know this won't happen again? Can I trust him? Should I trust him? And what about Speid because Speid kissed me the day I left and I don't know what to do about that because I like Speid, I mean he's a great guy but do I like him in that way? And will I be constantly comparing him to Tommy if I do give Speid a chance? Sadie pleeease help me!" Jude bent down and picked up a pebble from the few scattered around the shoreline. She rubbed her fingers over its smooth texture before skipping it out on the sea. At the other end of the line she heard Sadie sigh.

"Jude I don't know. Follow your heart."

"That's the problem Sades, my heart is confused. When I came here with Tommy I had it all sorted out in my mind: we were going to talk about everything and then I'd have my closure and move on, and give the whole thing with Speid a chance. But then last night when we got here Tommy played me this song and it was about how stupid he was and how he loved me, and then my emotions kicked in. And here I am. Lonely and confused, stuck in California for two weeks, five days and however many hours are left of this day."

"You could always come home Jude, Tommy can't exactly stop you. I'd come and get you if you want…"

"No thanks Sadie. I owe to myself to stick it out here. I need this no matter how weird it's gonna be." She sighed as she stared out to sea. "I'll phone you tomorrow. Love ya big sis."

"Love ya lil sis. Phone me if you change your mind, okay?"

"Yeah sure. Bye Sades." Jude closed her cell and sighed again. She sat down on the beach and pulled her knees close to her chest. She pulled off her shoes and socks and let the waves lap against her feet as she sat there contemplating things. She shouldn't have really taken Tommy's car like that. But she'd needed to get away from that house. When he mentioned Kat had been there, with their baby, she just couldn't stand it. Jude sighed and ran a hand through her hair as the sea wind whipped her face sending goosebumps running up her arms. She shivered and rubbed her hands up and down her arms trying to keep herself warm.

"Want a jacket?" She heard a familiar voice ask. She didn't feel like talking so she pretended not to have heard him, which could be believable given the roaring of the wind in her ears. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him sit down next to her. "Look I thought about it and I don't deserve your trust again, but I want to tell you that I've grown up. I was a stupid kid back then who made the most stupid mistake I will ever make no matter how long I live and it lost me you. I don't expect a miracle but you have to believe me when I tell you I love you Jude. You can hate me, and you can not trust me but you have to believe that."

"I know." She said in a tiny voice suddenly feeling very tired. She didn't want to fight but she still wanted to be alone, and she still needed to phone Speid. "Tommy look I'm sorry about taking the car I just needed to get away and the beach was too far to walk. You take the car and go back."

"What about you?"

"I'll get a cab. I just need some time by myself still, I need to phone Speid."

Tommy bit his lip, "What exactly is going on between you two?" He asked, dreading the answer.

"I honestly don't know right now. That's why I need to call him." Although he said nothing Tommy seemed to accept her answer. He kissed her on the cheek and took the car keys from her hand. She waited until she heard the car engine rev up and fade out as he drove off before dialling Speid's number. Something told her this would not be a fun phone call.


	15. Chapter 15: Time

"Jude? Jude is that you? Are you still in California…with _him_?"

"Speid don't be like that okay. Yes I'm still in California, with Tommy. Look Spied I know I said we'd talk when I got back but I need to talk to you now."

"Sounds heavy, go on…"

"What's going on with us Speid? I mean we barely knew each other two years ago, and then that summer we got close. Friend close, and you became one of my best friends along with Jamie. And now you're writing songs to me and making sure I'm okay with this whole Tommy thing and then with the kiss the other day…I'm confused Speid, so help me out."

"Jude you helped me get over Saffy's death that summer, just talking to you helped me move on. I was happy being your friend but just before _he_ came back I realised I wanted us to be more than friends. I realised I'd fallen for you and when I saw how Tommy was making you act I thought I was losing you to him. So I decided to fight back. I wrote that song, I made sure I was there when you were down and I made it clear to Tommy that someone else was around who wanted you, someone who cared about you and didn't want you to get hurt."

"Oh what so I'm just some prize between you two? He who fights the hardest wins fair Jude's heart. Is that what all this is?"

"No, no it's nothing like that Jude. I love you and I thought maybe if I tried hard enough I could make you see that, I thought I had with that kiss. But now you're in California with him…" Jude fell back onto the sand and closed her eyes, why couldn't she just have a nice simple life? He sounded so dejected when he said that last sentence. How could she tell him she needed space?

"Speid I…"

"Jude it's okay, I know what you're gonna say."

"You do?"

"Yeah, you're giving Tommy another chance. You're sorry and I'm a great guy but you think that things could really work out with you and Tommy and he seems really sorry so you want to give it another shot."

"Speid I don't know if I'm giving Tommy another chance…" Jude knew she had to word things carefully so as not to give him false hope.

"So you're choosing me?" But apparently Spied had lots of false hope anyway.

"No. Well actually I don't know. Look Speid I just need some space to clear my head and think everything through. I honestly don't know what I want, I need time."

"Oh," Speid tried to sound positive, "but there's still a chance?"

"I don't know Speid. I gotta go, I'll speak to you later okay?" Jude ended the call and contemplated throwing her cell into the sea. Then she could dye her hair, maybe have some plastic surgery and move to another country. Obviously she'd have to change her name as well. But Jude knew she couldn't do that to Sadie, not after their parents pulling the greatest disappearing act of all time. She sat up and watched the waves as the tide went out. There was something about watching the sea that calmed her to the core and helped her sort out her thoughts, and her feelings. She knew deep down that what Speid had said was true; she was likely to choose Tommy because even though Speid was a great guy and she did have some feelings for him, for the most part she still loved Tommy. She probably always would, he was her first love.

_Back at G Major_

Speid hung up the phone looking utterly dejected. Kyle and Wally assumed it was bad news and Kyle patted him on the shoulder in an attempt to be comforting while Wally silently went to get Speid's guitar. Speid took the guitar and the trio made their way to the studio. Kwest set up everything and let them jam for a while. Eventually Kwest stopped them. "Hey Speid sing that line again. The one about never getting him out of your head."

Speid nodded and repeated the whole phrase he'd sung. Kwest came into the recording booth with them and together they managed to make up a whole new song, which Kwest declared would be their next single. Kwest went back into the sound booth and set up to record.

**Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything  
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about  
And that's what you get for falling again  
You can never get him out of your head  
And that's what you get for falling again  
You can never get him out of your head**

It's the way  
That he makes you feel  
It's the way  
That he kisses you  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love

She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and  
Her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men  
And that's what you get for falling again  
You can never get 'em out of your head  
And that's what you get for falling again  
You can never get 'em out of your head

It's the way  
That he makes you feel  
It's the way  
That he kisses you  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love

It's the way  
That he makes you feel  
It's the way  
That he kisses you  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love  
Love

Pretty girl, pretty girl

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything  
Pretty soon she'll figure out  
You can never get him out of your head

It's the way  
That he makes you cry  
It's the way  
That he's in your mind  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love

It's the way  
That he makes you feel  
It's the way  
That he kisses you  
It's the way  
That he makes you fall in love  
Love

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything  
Pretty soon she'll figure out  
You can never get him out of your head

The guys set down their instruments and headed out of G Major. There was a party that night and Kyle and Wally had persuaded Speid to come with them in an attempt to get his mind off Jude.

_At a little corner café_

Sadie sat down opposite Kat giving the girl a frost look as she did so. "Why did you call me?" She demanded after ordering a drink from the attentive waiter. Sadie folded her arms and raised an eyebrow as she awaited Kat's response.

"I need to talk to Jude but she won't answer my calls…"

"Understandable given the circumstances." Shot Sadie, Kat winced and carried on.

"I really need to talk to her, to make her see that it was a really bad mistake and I know I should have stayed away but I came back because I missed my best friend and wanted to salvage any chance of having her friendship back. Both Tommy and I messed up but we both want Jude's forgiveness. Why is she so fine with working with him and yet not talking to me?" Kat stirred her coffee vigorously as Sadie contemplated how to answer. Should she tell Kat that Jude had gone to California, quite willingly it seemed, with Tommy?

"She's not here at the moment. She's flown out to California." Sadie left it at that and took a sip of her own drink. Let Kat make of it what she will, thought Sadie, I'm not going to get involved any more than I have to. All I care about is protecting my baby sister, even if I don't agree with some of the things she does.

"With Tommy I presume." Kat pondered aloud, Sadie hesitated a moment before nodding. Kat sighed. "This is what I mean. She refuses point blank to talk to me, and yet she's flying off to California quite willingly with him. It's double standards. Why does he deserve her forgiveness more than I do?" She challenged Sadie, more hurt than angry.

"Because Jude loves Tommy and I think she'd rather work things out with Tommy and blame you than forgive you and Tommy but not regain what she had with Tommy. I think that in time she might well forgive you, but you have to wait. She's hurt at both of you but Tommy comes first in her priorities. She's confused and is trying to figure out what she wants. Give her time and let her make her mind up about things. She's out there for three weeks, wait until she comes back before trying to call her again and see what happens then. Maybe by then she'll have a clearer perspective about what she wants."

Kat nodded and pulled out her purse. She selected the right amount of money for their drinks and paid before pushing her chair back and leaving. "I have to get back, Charlie gets out of playschool soon and I need to be there to pick him up. Thanks for coming here today Sadie. It means a lot to me." Sadie nodded and forced a smile at the young girl as she departed, allowing it to slip from her face once Kat had disappeared round the corner. For some reason Sadie couldn't bring herself to trust Kat. Sadie finished her own drink and left the café, heading in the opposite direction to Kat.


	16. Chapter 16: Remember that time?

Tommy was waiting for her when she got back. Jude saw his shadow through the glass front door before he'd seen her. Jude made sure that any signs of her earlier tears had gone before taking a deep breath and pushing open the door. "Hey, can we talk?" He asked striding up to her the moment she stepped inside. Jude shook her head and pushed the door shut with her foot before facing Tommy fully.

"Please Tommy not now, I know we need to talk but I'm tired of talking right now. All I want to do is go get some more clothes and stuff because if I'm staying here for three weeks I'm going to need it." Tommy's eyes flashed hopefully.

"So you're staying?" He double-checked. Jude nodded and wandered off in the direction of the music room. Tommy decided it was the best thing to just leave her for now. He figured the phone call to Speid hadn't gone so well and she needed to vent with a song.

Jude considered things as she hurried to the solace of the music room so she could lock out the world. Tommy said he still loved her and wanted to try again, Speid said he loved her and wanted to be with her. She had a choice to make and she didn't know who she would choose. She still had so many questions she wanted to ask Tommy before she could even begin to move on, but she was too afraid to ask them to his face. Back at the beach she'd been struck by an idea and had managed to hail a cab to bring her back to the house whilst maintaining her idea. She leafed through the paper stack to find a notepad of some sorts. She pulled it out from the bottom of the pile where it was and flipped open the cover, she selected a pen from the desk in a corner, sat down at the piano and began to write.

**Remember that time you said you loved me?**

**I told you I loved you too**

**But that was before**

**Before all this**

**Now I wonder was there truth in your kiss?**

**There was truth in mine**

**But how do I know**

**What's real when I thought we were?**

**You lied to me and stole my trust**

**All for that one night of lust**

**Every girl has her soulmate**

**Their knight in white armour**

**I thought you were mine**

**But a soulmate has to have a soul**

**And a knight needs shining armour**

**When you left me that day**

**I cried a river of tears**

**And promised to wait for you**

**And wait I did**

**For two long years**

**And then you came back**

**And I realised my worst fears**

**Remember that time you said you loved me**

**I told you I loved you too**

**But that was before**

**Before all this**

**Now I wonder was there truth in your kiss?**

**Now you say that you still love me**

**That since you left you were in misery**

**And that one night was just a mistake**

**You were just a kid who couldn't say no**

**But that's all it takes to make a mistake**

**And now I don't know what to believe**

**Remember that time you said you loved me**

**I told you I loved you too**

**But that was before**

**Before all this**

**Now I wonder was there truth in your kiss?**

**See since you've been gone**

**I've met someone**

**Who brings some sunshine**

**Into my life**

**Like you once did**

**And now my emotions are in a mess**

**I don't know what to do**

**Because I think I love him**

**But I love you too**

**Remember that time you said you loved me**

**I told you I loved you too**

**But that was before**

**Before all this**

**Now I wonder was there truth in your kiss?**

**I have to choose, I know that**

**Because I can only have one soulmate**

**But I don't know who is mine**

**The missing piece of my puzzle**

**The star to shine in my sky**

**I need some help to figure it out**

**So please just tell me this**

**You said you loved me, is it still true?**

**What would you say if I said I still loved you?**

**Are you prepared to try again**

**To see if we still have what we had back then?**

**And I still need an answer to just one thing:**

**Was there ever truth in your kiss?**

Tommy leaned against the wall outside the music room and slowly banged his head against the wall repeatedly. "There was Jude, believe me there was…" He whispered to her unheard before leaving as silently as he'd arrived.


	17. Chapter 17: Way Back Into Love

Over the next week Tommy gradually managed to get Jude to spend more time with him and to talk to him more freely. During the second week they were talking properly and acting like they used to. Jude had put all thoughts of Speid, Kat and Jamie to the back of her mind and was focused on her relationship with Tommy. She didn't know what was going to happen when they got back home but for now she was just enjoying being with Tommy. They had also taken to retreating into the music room most nights and impulsively writing new songs.

After dinner that night as usual the pair ventured into the music room and Jude decided to make their usual light songs take a more serious topic. She felt the need to let Tommy know that for some reason she couldn't forget the past and move on. She lifted up the lid of the piano and began to play a melody line, glanced at Tommy and began to sing.

**Jude:   
I've been living with a shadow over head  
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed  
I've been lonely for so long  
Trapped in the past, I just cant seem to move on  
**

Tommy had also planned to turn their songs into something more serious, perhaps addressing the Kat situation, which was one thing they didn't talk about. So as Jude confessed to him, he too confessed to her.

**  
Tommy:   
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away  
Just in case I ever need them again someday  
I've been sitting aside time**

**To clear a little space in the corners of my mind  
**

Jude kept playing the piano line and Tommy ventured closer to the piano until he was standing next to the piano stool upon which Jude was sitting. She nodded at the stool and moved up slightly, indicating Tommy should sit down.

**  
Both:   
All I want to do is find a way back into love  
I can't make it through without a way back into love**

Jude:  
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine  
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs  
I know that its out there  
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere  


Tommy kept his eyes forward but out of the corner of his vision he could have sworn Jude had been eyeballing him when she sung that line. Did she mean him?

**  
Tommy:   
I've been looking for someone to shed some light  
Not just somebody to get me through the night  
I could use some direction**

**And I'm open to your suggestions  
**

Jude blushed as Tommy turned his almost hypnotizing gaze to her but somehow she managed to keep on playing. She noted the symbolism of the line about not just somebody to get him through the night. Did he mean Kat? Was he referring to that or was it just her over analysing things as she was prone to doing?

**  
Both:   
All I want to do is find a way back into love  
I can't make it through without a way back into love  
and If I open my heart to again  
I guess I'm hopin' you'll be there for me in the end **

Jude:  
There are moments that I don't know if its real  
or if anybody feels the way I feel  
I need inspiration

**Not just another negotiation **

Now Tommy felt the full force of Jude's beautiful gaze as she turned hers to him as he had turned his to hers, what was she trying to say to him now? Was she saying she wanted to give it a go but wasn't sure if she was being swept up in nostalgia? Why did she doubt him so much anyway?

**  
Both:   
All I want to do is find a way back into love  
I can't make it through without a way back into love  
and If I open my heart to again  
I guess I'm hopin' you'll be there for me in the end**

_Later on that evening_

Tommy threw another log onto the dying fire and settled back down into his armchair as they watched the fire roar back into life. After so much treading on eggshells they'd finally talked about everything. They hadn't held back and there'd been raw emotion shared between them. They'd been honest, they'd yelled, they'd laughed and they'd cried. In fact they'd cried lots. And now they had been sitting in silence for the past half an hour. Tommy glanced at the clock before turning to Jude and saying what he'd wanted to say all along. "So, what happens now?"

"I…I don't know Tommy. I mean -" Jude was cut off by her cell vibrating in her pocket. Squirming in her seat Jude pulled out her cell and checked caller ID before answering. "Sadie, hey what's up?" Something had to be wrong, Sadie never phoned as late as this. Sadie choked out something incoherent through her tears and Jude frowned. "Sadie what was that I can't hear you properly. No Sadie calm down, take some deep breaths…good now take another one. Okay? Great, now try again."

This time Jude heard her loud and clear. "Kat's dead."


	18. Chapter 18: Don't Speak

Jude's eyes widened in shock before the tears came. Tommy rushed over to her side and took the cell from Jude, allowing her to lean into him as her body wracked with sobs. "Hello, Sadie what is it?" Tommy froze as Sadie choked out the news a third time, instinctively he wrapped his arm tighter around Jude and closed his eyes before he realised that Sadie had hung up. He shut Jude's cell and placed it on the floor beside her chair. He shifted slightly and wrapped both of his strong arms around Jude, holding her close as she sobbed bitterly for the friend she had lost, found again, lost again and was coming close to finding again before having her wrenched from her life. Tommy knew that this would change everything between them, and even then it would change his own life forever.

Jude felt Tommy's arms wrap themselves around her but still felt detached from the scene. She couldn't believe that Kat was gone. Jude had finally accepted all that had happened in the past and had been planning on returning Kat's calls the next day to make peace and talk things through. And now she was gone. Jude clung to Tommy, as she would have done two years ago, and allowed her emotions to overpower her.

The next morning Tommy woke first. He wiped away the sleep from his eyes as he recalled last night's events. After that phone call Jude had cried solidly for an hour blaming herself. Tommy had finally persuaded her that it hadn't been her fault when Jude changed tack and announced her guilt at ignoring Kat's calls for so long and now she was never going to see her again. Tommy had sat on the floor in front of Jude for three hours without complaint just listening to her as she talked through her initial grief and guilt, and holding her as she cried. Jude had eventually fallen asleep and Tommy had retreated to his own chair, reluctant to leave Jude. Now Tommy picked up the blanket he had placed over Jude's sleeping body from where it had fallen overnight and placed it back over her before leaving the room to get changed.

Jude thought she felt someone placing something on her and woke up; she saw Tommy leaving the room and glanced down where she saw that he'd placed a blanket on her. She smiled sadly to herself; it had taken a death to get them to have physical contact and break down the walls that each one had built up, and kept up during their previous conversations. Jude sat up rubbing away a slight crick in her neck and padded upstairs to her room to find some different clothes, yesterday's outfit stunk of grief and regret.

Later on that day after hiding away in her bedroom all morning Jude finally came downstairs. She went straight to the music room and took up her usual seat in an armchair by the fireplace. She picked up her notepad that was now kept by the side of the armchair and the pen that was beside it. After spending ten minutes doodling Jude saw Tommy appear in the doorway out of the corner of her eye. He opened his mouth to say something but she stopped him. "Tommy please, I don't want to speak to anyone now. I know what you're going to say but I don't want to hear it."

"Jude I know how she died."

"Tommy, stop it! Stop talking about it so calmly! I don't want to know. It hurts too much. Please just, just let me be for a while. I need to be alone a bit longer." Tommy sighed but did as she wished and Jude lost herself in her thoughts once more. Her and Kat, they used to be together every day for seventeen years. When Kat had moved away so soon after Tommy's departure Jude had felt like she was losing her best friend, and now she was dead. None of it felt real and yet she knew it was. It just hurt too much for her to imagine that it was the end of Kat's life and any chance of salvaging their friendship. Jude wiped away at the fresh tears and began to write.

**You and me  
We used to be together  
Everyday together always  
I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end  
It looks as though you're letting go  
And if it's real  
Well I don't want to know  
**

Jude did want to know; she knew she had to know about what had happened, she just didn't want to know the details right now. She needed to grieve for the loss of someone she'd lost long ago, and lost the chance of finding again.

**  
Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining   
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
**

**Our memories  
Well, they can be inviting  
But some are altogether   
Mighty frightening  
As we die, both you and I  
With my head in my hands  
I sit and cry  
**

Jude felt a fresh fall of tears run down her face as the memories of her and Kat ran through her mind. Her best friend. Okay so the whole Tommy fiasco had kind of been a massive strike against her otherwise faultless character but Kat had still been Jude's best friend, no matter what Jude had said.

**  
Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons   
Don't tell me cause it hurts**

It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are...  
You and me I can see us dying...are we?  


Jude already knew the answer to that one, Kat was dead and Jude felt like she was dying. Jude knew she had to make her mind up about everything before she lost anyone else. Jamie had gone to England, her parents had both disappeared, and now Kat was dead. If she wasn't careful she'd end up losing Tommy and Speid too, or maybe Sadie and Kwest. She had to act now.

**  
Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons   
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't tell me cause it hurts!  
I know what you're saying  
So please stop explaining**

Don't speak,  
don't speak,  
don't speak,  
oh I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
I know you're good,  
I know you're good,  
I know you're real good  
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la  
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'   
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush  
Don't tell me tell me cause it hurts  
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'  
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Jude set down the notepad and went to find Tommy. It was time to face up to the truth no matter how much it would hurt her. She couldn't grieve properly until she knew everything.


	19. Chapter 19: The Accident

"Are you sure?" Tommy had to double check with Jude; surely she wasn't being serious what with everything that had happened. Maybe he just blanked out what she'd really said and replaced it with what he thought he'd just heard. Jude nodded looking deadly serious. Tommy sighed, took her by the hand and gently led her to the sofa, sitting down and pulling her down next to him. Not letting go of her hand Tommy begun to tell Jude everything.

"She had just had lunch with Sadie. Sadie said that Kat had called her asking for help about how to make it up to you, how to talk to you because you weren't answering her calls. She seemed really happy according to Sadie. She'd gone to pick up Charlie from somewhere I can't remember where from...anyway she picked up Charlie and left him with a babysitter. Then she took the car and was apparently driving to the airport, the police found her passport and this address in her bag at the scene of the crash. They think there's a chance she may have been drunk because witnesses say that the car was swerving quite a lot. Either that or really upset. It doesn't really matter which one anyway because whatever one it was she wasn't paying proper attention to the road. She didn't see the car coming into the lane in front of her car and she swerved to avoid hitting him when she couldn't brake in time. She went of the side of the road and her car rolled down the hill. Apparently the person who pulled in front of her pulled over and raced down to try and help her but he smelt gas and slowed down to call emergency services. He was on the phone to them when the car exploded, with her still in it. They only found her bag when they walked down the hill to treat the man who tried to help her for shock."

Tommy looked at Jude to see how she was taking this. She'd become pale and looked numbingly shocked, although she was also silently crying. Her eyes were distant as she imagined the scene and tried to imagine what was going through Kat's mind as she swerved, as she rolled down the hill, as the car stopped rolling down the hill and settled, and if she wasn't already dead then what she thought and how she felt when she smelt the gas. Did she think she was going to die? Was she scared? Did she call out for help? Did she cry? Jude prayed that Kat hadn't gone through too much pain, maybe she'd blacked out as the car rolled down the hill. That would be slightly easier for her to come to terms with rather than seeing her best friend sitting helpless and trapped in a car that was about to explode any second. Jude shivered and felt Tommy slip his arm around her. She leant into his embrace and let the tears fall. Tommy tightened his grip on her and rubbed her back as she sobbed in his arms. He knew there was nothing he could say to make this any easier. All he could do was hold her.


	20. Chapter 20: Heading Home

A few days later Sadie flew out to California to pick up Jude. Tommy had gone out to the shops to buy some more food for them when Sadie pulled up outside the house in a hire car. Jude heard the car horn and hurried as she finished writing a note of sorts to Tommy. Knowing he'd look for her in the music room when she got back she quickly ran there and placed the pieces of paper on the piano stool before she picked up her bags took one final look at the house and shut the door behind her. Sadie got out of the car to hug her younger sister and help her with her things. "Are you sure you want to leave Jude?" Sadie questioned the silent girl as she loaded her bags into the boot. Jude just nodded and fell into the passenger seat, switched on the radio and turned it off when a Boyz Attack song came on. Sadie shrugged her shoulders and slipped in to the driver's seat, started the car and pulled out of Tommy's driveway.

The drive back to the airport was silent, neither sister wanted to talk much and both had things to think about. When they pulled up outside the airport Sadie turned to Jude. "Tommy doesn't know you're leaving does he?" She asked gently, seeing the build up of tears in Jude's eyes. Jude nodded and wiped frantically at her eyes as they released tears onto her face. Sadie leaned over and hugged her sister where they stayed for several moments. As they headed into the airport Jude's cell sprung into life, she looked at the caller ID and her shoulders sagged. Tommy had arrived home and found her note, he must have guessed they wouldn't be out of California yet and decided to try and get her to stay. She cut off his call and switched of her cell. For once in her life Jude was going to go through with something, even if she did have more doubts than ever.

Back at the house Tommy swore as his call was cut off. When he tried again a pre-recorded message told him that Jude's phone was switched off. He punched the wall and swore again as pain shot through his fist. Spinning on his heel and dialling as he walked Tommy got back in his car and drove to the airport. There was still a chance he could catch them.

"Our flight's boarding Jude, lets go." Sadie prodded her sister from her trance and led her towards the gateway. Ever since they'd left the house Jude had been acting like a zombie, Sadie was worried about her but whenever she questioned her sister Jude had insisted she was fine. Sadie had also caught her discretely smelling the collar of her shirt and looking wistful as she fingered the hem. Not wanting to pry Sadie kept quiet and busied herself reading the magazine she had bought from the airport shop.

Jude could still catch slight whiffs of Tommy's natural smell on her shirt and each time she did she felt like crying. Truthfully Jude did need time to herself, and she had explained to Tommy in her note that it wasn't because of him she was leaving. She had to straighten out some things in her mind alone before she could even begin to consider making a choice about Tommy and Speid. Jude also didn't trust herself not to take things too far with Tommy before she was fully sure of it, she didn't want to make a mistake like that and end up hating Tommy. Jude smiled wistfully to herself as she remembered an event a year after her and Tommy had started dating.

_Jude's Flashback_

"_So you two are dating now?" Asked a fan who had cornered Tommy and Jude while they were on a date. The girl was one of what the guys called a Boyz Attacker, one of their groupies basically, and Jude was amazed that the young girl seemed to be capable of stringing together a coherent sentence when usually the girls who approached Tommy just giggled manically and babbled. Tommy smiled at the girl and slipped an arm around Jude's waist. Jude smiled and snuggled up to him. _

"_We sure are, have been for a year now." Tommy grinned down at Jude and pecked her on the lips. Jude beamed back at him and felt a rush of love for Tommy. He always handled situations like this so well, he knew that he had to respect his fans and be nice but he never neglected the people he was with when he got approached. Also Jude liked that he didn't flaunt their relationship to everybody, he was like her and liked to keep it as personal as possible. _

_The Boyz Attacker sighed and turned to Jude. "You are so lucky! Congratulations about y'know the whole year together thing." Jude flashed the girl a genuine smile, usually when girls found out about her relationship with Tommy they'd shoot her dirty looks and throw themselves at Tommy, who always acted embarrassed. Jude willingly stood to one side as the girl posed with Tommy and her friend took a picture on a camera. The girl and her friend waved at them as they left the restaurant a few minutes later. It had all seemed so perfect back then, like a fairytale._

But fairytales don't always have happy endings, thought Jude bitterly as they finally took off, I can verify that. She unravelled her earphones from her pocket and shoved them in her ears, drowning out reality with her music, and stared out the small plane window into the night sky. Jude wondered if Tommy would come back to G Major again, or would he stay in California for good this time?

Back at the airport Tommy let out an exasperated sigh as the girl at the information desk informed him Jude's flight had already taken off. "When does the next flight leave?" He pleaded, knowing and not caring that he sounded desperate. The girl ran some checks and told him that the next flight was at 3am, and still had a few seats left. "I'd like to book a seat on that flight please." He handed the girl his credit card and raced back to the house to pack a small bag. He wasn't letting Jude go, not this time.

Back at the house it occurred to Tommy that Jude may have left him a note somewhere, he knew the music room was the most probable place as it had become their base in the evenings and quite often the early mornings. Sure enough Tommy found Jude's note on the piano stool. Along with her note Jude had left him a song. Tommy read it and found that he was crying, despite feeling utterly detached from the situation.

_Tommy,_

_I'm sorry to take off like this but I don't think I can stay here any longer. I need to be at home; I need to be with Sadie; I need to visit Kat's family; I need to phone Jamie; I need to be at G Major; I need all the familiar stuff that makes me feel safe. I'm sorry to be leaving here, or rather leaving you. However I worry that if I stay one of us will do or say something we'll regret, most likely this will be me. Anyway please don't think it's because of you I'm leaving, because its not. I love you Tom Quincy, I loved you before you were Lil Tommy Q, I loved you whilst you were Lil Tommy Q and I'll probably always love you. First love never fades, that's what they say isn't it? _

_I know that I have to make a choice between you and Speid, not just for you two but for myself as well. The thing is I have to have some time to myself to figure it out. I thought I'd have that here, which is partly why I came with you in the first place. But old emotions kept stirring up and I would be caught up by nostalgia whenever I tried to do any thinking._

_So please, don't blame yourself because this has nothing to do with you. I need to straighten things out in my mind. Of course I'll miss you, assuming you're staying in California for the rest of the time if not for longer, but this is something I need to do; even if I have to take baby steps to reach the ending. Also, this time by myself thinking- that's what it has to be. I'll be saying this to Speid as well, don't hassle me to make a decision or anything. You know what I'm like when I'm pushed to make a decision Quincy, I'll just pick at random. And I can't do that, there's hearts on the line and I don't want to destroy any of them. Although I suppose I'll be destroying one of them, but you know what I mean._

_I'll see you back at G Major maybe?_

_Love always_

_Jude_

_XxX_

**Da Da Da Da  
The smell of your skin lingers on me now  
You're probably on your flight back to your home town  
I need some shelter of my own protection baby  
To be with myself and centre, clarity  
Peace, Serenity**

I hope you know, I hope you know  
That this has nothing to do with you  
It's personal, myself and I  
We've got some straightenin' out to do  
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket  
But I've got to get a move on with my life  
It's time to be a big girl now  
And big girls don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking  
I must go alone  
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown  
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?  
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know  
That this has nothing to do with you  
It's personal, myself and I  
We've got some straightenin' out to do  
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket  
But I've got to get a move on with my life  
It's time to be a big girl now  
And big girls don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry  
Like the little school mate in the school yard  
We'll play jacks and Uno cards  
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine  
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to  
'Cause I want to hold yours too  
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds  
But it's time for me to go home  
It's getting late, dark outside  
I need to be with myself and centre, clarity  
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know  
That this has nothing to do with you  
It's personal, myself and I  
We've got some straightenin' out to do  
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket  
But I've got to get a move on with my life  
It's time to be a big girl now  
And big girls don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry  
Don't cry  
La Da Da Da Da Da

Tommy sighed and folded the pieces of paper so they'd fit in his pocket. He scanned the room for anything he'd take with him back home before leaving the room and locking the door behind him, trapping in his memories with Jude. He had some packing to do.


	21. Chapter 21: Choices

"Jude you're back! I thought you were staying out there for another week?" Jude had been prepared for this response when she first walked into G Major since returning from California, minus Tommy. What she hadn't been expecting was her annoyance at the question, and at Speid himself as he bounded up to her expectantly.

"I missed home, and I wanted to be here after what happened." Jude stated calmly, brushing past Speid to greet Kwest who hadn't been in by the time Sadie and Jude arrived in the early hours of that morning. As the pair embraced Jude saw Kwest slink away looking utterly dejected and felt a pang of guilt. "So," she tried to sound bubbly "back in the studio? I have new material…" Kwest caught Darius' eye and the pair communicated silently that being in the studio would be best for Jude. The two men knew that when something was going wrong Jude would lose herself in her music and work herself to a point of exhaustion rather than face what was happening. Kwest nodded and followed Jude into the studio to start setting up ready for recording as Jude went through her notebook of stuff she'd written in California for her next song.

Half an hour later Jude couldn't decide. Frustrated she threw her notebook across the room, narrowly missing Kwest as he entered the room with coffee for them both. Kwest handed Jude her coffee and retrieved the notebook from the corner of the room where it had landed. "Mind if I take a look?" He asked her, Jude took a sip of her coffee and nodded absently. Silence fell as the pair drunk their coffee and Kwest sifted through the notebook. Ten minutes later Kwest shut the notebook and handed it back to Jude looking confused. "Jude these are all brilliant, what's the problem?"

"That's the problem Kwest! I can't choose what one to record for my next single; I can only choose one right? Why do I always have to choose between things, and why can't I ever make my mind up!" Jude wasn't just talking about her music now, she was talking about Speid and Tommy as well, not that Kwest knew this.

"I have an idea, why don't we record them all? There's enough material in there for a whole new album, and if there's any you don't like once we've recorded them we can scrap it. How does that sound?" Kwest suggested calmly, sensing that Jude was quite close to tears and would leak if he didn't help her solve the situation. Jude nodded and Kwest sighed in relief. "Okay so pick your favourite one and we'll start with that."

"But I have two favourites, how do I choose between the two most favourite ones Kwest? How do I know if I make the right choice?" Jude knew that it didn't matter what one she recorded first but maybe Kwest could help her, unwittingly of course because Jude wouldn't dream of discussing this with him, make her decision between Tommy and Speid.

"Simple Jude, you pick the one you love the most. Go with your gut instinct." Kwest pointed at the notebook in Jude's hands. "So what song are we recording first?"

Jude flicked through the pages of her notebook until she came upon the right song. She'd written it after she found out exactly how Kat had died. It was her guilt song. Kat's death had been her fault; no matter what anybody said Kat had died coming to see Jude after Jude had pushed her away. If she hadn't have been driving to the airport it wouldn't have happened. Jude hadn't told anybody how guilty she was feeling, she knew that they'd lie to her and say it wasn't her fault. They'd tell her it was "just one of those things, it could have happened to anybody and it's nobody's fault." So, as usual, Jude had poured her feelings into a song and hoped that with time she'd feel less guilty, or at least learn to live with the guilt she felt. It was so draining, at times Jude just wanted someone to be there for her and hold her. Like Tommy had when he'd told her about Kat in the first place. But she was scared around Tommy, he didn't scare her but the overwhelming strength of her feelings for Tommy did. So she ran away, she tried to leave behind the feelings that made her so scared but they had followed her. And now she had hurt herself even more, because she'd left Tommy.

**Help, I have done it again  
I have been here many times before  
Hurt myself again today  
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame**

Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
and needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again  
Lost myself and I am nowhere else to be found,  
Yeah I think that I might break  
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
and needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me

Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
and needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me

Kwest watched Jude as she sung, he knew she wouldn't want to tell him anything but he wondered if something had happened whilst she was in California, maybe something with Tommy had happened. Kwest nodded at Speid as he slipped in the room, having seen Jude singing. Speid took a space next to Kwest and watched Jude as she sung. She'd completely brushed him off earlier but he was still hopeful. The fact that she'd come back had to be a good thing, right?

Across town Tommy ran from the airport, clutching his hand luggage and a small holdall, and hailed a taxi. "G Major studios please." He requested breathlessly. He had to see Jude, he knew she said she wanted space but he still knew deep down that Jude was reacting badly to Kat's death and he was worried about her. He'd respect what she'd asked of him, but he'd feel better if he was there should Jude need him. Tommy knew that Jude might not talk to him, or even acknowledge him, but he was prepared to wait for her just like she'd promised to wait for him. Tommy still lived in hope that she still remembered her promise and would give him another chance.


	22. Chapter 22: Introducing, Elaine Pearsons

"That was great Jude! Perfect take, you can have a break before we move on if you want." Jude smiled at Kwest and shook her head; Kwest must have understood that something was going on between Speid and herself, hence the casual offer of giving Jude a chance to speak to Speid. Luckily Speid hadn't picked up on the subliminal message behind it and kept on watching Jude as if she was some enthralling movie. Jude turned the page of her notebook, picked up her guitar again and secured the headphones over her ears once more. Kwest shrugged and flipped the recording switch. Speid sat motionless, mesmerised as Jude's voice began to fill the room.

**I don't know what I want  
So don't ask me cause I'm still trying to figure it out  
Don't know what's down this road  
I'm just walking trying to see through the rain coming down  
Even though I'm not the only one who feels the way I do**

I'm alone, on my own and I'm starting off  
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh, but life goes on  
Oh, I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world  


The cab pulled up outside G Major and Tommy hastily handed the cabbie the fare telling him to keep any change there was. He ran up to the doors but hesitated as he reached out to open them. Calm down Quincy, he told himself; don't act so desperate; it'll only push her away. He took a deep breath and pulled open the doors to G Major. Instantly he was assaulted by Jude's voice drifting out of a nearby studio. Tommy resisted the urge to run straight into the studio and proclaim his true feelings for Jude, damning all consequences, and headed for Darius' office.

**  
Got the radio on, my old blue jeans  
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve  
Feeling luck today, got the sunshine  
Can you tell me what more do I need  
And tomorrow's just a mystery  
Oh, yeah, but that's okay**

I'm alone, on my own and I'm starting off  
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh, but life goes on  
Oh, I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world  


"Tommy, what happened to California? First Jude comes back and now you're home too, did something happen between you two?"

"No, no nothing happened. Jude feels guilty about Kat's death. She won't say it, but I know she does. That's why she's come back. She needs to be home, and back in the studio. She'll be trying to work away the pain she's feeling."

"So why are you back Tommy?"

"Jude might need me." The two men exchanged a look and in that look Darius' saw the determination in Tommy's eyes when it came to protecting and helping Jude. Darius sighed and waved Tommy out of his office, finally Tommy allowed himself to find Jude. She was still singing in the studio so he joined Kwest and a hostile Speid to listen in.

**  
Maybe I'm just a girl on a mission  
But I'm ready to fly**

I'm alone, on my own and I'm starting off  
Oh, I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh, but life goes on

Oh, I'm alone, on my own and I'm starting off  
Oh, I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world

Oooh, I'm just a girl, oh, I'm just a girl, ah, um  
Oh, I'm just a girl

Jude opened her eyes to Kwest, Speid and Tommy applauding her with big grins on their faces. Jude caught Tommy's eye and he simply nodded discretely. Jude nodded back before leaving the studio for that break Kwest had offered to her earlier. In the sound booth Kwest tried not to laugh as both Speid and Tommy made after her and got caught up in a shoving match over who'd go through the door first. This problem was solved when Tommy elbowed Speid in the gut and dashed through the door, he stopped when an official looking woman in a blue suit came up to him followed by a fearful looking Jude. "Tom Quincy?" The woman in the suit asked, Tommy nodded and she carried on. "I'm Elaine Pearsons, I'm here to talk to you about Charlie."


	23. Chapter 23: Goodbye My Friend

"Charlie?" For a moment Tommy wasn't sure what this woman wanted, surely Charlie would just go to Kat's parents, right?

"Yes Charlie, your son? Is there somewhere more private we could talk Mr Quincy? Perhaps a side office?"

Tommy nodded numbly and led Elaine through the small crowd of curious G Major workers that had gathered in the lobby. Jude made to follow him but Kwest stopped her. Jude glared at him but Kwest wouldn't let Jude go after Tommy. Defeated and frustrated Jude fell back onto one of the sofas to wait for Tommy to emerge from the studio he'd just entered with Elaine. Kwest wandered off to edit the two songs Jude had just recorded and Speid took up a seat next to Jude, in fact he was so close to Jude he was nearly sitting on top of her. Jude sighed and shifted along the sofa so she had more space. Speid also moved along the sofa so he was closer to Jude. This repeated itself until Jude ran out of sofa. Finally she turned to look at Speid. "Can I help you?" She snapped, irritated because she was still slightly unsure in her decision and wanted to know what was happening with Tommy.

Speid looked taken aback by her aggressiveness and began an obviously rehearsed speech. "I know that a ton of stuff has happened and the last thing you probably want to do is make a decision, but I need to know. Jude I love you but I can't wait forever. Maybe Tommy's prepared to wait for you but I'm not. So make up your mind Jude, and fast." Speid rose from the sofa and strode out of G Major leaving Jude sitting there stunned. She sat absorbed in her thoughts for a while until she saw Kwest leave the studio for a break. She slipped into the studio, grabbed her notebook and returned to the lobby sofa where she began to write.

**No, no, no, no  
No, no, no, no **

**  
Listen little child  
There will come a day  
When you will be able, able to say  
Never mind the pain, or the aggravation  
You know there's a better way  
For you and me to be **

**  
Look for the rainbow in every storm  
Fly like an angel heaven sent to me**

**  
Goodbye my friend  
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you  
here)  
It's not the end  
(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)  
So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no no  
No no no no **

A tear rolled down Jude's cheek as she thought of her friend. She couldn't believe Kat was gone. It just didn't feel right. Jude could still remember the first time she'd met Kat…

_Jude's Flashback_

_Jude was sitting on the grass pulling up daisies to make into daisy chains when a girl who looked about her age came bounding up. "Hi, I'm Kat. What's your name?"_

"_I'm Jude."_

"_I like your hair Jude, it's really pretty. Hey neat, are those daisy chains you're making? Can you show me how to make them?"_

_Kat sat down next to Jude and for the next hour or so they sat in silence with Jude making the odd remark about how to make the best chain. Once they were done Kat and Jude went over to Kat's house to show Kat's mother their daisy chains. On the way over Kat told Jude everything about herself and questioned Jude. By the end of that day the two girls were inseparable._

Jude wiped her eyes and carried on writing, pausing every now and then to doodle daisies in the margin of the paper.

**  
Just a little girl, big imagination  
Never letting no one take it away   
Went into the world, what a revelation  
She found there's a better way for you and me to be **

**  
Look for the rainbow in every storm  
Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you  
You'll always be someone's baby **

**  
Goodbye my friend  
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you  
here)  
It's not the end  
(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)  
So glad we made it, time will never change it, no no no  
No, no, no, no (You know it's time to say goodbye)  
No, no, no, no **

Jude thought to when Kat had confessed how scared she was to have come back and felt shame wash over her. It had taken so much strength to come back here and face Jude, and Tommy, after all that had happened and Jude had pushed her away. Maybe things would have been different if Jude had accepted things and worked on getting to know Kat again.

**  
The times when we would play about  
The way we used to scream and shout  
We never dreamed you'd go your own sweet way **

**  
Look for the rainbow in every storm  
Find out for certain love's gonna be there for you  
You'll always be someone's baby**

**  
Goodbye my friend  
(I know you're gone, you said you're gone but I can still feel you  
here)  
It's not the end  
(You gotta keep it strong before the pain turns into fear)  
So glad we made it, time will never never ever change it  
No, no, no, no  
(You know it's time to say goodbye)  
No, no, no, no  
(And don't forget you can rely)  
No, no, no, no  
(You know it's time to say goodbye and don't forget on me you can  
rely)  
No, no, no, no  
(I will help, help you on your way)  
No, no, no, no  
(I will be with you every day)  
No, no, no, no**

Jude was staring into space, oblivious to the fact she had tears streaming down her face, when Tommy emerged from the studio looking shocked. He saw Jude and was instantly by her side, hugging her as she clung to him and cried. "I miss her so much Tommy, I was such a bad friend to her when she came back. Maybe if I had listened she'd have still been here and none of this would be happening."

"Hey, it's not your fault Jude. These things happen. And it's okay to miss her Jude; she was your best friend. But you were never a bad friend to her."

Jude sniffed. "I knew you'd say something like that. I knew you'd lie to me. Of course it's my fault, she was driving to the airport to come to California to see me! If I hadn't pushed her away or gone to California with you she wouldn't have been in that car, she would still be here and Charlie would still have his mum!" She was on her feet now crying and yelling at Tommy loudly, Kwest came out of the studio to see what was going on and started to make his way over to Jude. Darius, who had also come out of his office to find out what all the noise was about, stopped him. This was what Jude needed, if anybody could help Jude get over this Tommy could.

"Jude you are not a bad person and none of this is your fault! Would you believe me for once? You had every right to push her away, and me. Kat shouldn't have been driving in the state she was in. She saw people before she left, it was obvious that something was wrong and they could have stopped her but they didn't. The person who pulled in front of her freaked her out; if they hadn't pulled in front of her she might still be here. There are so many people who could be blamed for this but nobody blames any of them, least of all you Jude. Things like this happen everyday, tragedies happen every day and people blame themselves when it isn't their fault. So stop blaming yourself. I know you're feeling guilty and you hurt like hell but you have to listen to everyone who tells you that it isn't your fault. You didn't force her to come to California; you didn't force her to get in that car and drive. It was her decision to do that Jude, nobody else's decision but hers." Tommy was also on his feet, raw emotion showing in his eyes but he spoke with a calm, steady voice. Something in Jude seemed to change, the fire died in her eyes and she simply looked like a small child, lost and alone. She looked utterly defeated. She had black circles under her eyes where she hadn't slept for days, her hair was looking a bit lank and her face was pale and gaunt with tear lines running down her cheeks. Tommy crossed over to where she had moved to in order to get away to him and Jude fell into his arms sobbing loudly and hiccupping.

Tommy simply held her close to him hoping that now she would stop blaming herself for all of this. Darius and Kwest moved everybody who had gathered in the lobby to watch Jude's breakdown to where they were supposed to be before leaving Tommy and Jude alone. Eventually Jude pulled away from Tommy and smiled sadly at him. "What have I done to deserve you Quincy? I push you away time and time again but you keep on coming back. Why?"

Tommy smiled adoringly at her and answered simply, "because I love you Jude."

Elaine Pearsons was suddenly beside them, addressing Tommy. "Have you spoken about it with her yet Mr Quincy?" Jude looked questioningly at Tommy who looked away, ashamed. "Well you have five minutes Mr Quincy but then I have to leave with your decision." Elaine moved away from the pair, giving them some privacy.

"Jude I know you haven't made your decision yet-"

"Tommy-"

"No Jude let me say this. I know you haven't made your decision yet but you need to know this. If I'm who you want there's something you need to know about what it will mean for you. If you choose me then you choose Charlie too. Kat's parents won't take him in and as his dad Elaine came to see if I would, otherwise he goes into foster care. I know Charlie symbolises a hard time for you, and a mistake I made long ago, but he's my son and no matter what I owe it to him to take care of him now Kat's gone." Tommy kissed Jude on the cheek and started to make his way back to Elaine, convinced now that Jude would turn him away again and choose Speid.

"Tommy wait," Jude called out, Tommy turned round. Jude walked up to him and slipped her hand into his, smiling at him.

"Jude are you, are you sure about this?" Tommy questioned, unable to believe that Jude was choosing him.

"I've made my choice Tommy, I choose you."


	24. Chapter 24: Moving On

"Mr Quincy I need to know what your final decision is and time is ticking. I have other appointments to get to you know." Elaine's voice was full of annoyance and impatience. As if woken from a daydream Tommy looked to Elaine, who raised her eyebrows at him, and back to Jude who was still holding his hand. Jude smiled at him encouragingly. Tommy grinned back like a small kid in a candy shop.

"We'd," he started, putting an arm around Jude's shoulders and pulling her closer to him "love to take Charlie in."

Ten minutes later both Tommy and Jude had signed declarations stating that they both agreed to take care of Charlie and Jude had signed another piece of paper in order to begin the process of adopting Charlie. Tommy had argued at this saying Jude accepting Charlie was enough, "I know, but I want to do this." She'd responded signing the document with a flourish. Now they were sitting on one of the G Major sofas, Jude leaning back against Tommy. "So, Mr Quincy, what are the plans from now on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what happens next. Do I move in with you, or do I stay with Sadie? How public are we going with this thing?"

"Why Jude I never had you down as an exhibitionist." Tommy smirked suggestively trying to hold back his laughter.

"Ha, ha. Not like that you pervert."

"I know but it was a very nice thought while it lasted." Retorted Tommy, face deadpan. Jude shrieked indignantly and smacked Tommy round the head with a pillow. "Hey, hey I was joking Harrison! Let up the assault!" Jude dropped the pillow and leant back against Tommy. "Seriously though?" Jude nodded. "Okay well provided you want to of course, we tell Sadie, Kwest, Darius etc about 'us' and then you move in with me. Then you give up your music career and stay at home chained to the oven." He finished grinning wickedly and chuckling. Jude brandished the pillow again threateningly causing Tommy to surrender. "Okay fine you can be chained to the kitchen sink! Honestly I thought you liked cooking Harrison." Jude shot him a sour look and turned her head when Tommy made to kiss her. Just as Tommy started to get worried and upset Jude cracked. She burst into giggles that turned out to be infectious and soon Tommy's deep laugh could be heard blending harmoniously with Jude's giggles.

_Later that day_

Jude looked around the now crowded G Major lobby for Speid. Now she'd officially chosen Tommy, Jude had to break the news to Speid although when he'd spoken to her earlier that day it had sounded like he didn't care anymore. Jude spotted him and the other members of SME goofing around. Wally saw Jude and waved motioning for her to join them. She hooked her thumbs through the belt loops of her jeans and made her way over to them. Speid noticed her serious expression and stood up looking slightly fearful. Jude inclined her head and Speid nodded, gently taking Jude by the arm and moving them to a quieter area so they could talk without Kyle and Wally eavesdropping.

"I guess you made a decision then?" Prompted Speid when Jude didn't say anything. Jude kept her gaze on the floor and nodded. "It wasn't me, was it Dude Jude?" Jude shook her head, too ashamed to look Speid in the eye sensing his anger from the harshness in his voice. "Hey," He spoke with a softer voice now. "Jude I knew deep down that you were gonna choose Tommy. Anybody could see you were madly in love with him, I just decided to take a chance. I never thought I'd be the one you chose to be honest, just don't tell Kyle and Wally that. They already think I'm a daft dude." Jude giggled and hiccupped, a sign that she was crying if there ever was one. Speid wrapped Jude in his arms and the pair embraced for a moment, until Speid began to tickle Jude on the ribs. Jude squealed and began to laugh helplessly. Speid dragged Jude to the floor where Kyle and Wally soon joined them after running over and bundling on top of them.

Jude was still laughing five minutes later as Darius emerged from his office and started pulling the boys off from on top of her lecturing them about 'proper conduct' and 'not injuring other musicians' especially when they were a few songs away from finishing their amazing album. SME did their best to look ashamed but it was ruined every time they caught each other's eyes and burst out laughing again. Jude herself was slowly edging away from the group biting her lip to hold in her laughter. Darius whirled round and Jude froze on the spot, grinning innocently at him.

"I have something for you" He informed her quietly, as if she was three and he was about to tell her that her pet cat had 'gone to kitty heaven'. He dipped into his suit jacket pocket and pulled out two envelopes, one of which bore her name. Jude tried, and failed, to see who the other envelope was addressed to. "Take these and go home, the other one is for Sadie." Jude nodded, sensing an underlying disaster or maybe less extremely some very bad news was contained in these envelopes. Just as Jude reached the G Major doors Darius called out to her as an afterthought. "If you need someone to talk to Jude, I'm here for you." Jude nodded and slipped out of G Major wondering what the hell was in the envelopes.


	25. Chapter 25: And Falling Down

"Sades, Sadie are you home?" Jude dumped her bag and pushed the door shut with her foot as she entered home. Sadie appeared in the kitchen doorway looking flushed.

"What is it Jude? I'm cooking dinner."

Jude handed Sadie her envelope and began to open her own. "Darius gave these to me, no idea who sent them. I don't think it's good news though…" Sadie nodded sombrely and looked at her envelope, not opening it.

"This is mum's writing. I'd recognize it anywhere. Look at the flick she's done on the S of my name, only she does that."

Jude looked at where Sadie was pointing and nodded. They both went through to the kitchen and Sadie checked on dinner as Jude pulled out her letter and began reading.

_My dearest Jude,_

_ If you're reading this then well I guess I won't be seeing you again. I know how this will sound but I really hope you don't get this letter and that Sadie doesn't get hers either. See if you get these letters it means I am gone. Not just gone from home like I already am but gone forever. I have cancer Jude, the doctors don't know if I'll survive so I'm writing to you and your sister to finally say all the things I've been longing to say for so long, but have been too afraid to do so. _

_Firstly let me tell you why I left that summer. That was when I first found out I had cancer, I left for chemotherapy and stayed with aunt Helena who I doubt you remember because you haven't seen her since you were little. I left thinking your father would stay with you, our marriage wasn't strong but we were holding on desperately to keep things as normal as possible for you. When he phoned me to tell me he'd left as well I wept for days. My only respite was the news that Sadie had moved back from New York to look after you, and brought Kwest (is that the right name, I'm assuming they're still together) with her. I know that must have been the hardest time of your life for you. Kat left, Tommy left, I left and then your father left. I'm sorry for the part I played in your pain Jude._

_I've been following your life and career through the media and news from various people. I remained in close contact with Darius throughout these years. Although I wasn't there I still wanted to know about you and Darius helped me with that. You're probably wondering 'why weren't you here, why did you go in the first place?' I didn't want you to have to see me in a weakened state, I didn't want you to feel you had to cope or support me or give up anything. I thought I was helping you. I know Darius has been like a father to you, when he told me your father had gone I told him that he had to be there for you even more now because you didn't have a father figure other than him in your life._

_My little girl Jude, I am so immensely proud of you and all you've achieved. I've got every single you've released and every version of your albums. I missed hearing your beautiful voice drifting from the bathroom when you're having a bath or a shower; I missed the way you used to sing using the spatula as a microphone when you'd do the washing up with me; I missed everything about you my darling._

_I'm also filled with happiness to see that Tommy has come back into your life, and that for a while Kat was also there and I was saddened to hear or her death and that you blamed yourself for it. However I know that now you have Tommy in your life as well as Sadie, Kwest and Darius you will be safe, loved and protected, as you should be. I have fought as hard as I could until I felt that you and your sister were in a good place in your lives. Now is that time I feel, which is why I have written these. I've known that Sadie was in a good place for a long time but I was worried about you. Now Tommy is back I feel that you will be able to get through this although obviously I've hoped for so long that you wouldn't. Give Tommy my love as well as yours Jude. No matter what his mistakes were he loved you and always has._

_I'm weak now; I'm like a frail old woman, not at all like Grandma Harrison if you remember her. I've tried to be strong but I haven't done very well. I have good days and bad days but you and Sadie are always in my thoughts and in my heart. If you do get these, and I fear that you will, please forgive me for all the pain I have caused by my cowardice. I'm sorry and I will love you both forever. I'll see you in heaven my little superstar._

_Love and hugs,_

_Mum. Xxx_

Jude realised she was shaking and sobbing hysterically, as was Sadie. "Mum" Jude whispered as she traced her mother's final goodbye with a single shaky finer, that had always been her mother's saying whenever she left or was ending a conversation. It was strange that after over two years since having seen or heard from her mother the familiarity of that saying swamped her with grief. Perhaps it was because in that time Jude had never really thought of her parents because she knew she'd get bogged down by all the emotion she'd felt then and truthfully still felt although it was now tinged with grief and weariness. Jude felt her cell vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out. "Hello?" She managed to stutter out through her tears.

"Jude? What's wrong?" Tommy's concerned voice set Jude crying all over again.

"Oh Tommy it's mum, she's…she's dead!" Jude burst out feeling completely desolate and aware that Sadie was also on the phone, presumably to Kwest, in tears.

"I'll be right there." Tommy promised before hanging up. Jude flipped shut her cell phone and drifted out of the kitchen and to the front porch to wait for Tommy.


	26. Chapter 26: Daughter To Father

A week later and Jude was waiting for Sadie to pick her up from the airport. Jude had flown to New York for her mother's funeral, Sadie had already been in New York for a week helping plan it but had told Jude not to come for the planning stage. "Spend time with Tommy, you need each other just like mum said." Had been Sadie's exact words when Jude had protested about being left behind. Jude had relented and now it was the day before the funeral. Jude was holding a small over-night bag with funeral clothes and several changes of clothes for the rest of the week. Sadie had brought over the essentials with her and reassured Jude that she wouldn't need them. Jude managed a smile when Sadie pulled up outside the airport. "Hey Jude, so how's home?" She asked as Jude pulled her seatbelt across her body.

"Good, Tommy says hi. How was it here last week? Did having Kwest here help?"

"Yeah it was kinda hard, but Kwest was a saint. Have you written any more material while I've been gone?" Question Sadie, knowing full well that with Jude it was highly probable that Jude would have some new song or other. Jude nodded silently and turned to stare out the window to watch the people they drove past, something she did when she didn't want to talk. Sadie saw this out of the corner of the eye and dropped all conversation, reaching over and turning on the radio instead.

Several minutes later they pulled up outside a modest two story house where Jude was told that her mother had lived here with a close friend for her final few months so she wasn't alone. As Jude stepped into the house she was aware that there were pictures of herself and Sadie up all over the walls, along with several framed reviews of Jude's albums and a tour poster that Jude vaguely recalled signing recently because as she'd gone to sign it somehow the poster had been torn and the corner Ripped off. Jude swallowed and blinked away her tears before following Sadie upstairs to the room they would be sharing for the rest of the time. "Hey Jude." Kwest greeted her with a sad smile and enveloped her in a hug after kissing Sadie on the cheek as her sister had passed him. "How you holding up?"

"Good thanks, nobody's heard from dad I take it then?" Jude burst out with the question she'd been longing to ask since she'd first received the letter. Where the heck was her dad during all this? It was like he'd disappeared from the face of the earth. Nobody could quite meet her eye. "What?" Nobody spoke. "Somebody tell me what happened, I know something has!"

"He got remarried, we managed to find out that much but nothing else. We have no idea where he is, who he married, if he has any more kids. Nothing." Kwest informed her in a monotone voice. Jude bit her lip and nodded.

"Great, so he's left us alone to pick up the pieces? Brilliant, just brilliant. We need him here!" Jude crumpled as Sadie pulled her distraught sister into a hug. "I just want dad back Sades, why won't he get in contact with us? Did he ever love us?"

"I don't know Jude sweetie, I honestly don't know." Sadie murmured into Jude's hair as Kwest quietly shut the door leaving the two sisters alone. "I thought that he'd hear what happened and get in touch, I waited ever day for the postman to bring me a letter from him but one never came."

"Sades, you know I said I had a song?" Sadie nodded. "Do you wanna hear it?" Sadie smiled and handed Jude her guitar.

**I wait for the postman to bring me a letter  
And I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better  
And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders  
family in crisis that only grows older**

Why'd you have to go?

**Why'd you have to go?**

**Why'd you have to go?**

Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I am broken but I am hoping  
Daughter to father, daughter to father   
I am crying, a part of me is dying and  
These are, these are   
The confessions of a broken heart

And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater  
I dream of another you the one who would never, never  
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces  
Daddy to hold me, that's what I needed

So why'd you have to go?   
Why'd you have to go?  
Why'd you have to go?

Daughter to father, daughter to father  
I don't know you, but I still want to  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
Tell me the truth, did u ever love me  
Cause these are, these are  
The confessions of a broken heart  
Of a broken heart

I… love you  
I… love you  
I… love you  
I…  
I love you

Daughter to Father, daughter to father  
I don't know you, but I still want to  
Daughter to father, daughter to father  
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me, did you ever love me  
these are  
The confessions of a broken heart

Oh Yeah

And I wait for the postman to bring me a letter

Jude looked up to see Sadie completely in tears. Jude set down the guitar and hugged her sister, tears spilling down her face.


	27. Chapter 27: Not Now

Jude was lying on her bed completely still and staring up at the ceiling as Sadie slept soundly on the other bed. Jude sighed and rolled over to face the clock, it's lit up numbers informing her that it was 3am. Jude had been in bed for nearly five hours and still hadn't had any sleep. Jude stared out of the window and saw that it was raining heavily. She smiled slightly; it was like the sky was crying for her.

_Raining and raining all night long…_

Jude sat up and crossed to the small window seat quietly so as not to wake her sleeping sister. As she passed the chest of drawers she picked up a small personal radio and plugged her headphones into it. Spiderman's voice travelled from the radio through the headphones and into her ears, urging her to march on. Jude smiled absently as she remembered the meaning behind the song; she was so lucky that Speid was still a close friend after all the stuff that had gone on between them. As the song ended Jude switched off the radio and placed it on the seat beside her before facing the window and resting her burning forehead against the smooth, cool glass.

_Just another sad line in another sad song…_

Jude glanced over her shoulder as Sadie rolled over in her sleep before facing the early morning skyline of New York. Even at 3am it was beautiful, cars were still driving around and some lights in the distance twinkled like they were an extension of the stars. A solitary tear trickled down Jude's cheek as she thought about her father and her mother, and about Kat. About those she had lost. Jude glanced down at the radio; maybe she could find some form of solace in a song. She flicked through several stations until she fell upon one playing a certain Blink 182 song. It was called "Not Now" and Tommy used to sing it to her when she had trouble sleeping or if they were together during a thunderstorm. Tommy's version was much softer, more like a lullaby, but the words were still the same. Jude quietly hummed along as she felt sleep creeping up on her. And so Jude eventually fell asleep at half past three in the morning with the words of Blink 182 ringing in her ears, but with Tommy singing them in her mind.

**Come here, please hold my hand for now  
Help me, I'm scared please show me how to fight this,  
God has a master plan  
And I guess  
I am in his demand  
Please save me this time I cannot run  
And I'll see you when this is done  
And now I have come to realize  
That you are the one who's left behind**

Please stay until I'm gone  
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here  
Waiting

I see, a light it feels good  
And I'll come back soon just like you would  
It's useless, my name has made the list  
And I wish, I gave you one last kiss

Please stay until I'm gone  
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here  
Waiting and take  
My one last breath, and don't forget  
That I will be right here  
Waiting

**Please stay until I'm gone  
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here  
Waiting and take  
My one last breath, and don't forget  
That I will be right here  
Waiting**

**Please stay until I'm gone  
I'm here hold on to me I'm right here  
Waiting and take  
My one last breath, and don't forget  
That I will be right here  
Waiting**

Jude awoke several hours later as the sun finally penetrated through her sleeping eyes and found a blanket was covering her body and she'd been manoeuvred into a laying down position. Jude was looking around quizzically as Kwest walked past, "Sadie thought you'd be uncomfortable sleeping like that, she came and got me this morning. Apparently you tried to hit her when she was trying to wake you up to come back to bed." He grinned at his sister-in-law as she blushed in embarrassment. "Everyone else is downstairs, including a special visitor for you, I got sent up to come get you to come downstairs. For some reason Sadie didn't fancy trying to wake you up again after last time." Jude groaned as she heaved herself up from the window seat and staggered over to Kwest who ruffled her hair affectionately before turning and leading the way downstairs. "I found her, and I can safely say that unlike Sadie I was not attacked by Jude." Kwest joked as they emerged into the crowded sitting room. Sadie rolled her eyes and shifted slightly so that Kwest could sit down and watched Jude's face carefully as her younger sister saw who it was waiting for her. As Sadie had predicted Jude was shocked, and extremely angry.

"What the heck are _you _doing here?" She screamed throwing the nearest thing, a pillow, at her surprise guest.


	28. Chapter 28: Suprise

"So…inviting them was a bad idea?" Sadie winced at the utter foolishness of Kwest's question, and winced again as Jude turned on him.

"Of course it was a bad idea! Didn't Sadie tell you it was a bad idea?"

Kwest shifted uncomfortably and avoided Jude's gaze. "She might have mentioned it once or twice…"

"WHAT!"

"Jude sweetie calm down, Kwest obviously thought that he was doing the right thing ignoring me and doing this. He just wanted to see you happy. We all do." Sadie interjected attempting to sooth her fired up sister. Jude simply scowled at her. "Look just talk to them, heck yell at them if you want but do something for heaven's sake. They've come all this way!"

"It's hardly a stretch to fly out from Laguna Beach to New York, especially on their daddy's credit card." Scathed Jude, still seething at everyone and everything. She hated surprises and this was why. Jude shook her head as Sadie pouted at her, trying to look pitiful. "Oh no Sades, not the puppy dog thing... fine. I'll go kick their ass and then I'm leaving." Jude twisted round on her heel and walked smack bang into the person she was going to go see. "Erm hi." She stuttered, completely off balance and worried that they'd just heard the whole conversation.

"Hey, you wanna go for a walk?" The voice was nervous and doubtful, obviously not expecting Jude to say yes going on her previous response earlier that day. However Jude had promised Sadie one meeting, talk time thingy and Jude knew she had to act out that promise. And the sooner she got it done the sooner she could get home.

"Sure thing, let's go." She forced a smile and led the way, leaving a stunned Sadie and Kwest in the kitchen.

"Don't." Warned Sadie as Kwest turned to her, victory in his eyes. "Don't even start Kwest. Things don't always happen the way you want, and besides I think there'll still be drama before the day is through. There's still trouble to come." With that Sadie grabbed a carrot stick from the bowl behind her and left Kwest alone, contemplating exactly what it was Sadie was trying to say.


	29. Chapter 29: History Lesson, Chase

"So what exactly is the story between them? Why did Jude freak out so much?" Kwest looked down at Sadie, who was staring determinedly out of the lounge window so she could avoid his gaze. Sadie didn't like keeping things from Kwest but Jude had made her promise. The memory of Jude terrified, lost, confused, broken and crying in Sadie's arms still haunted her. If Jude got hurt again then Sadie would do as she'd sworn to do all those years ago and make them pay. She turned to Kwest and forced herself to flash a small smile. "Sadie please, I know you've probably told Jude you wouldn't tell anyone but I don't get what I've done wrong. You don't have to tell me much, just the outline or something. Nobody else will talk to me because they don't know me, Jude won't answer her cell and you, my own wife, are ignoring me. Just throw me a bone." Sadie lifted her gaze from the carpet and saw Kwest had tears in his eyes. Sighing Sadie shifted slightly on the sofa and patted the seat next to her. Kwest broke into a grin and fell into the seat gladly. Sadie took a deep breath and begun to tell Kwest everything.

_**A year after Tommy, Kat and Jude's parent's had left Jude took a break from recording and went on holiday to a friend's house in Laguna Beach. Her friend, Lucy, had introduced Jude to her friend Chase and the pair was getting on brilliantly. Jude felt like for the first time since everyone had left her she was finally safe and loved, she wasn't sure but she had a feeling she might be falling for Chase…**_

_At the beach…_

"_I love you Jude." Chase bent down and kissed Jude on the nose, Jude grinned and kissed him back as Lucy and her boyfriend Chad made kissy noises at them. "Shut up you guys!" Laughed Chase, squirting them with some water from his sports bottle. Lucy screamed whilst Chad squirted Chase back, hitting Jude at the same time, Jude joined Lucy in screaming and soon a water fight was in full flow._

_Hours later Lucy and Chad waved goodbye to Jude and Chase as they wandered off in their separate directions lugging deck chairs and leftover food with them. Chase threw an arm around Jude's shoulder and pulled her closer to him. "Stay with me tonight Judey, we can have some fuuuun…"He hinted, fingers trailing up her arm giving her goosebumps. Jude shook her head and tried to pull away from him. _

"_You know I can't Chase, and besides I thought we'd agreed to wait." Her eyes were crystal clear and as usual showing every emotion, tonight there was happiness but this was being overtaken by fear and upset as Chase tried to push her._

"_C'mon babe, I have waited. I can only be expected to wait for so long, don't you want to? Don't you love me?" He acted upset, playing his trump card and knowing full well that Jude would give in eventually._

"_Of course I do, but I'm waiting until marriage. You know that Chase, I told you that very early on. And you said you didn't mind waiting!" Jude's voice was wavering as tears begun to fill up her eyes. Chase ignored the tears and Jude's wavering voice as he pushed Jude into his house forcefully as they arrived, watching as she fell to the floor. "Chase…don't…" Jude was scared now. He had seemed so nice. Why was he acting like this? _

"_Chase, don't." He mocked, advancing towards here and chuckling as she scrambled backwards in a vain attempt to get away from him. "It's just you and me Judey…nobody here to hear you scream…"_

"Oh my God, I…Sadie I didn't know. I wouldn't have even guessed. Oh crap. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Kwest you didn't know." Reassured Sadie in a monotone shuddering as she imagined her poor sister having to go through that. Kwest slipped his strong arms around her and hugged her tightly. Sadie settled back into his embrace and tried to shake off the guilt that was flooding her even now. It was Sadie who'd suggested she go to Laguna Beach, it was Sadie who'd encouraged her to get to know Chase better thinking it would help her get over Tommy, it was her fault.

"It's not your fault, you know that right?" Kwest said as if reading her mind. Sadie said nothing and Kwest carried on. "Things like this, they happen Sadie. It's part of life. Nobody is ever safe from pain and it's nobody's fault. It happens. It's life. And you can't blame yourself for not being there and for not being able to help Jude when she needed it. You couldn't have known it would happen, you couldn't have known what a jerk Chase was. And you've been there for her so much recently anyway that it's amazing. You're amazing." Sadie smiled and they kissed.

"Thanks Kwest, I suppose we better go have a little drive just to make sure Jude's okay. They would've gone to the mall." Kwest nodded and grabbed his car keys from the side as they passed it.


	30. Chapter 30: Say It In A Song

"Hey look, a stage. _New York Talent Show_. I know you're like a big famous pop star and all but you should go for it. You're good." Chase pointed out the stage and sign to Jude who had been silent since agreeing to go on a walk with him. "You okay? You've been kinda quiet…"

"Gee I wonder why, I only agreed to come on this stupid walk with you to keep Sadie and Kwest off my back. I never said I'd talk to you." Jude turned her back on him and stormed off in the direction of the stage.

"Oh yeah she so still digs me." A somewhat deluded Chase assured himself before following her.

"I'd like to sign up for the talent show please." Jude bit her lip as the organizer looked up and recognition flooded his features.

"Erm sorry Ms Harrison but this is an amateur contest."

"Oh…" Jude turned away and saw a television crew setting up. "Is this being televised?" She questioned, a plan forming in her mind. The organizer nodded without looking up. "I have an idea…" She filled the organizer in on her plan who readily agreed, desperate for good ratings, and went to inform the television crew.

Several hours later after Jude had sat through all the other performances the presenter came on stage to announce her. Jude hugged Sadie and Kwest, who had shown up about half an hour after she had finished writing a new song to perform. Chase was still there but Jude blanked him as she walked up on stage. "Hi everyone, firstly let me just say how good all you guys were today. Can we have a round of applause for you all…yeah that's it! Whooo! Right erm I'd like to dedicate this song to the memory of my mother who recently passed away, she wasn't perfect but she was my mum and I loved her very much. This song is called Haunted."

**Louder, louder  
The voices in my head  
Whispers taunting  
All the things you said  
Faster the days go by and I'm still  
Stuck in this moment of wanting you here  
Time  
In the blink of an eye  
You held my hand, you held me tight  
Now you're gone  
And I'm still crying  
Shocked, broken  
I'm dying inside**

Where are you?  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me

Shadows linger  
Only to my eye  
I see you, I feel you  
Don't leave my side  
It's not fair  
Just when I found my world  
They took you, they broke you, they tore out your heart

I miss you, you hurt me  
You left with a smile  
Mistaken, your sadness  
Was hiding inside  
Now all that's left  
Are the pieces to find  
The mystery you kept  
The soul behind a guise

Where are you  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me

Why did you go?  
All these questions run through my mind  
I wish I couldn't feel at all  
Let me be numb  
I'm starting to fall

Where are you?  
I need you  
Don't leave me here on my own  
Speak to me  
Be near me  
I can't survive unless I know you're with me

Where are you?  
Where are you?

You were smiling

There was a stunned silence from the crowd that had gathered before applause started up and soon everyone was cheering wildly. Jude felt relief flood her even though she had tears in her eyes. Sadie ran up on stage and the sisters hugged. "I'm so proud of you Jude, and mum would be too." Sadie whispered into Jude's ear as Kwest joined them on stage, trying to hug Jude. Jude smiled and hugged Sadie tightly before they allowed Kwest to join their group hug. Sadie and Kwest left the stage and allowed Jude to take a bow. However the crowd had begun chanting.

"Encore, encore, encore!"

Jude laughed and turned to the presenter questioningly who nodded, thinking mainly of the ratings and press this would get.

"Alright! Erm well I wasn't planning on airing this quite yet but yet another preview of a new song. This is called Don't Waste Your Time and it's a message to someone, I won't name them but they know who they are." Jude finished cryptically, staring directly at Chase who squirmed awkwardly.

**It's over, it's over, it's over:**

It seems you can't hear me  
When I open my mouth you never listen  
You say stay, but what does that mean  
Do you think I honestly want to be reminded forever

Don't waste your time trying to fix  
What I want to erase  
What I need to forget  
Don't waste your time on me my friend  
Friend, what does that even mean  
I don't want your hand  
You'll only pull me down  
So save your breath  
Don't waste your song  
On me, on me  
Don't waste your time

It's not easy not answering  
Every time I want to talk to you  
But I can't  
If you only knew the hell I put myself through  
Replaying memories in my head of you and I  
Every night

Don't waste your time trying to fix  
What I want to erase  
What I need to forget  
Don't waste your time on me my friend  
Friend, what does that even mean  
I don't want your hand  
You'll only pull me down  
So save your breath  
Don't waste your song  
On me, on me  
Don't waste your time

You're callin'  
You're talkin'  
You're tryin'  
Tryin' to get in  
But it's over, it's over, it's over  
Friend

Don't waste your time trying to fix it  
So save your breath, don't waste your song  
On me, on me  
Don't waste your time

You held me  
You felt me  
You left me  
But it's over, it's over, it's over  
You touched me  
You had me  
But it's over, it's over, it's over my friend  
Don't waste my time

The whole crowd seemed to increase in their volume as they cheered, chanted Jude's name, applauded and stamped their feet. Jude smiled fully for the first time in weeks as she saw Chase leaving as discretely as possible, Jude glanced at Sadie who saw the same thing and grinned back at her. Jude turned back to watch Chase leaving and saw another figure there. Her eyes widened and she shrieked in joy, running of the stage and towards the doors. Chase saw Jude running in the door's reflection and turned round, not having seen the other figure standing there. Jude finally reached Chase but ran straight past him and into the arms of the other figure standing there, reaching out for her. Chase sighed bitterly and left Jude's life for the last time. Jude squealed in delight as the figure spun her round before pulling her into a hug. "I've missed you." He murmured into her hair. Jude nodded against his chest before pulling away so she could look into his eyes.

"I've missed you too. What are you doing here?"

"Well I came to see you, or isn't that allowed?"

"Of course it's allowed silly, awww I can't believe you're here this is so great!"

They hugged again before linking arms and making their way back to Sadie and Kwest who were waiting for them, having the tact to let them have their welcome as alone as possible when there was a crowd of fans watching and a television crew recording the moment. This was just what she needed right now.


	31. Chapter 31: Catch Up & Mission Plan

"So how was your flight man?" Kwest asked as he turned out of the mall car park an hour later.

"It was good I suppose, bit of turbulence half way through but nothing too bad. So erm Jude who was that dude walking past me when I got here? Tall, blonde hair…he seemed to have the idea that you were running to him…" Jude shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Chase, old friend or rather was an old friend."

"No more friend?"

"No more friend." She confirmed giggling at his phrase, he'd always used that when they'd had an argument and it was his way of saying sorry and getting her to forgive him. "So why did you come here, if you missed me you just had to wait for a little bit…"

"I couldn't wait, I'm an impatient man. Plus I had holiday time given to me so I decided to come and see you. I'm sorry about your mum Jude."

"Thanks, so am I… so how was England?" She asked, attempting to steer the conversation to happier topics.

"England sends his regards and asked me to say hi to Uncle Sam for him. How's G Major?"

"Same ole, same ole. New album soon, I'm about halfway through it at the moment. Been writing lots of new material though so it might be a double disc if I keep writing. Tommy is being a slave driver, SME are mucking about, Darius is lording it over us and Sadie and Kwest are, well, being Sadie and Kwest. It's still weird without you there though. I meant it when I said I missed you."

"So did I Jude, England is all rainy and cold and lonely."

"Haven't you met anyone Jamie? Nobody at all, like a friend?"

"Well…"

"Who…ooooooo is it a giiiiirl! Oooooooo Jamie has a crush!"

"Shut up no I don't." Jamie protested, but blushing at the same time.

"Andrews you're blushing! Who is she?" Jude demanded, giggling.

"Her name's Patsy. But she doesn't know I exist." Jamie slumped in his seat, sounding deflated.

"Well, now I have a mission. Darius has given me a week off after mum's funeral, which is tomorrow. After that I am coming with you back to rainy cold England and I will make Patsy notice you, even if I have to bludgeon her to do so. Plan?"

Jamie smiled and hugged Jude as best as possible when in a moving car. "Plan." He agreed.


	32. Chapter 32: New Neighbour  Memories

"So Jude…what happened between you and Chase at the mall? Did he try and hurt you? Did he touch you? If he's hurt you in any way I will kill him!" Jude laughed at Sadie's overprotective concern and shook her head.

"No he didn't lay a finger on me, he kept on trying to talk to me and act like everything was normal and then he pointed out that talent show but that was it…" A sudden thought struck Jude, "Sades, you don't suppose he'll come here again do you?" She asked, or rather pleaded, nervously.

"I doubt it Jude, I think with your rejection and the looks Kwest was giving him combined we won't be seeing Chase for a long time." Sadie hugged her sister reassuringly with one arm and the pair were silent for some time until Jamie appeared at the bedroom doorway. "I'll leave you two alone to catch up." Said Sadie, making herself scarce. She knew how much the pair had missed each other and how every moment of this week together was important to both of them.

"So Ms Superstar, may I enquire as to who Chase is?" Asked Jamie as he plonked down on the bed beside Jude. Jude contemplated things for a while, plucked a pillow from behind her and hugged it to her chest as if it were a bulletproof vest. She nodded and relayed most of the story to him but not in as much detail as she had used when telling Sadie after it had happened. As she progressed in her story Jamie felt her sadness envelope him and his heart breaking as he watched Jude crying, although she didn't appear to notice her own tears as she let them fall and continued with her story, and soon Jamie was crying too. Jude's voice broke as she reached the end and Jamie pulled her to him as she finally submitted to her tears. Jamie held her tightly as Jude cried and tried to mask the fact that he too was crying. "Jude, shhh it's okay Jude, its okay to cry Jude you don't have to be strong all the time. Just let it all go. I've got you Harrison." He soothed as Jude tried to pull away and wipe away her tears, apologising for being silly. Jude laid the pillow she had been clinging to her on Jamie's lap and rested her head there suddenly feeling exhausted. Jamie let her lie there and stroked her hair until he heard the sound of her steady breathing indicating she had fallen asleep. An hour later they were still there, and Jude was still asleep, when Sadie came to check on them. She smiled at the scene before her, Jamie heard her giggle quietly and looked up. "Hey Sadie." He whispered raising a hand in a half-hearted wave. Sadie smiled and waved back. "She told me about Chase." He informed her, Sadie raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"I thought she wouldn't talk about it, she completely clammed up with me after it happened. I'd hear her crying in her bedroom but she'd always lock the door and ignore me if I tried to talk to her. She seemed to completely close in on herself and I couldn't do anything to help. She only came out of her room to eat, she wouldn't talk to anybody, and she stopped writing music. She just sat in her room and cried all the time. Until a certain somebody moved in…" Sadie allowed herself to trail off before leaving the pair alone and heading to Kwest's room.

Jamie looked down at Jude and remembered the day he'd moved in.

"_Jamie, go ask next door if they have any sugar. It appears you forgot to pack it you imbecile!" Jamie's mother shrieked at him from the kitchen, her voice echoing around the empty rooms. Jamie rolled his eyes, placed the box he was carrying down and left his house grudgingly. He had no social skills whatsoever and he hated meeting new people. He raised his hand to knock just as the front door opened and a tall blonde on her cell stepped out the door. _

"_Oh, hi." She sounded pleasantly surprised by his presence, "Are you moving in next door?" Jamie nodded wondering how she knew. "I saw you helping your mum unpack the moving van." She explained upon seeing his confusion. She closed her cell and held out her hand to him. "I'm Sadie Harrison by the way. Welcome to the neighbourhood." Sadie grinned at him as he shyly took her hand._

"_Jamie Andrews, erm sorry to be a bother but could we borrow some sugar? We forgot to pack it and my mum's throwing a fit." He smiled nervously as he tripped up over his words._

_Sadie smiled at his awkwardness with himself, he reminded her of Jude before Tommy arrived on the scene. "Sure, come on through and I'll just get it." She stepped back into the house indicating that he should follow her through to the kitchen. As they entered the kitchen a girl with shocking red hair wearing crumpled jogging bottoms and a baggy t-shirt emerged from another doorway. Sadie smiled at her and grabbed her arm as she went past, stopping her from leaving as she was trying to do. "Jude this is Jamie, he's just moved in next door and needs some sugar. Can you help him out please, I gotta get to work." Without waiting for an answer Sadie kissed her sister on the cheek, waved goodbye to Jamie and ran out of the house before her plan could backfire. Maybe this Jamie could help get Jude out of the slump she was in._

_Jude moved silently around the kitchen, completely ignoring Jamie. "My name's Jamie by the way." He supplied simply to fill the eerie quietness in the room. After his mother constantly yelling at him he didn't like silences, it made him nervous. _

"_Yeah I know, Sadie said so." She certainly wasn't as welcoming as her sister, thought Jamie as he watched the younger sister move around the room searching the cupboards. "So was that your mum yelling earlier?" The sudden question penetrated the silence and surprised Jamie, who hesitated before answering. Jude blushed and attempted to take it back. "Sorry, shouldn't have asked. Pretend I didn't."_

"_No it's okay, it was my mum. Shouting is kind of her normal decibel level, personally I don't think she remembers how to talk normally to most people." Jude let a slight smile slip at his joke and Jamie observed how beautiful she was when she smiled. He wondered why she seemed so moody and withdrawn, but he wasn't about to ask. "Thanks." He mumbled as she handed him a bowl of sugar, blushing as their fingers brushed briefly. Jude made no reply and left the room without a backwards glance, leaving Jamie to find his own way out._

"_Well, did you get the sugar boy?" Screeched Mrs Andrews upon his return. Wordlessly Jamie handed his mother the bowl of sugar and went to sort out his new room._

_That night Jamie had just finished placing everything in his room when he heard someone strumming on a guitar. He peered out of his window to see Jude sitting cross-legged on her bed, head bent in concentration, playing a guitar and singing quietly. Jamie smiled to himself; she had a beautiful voice. Feeling slightly intrusive Jamie stayed in the shadows near his window and listened in, her voice was so hypnotic._

**I won't deny  
I faked it  
Don't wanna lie  
I'm jaded  
I wanna scream  
When inside I'm breaking down, mmm  
I've left the stone  
I was under  
I'm running home  
You won't find her  
She walks alone  
All through this broken town**

Goin' the wrong way down a one way street  
Where the feeling is criminal  
Nobody helps me out when I bleed  
Just look, look  
Looking for someone like me  
Where the feeling is mutual  
Can anybody see what I see?  
Cuz I don't see me

I blow away  
The ashes  
I clear his face  
To look at it  
He stole my name  
While I waited lost and found, oh  
I found a place  
Where I'll keep you  
Cuz I won't live  
Through you or beneath you  
I walk this way  
Where these winds won't bring me down

Goin' the wrong way down a one way street (this one way street)  
Where the feeling is criminal  
Nobody helps me out when I bleed  
Just look, look  
Looking for someone like me (no one will look at me)  
Where the feeling is mutual  
Can anybody see what I see?  
Cuz I don't see me

Don't  
Let me be  
Save it all  
Don't waste it on me  
Cuz if I take a chance  
And if I hurt again  
And if I let you in mmm  
Be my reckonin'  
Ooo, hey!

Goin' the wrong way down a one way street (this one way street)  
Where the feeling is criminal  
Nobody helps me out when I bleed  
Just look, look  
Looking for someone like me (no one will look at me)  
Where the feeling is mutual  
Can anybody see what I see?  
Cuz I don't see me

_Jamie moved slightly and Jude looked up sharply, their eyes met and Jude rose from the bed and left the room. Jamie sighed and pulled his window down. Five minutes later there was a knock at his bedroom door. "Jamie?" It was her. He opened the door and she was standing there holding her guitar and a bunch of papers all fastened together with one paperclip. He smiled and waved her in, closing the door behind her. "Did you hear me singing?" She asked him as she bounced up and down on his bed slightly. Feeling unsure of himself, he wasn't exactly used to talking to girls, Jamie nodded wordlessly. Jude smiled slightly, more to herself than to him. "I forgot our rooms overlooked each other. This house has been empty for so long I just completely forgot. I used to break in here, before it started getting harder to do so, just to be alone and play music. I used to sit in here by the window so Sadie knew where I was and just play my guitar. It was always so peaceful here. I'd feel safe, y'know?" Her eyes stunned Jamie, they were so full of emotion and seemed to capture his heart without even trying. Again he nodded wordlessly and Jude giggled. "Cat got your tounge?" She teased him gently, sensing that perhaps Jamie wasn't too great at social interaction. "My fault probably, sorry about earlier. I'd just woken up...Jamie can I take you somewhere? It's like my little secret place, I found it after I stopped coming here. I feel kind of safe with you, like I can trust you. So…wanna come?" Jamie smiled and allowed Jude to lead him out of his house and out into some quiet little field, they kept walking for about an hour until they reached a clearing. There was a river and a small little hut with a painted door. Jude grinned and pointed to the hut. "That's mine, my sister's fiancé built it for me and I painted the door. I go there when it's raining, and I keep some supplies in there. Like torches and blankets." She disappeared into the hut and emerged with a torch and a few blankets. They set up a camp of sorts on the riverbank and lay back, looking up at the stars._

"…_And then mum decided that she hated the neighbourhood and we had to move, again." Finished Jamie falling back onto the blanket beside Jude, she looked at him and propped herself up on her elbows._

"_Jamie, help me write a song." She beseeched him._

"_Me? I can't write a song Jude!"_

"_Please, just words or phrases. Or tell me how you're feeling or what you think about certain things. I can't seem to get inspired!" Jude handed him a sheaf of paper and a pen before sitting up properly and heading to her hut. When she came back Jamie handed her his attempts looking ashamed. Jude read them several times before taking the pen from Jamie, scribbling out a few words or replacing them with other words or rearranging the ones he'd written down. She passed the paper back to him. _

**The phone is of the hook  
And Jamie's got a gun.  
And Sherry's in the river  
And the river is gonna run again.  
Ooo ooo ya  
So you don't know where to go  
You don't know where to hide.  
Holding all your tears,  
keeping all your pain inside.  
With your back against the wall  
Heart falling from your hand.  
You throw it in the river  
And the river is gonna hide it again.  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah...**

But you are not alone.  
When your not safe at home 

And your running back running back.  
While your off track   
looking for a hope,  
And for house to call your own.  
You need a phone you feel all alone.  
You don't know where to stop while your falling apart.  
You need someone to hold  
your hands are cold  
You feel a little older.  
You need a shoulder.  
Oooo noo  
But you're not alone.

What they will believe,  
And if you want to change how its meant to be.  
Even if they think you're strange.  
Ooo  
You want to live a life,  
you need to breakaway.  
Counting on your hands the days you have left to pay  
But you are not alone.

_Jamie stared at her in amazement. "You got that from what I wrote?" He asked her in disbelief. Jude nodded smiling. Jamie smiled back and flung an arm around Jude's shoulders. "Harrison, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." He said, quoting from an old film his dad used to watch, in a mock Italian mafia voice. Jude giggled and punched him lightly on the shoulder before picking up her guitar and strumming out a tune for their song…_

Jamie smiled at the memory and quietly began to sing the song to himself, unaware that Jude had just woken up and was just lying there quietly. Jude waited until he finished the first verse before she joined in. Jamie stumbled slightly, surprised by Jude's voice having thought she was asleep, but regained the tune quickly. Down the hall Sadie and Kwest smiled to themselves as they heard the two friends harmonising. Sadie leant back into Kwest's arms finally happy; everything would be okay.


	33. Chapter 33: Going Home

Over the course of that week Jude and Jamie were rarely apart, their friendship was even stronger than it was before Jamie had left for England. Jamie helped Jude get through the funeral, and Jude helped Jamie come up with a plan to get Patsy to notice him. Now it was their final day in New York and Jamie was due to go back to England, whilst Jude had been persuaded by Sadie to come back home before running of to England with Jamie for a holiday. Their things were packed and the cars loaded, Jamie's cab driver was waiting impatiently as he said goodbye to Jude.

"Well, back to England." He whispered into Jude's hair as they hugged for what seemed to be the millionth time. He heard sniffling coming from Jude and guessed she was crying. "Hey Harrison, don't start tearing on me. We'll meet up soon remember? And my carrier pigeon is waiting for me at home so I can harass you via the skies. So stop crying." Jude sniffed a little more before, laughing slightly, she pulled away to show him she'd stopped.

"Tell your pigeon not to land on my head Andrews, got it? And let me know how the whole Patsy thing goes, I want regular updates- daily if possible. And this time call me when you land!" Jude punched him on the arm, laughing when Jamie winced. "I'm gonna miss you all over again Jamie." Confessed Jude becoming subdued once more, welling up again. Jamie rolled his eyes and held her close to him, rubbing her back soothingly. They stood like that in silence for a moment before they pulled apart again when someone tapped Jude on the shoulder.

"Jude hunny, we have to leave now or we'll miss our flight." Sadie told her gently, smiling at Jamie, before leaving them alone for their final goodbye. They hugged again and went to their separate cars. Just as Jamie was about to get in Jude called out to him.

"Jamie…" Jamie paused and turned to her. "You are not alone." She sung to him smiling before getting into the passenger seat beside Sadie and waving to him as they drove off. Jamie smiled and waved back before getting into the cab to get to the airport.

_Several Hours Later_

"Jude my little superstar glad to have you back. Tommy's in the studio at the moment, he'll be out in a minute." Darius told her, motioning to Studio B where Jude could see Tommy hard at work. He looked up and saw her, breaking into a smile. Jude blew him a kiss before turning to Darius, who was walking back to his office.

"Darius thanks for well...erm what I mean is…I just wanted to say…thanks." She finished lamely, blushing and diverting her gaze to the floor. Darius regarded the young girl for a moment before holding out her arms and enveloping her in a hug, like a father would his daughter. Jude clung to him, missing her father more than anything.


	34. Chapter 34: Love To Burn

"I'm sorry I couldn't come out to New York, Jude." Murmured Tommy when he finally emerged from the studio later. Jude glanced up from her magazine and faked a smile. "Jude don't you dare say it's okay I didn't, I know you wanted me there. I wanted to be there too." He whispered, his hot breath tickling her neck making her squirm and come up in goosebumps. Tommy chuckled to himself and took her hand, pulling her up. "Come with me. I have a surprise for you." Tommy led Jude into the studio where he had just been and took a seat at the piano, indicating for Jude to sit next to him. He played a scale before, not taking his eyes of off Jude's face, begun to sing to her. Jude closed her eyes and allowed Tommy's seductive voice to wash over her, allowing herself to let go of all her thoughts and pains and focus on Tommy; on Tommy and the song he was singing to her, making her fall for him all over again.

**Ooooo... mmmmm**

I've see you falling  
in and out of things  
your heart heats up  
your heart gets cold  
lights up and yearns again

What's your story?  
I don't want a flash of glory  
Then the crash  
the what was that  
and why did i fall so fast

Slow down  
We've got time  
I need to know  
that your all mine

Have you've got a love to burn?  
Kisses for days?  
Don't you wanna grab onto something real  
And never let it get away?

I don't have a love to burn  
Time to waste  
'Cause I've waited far too long  
For the spark to become a flame  
And if it comes true  
I only have a love to burn for you

I can live without happy by myself  
But you get to me  
You make me feel like there is no one else

What you doin'  
Leaving hearts in ruins  
Can't you see  
For us to be  
That just won't fly with me

Slow down  
Let's get it right  
Make it last  
Let's start tonight

Have you've got a love to burn?  
Kisses for days?  
Don't you wanna grab onto something real  
And never let it get away?

I don't have a love to burn  
Time to waste  
'Cause I've waited far too long  
For the spark to become a flame  
And if it comes true  
I only have a love to burn for you

I'd see it through  
If I was sure you'd feel this way for me  
It's gotta be  
Much more than anything we say or loved  
To ever last

I need to it's not just touch and go  
That you are here to stay  
Here to stay  
That you are here to stay  
hmmmm

Have you got love to burn?  
Kisses for days?  
Tonight we wont  
let anything get  
in our way

Have you've got a love to burn?  
Kisses for days?  
Don't you wanna grab onto something real  
And never let it get away?

I don't have a love to burn  
Time to waste  
'Cause I've waited far too long  
For the spark to become a flame  
And if it comes true  
I only have a love to burn for you

Tommy faced Jude feeling slightly nervous. She wasn't saying anything, just sitting there with her eyes closed. Either she'd fallen asleep or she was in a trance. Suddenly Jude opened her eyes, a grin emerging on her face. Tommy raised his eyes questioningly. By way of answer Jude moved closer to him and kissed him gently on the lips, wrapping her arms around his neck. Tommy responded by slipping his arms around her waist and deepening the kiss. Jude moaned quietly and Tommy chuckled, kissing her harder and with more passion before pulling away just as Jude begun to respond. "Welcome back Jude." He whispered before resuming to kiss her once again.


	35. Chapter 35: Trouble In Paradise

"I'll see you later Jude." Tommy kissed Jude's cheek before she got out of the car. Her Mustang was being repaired after the brakes wore down so Tommy had been giving her lifts for the past week. Sadie appeared at the door and watched unnoticed as the young couple said their goodbyes. Sadie wished her and Kwest were still like that. He had been so distant since New York, barely talking to her and spending all his time going out or shut up in the studio. She pasted a smile on her face as Jude noticed her, Sadie waved a hand in greeting to Tommy who smiled and waved back before blowing a kiss to Jude and pulling away from their house. Jude watched him drive away before running up the front path to her older sister.

"What's wrong?" Jude asked, seeing a sad look in Sadie's eyes.

"Nothing Jude, why?" Sadie was determined not to let Jude know about the problems in her marriage, Kwest was her producer and if Sadie confided in her sister then her work might suffer. Jude eyed her sister suspiciously. "I'm fine really, I'm probably just tired or something. Really Jude, everything's fine. C'mon dinner's nearly ready and I want to hear your new song beforehand." Jude shrugged her shoulders and allowed herself to be dragged into the house. She was sure if there was something going on Sadie would tell her, after all they were best friends as well as sisters.

"Hi Kwest baby, how was work?" Sadie attempted to sound cheerful and normal although she already knew Kwest would ignore her or reply in a single syllable.

"Fine." Kwest ignored his wife and walked through to the kitchen. Sadie sighed and followed him.

"Are you going out again tonight?" Kwest ignored her, reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer. As he walked past her again Sadie grabbed his arm. "Kwest? Are you?"

"Huh?"

"Are you going out tonight?" Sadie snapped, irritated.

"Probably." Kwest shook off her arm and stalked off upstairs leaving Sadie alone in the kitchen, tears welling up in her eyes. Sadie heard the front door slam, signalling Kwest had indeed gone out, and Jude come running down the stairs. Sadie frantically wiped away her tears and forced her brightest smile on her face as Jude entered the kitchen.

"Hey Jude, you okay?"

"I'm fine, was that Kwest going out again? That's like the third night in a row!" Jude rolled her eyes jokingly. "Men!"

"Huh, yeah I know. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. " Sadie avoided Jude's gaze, rousing her suspicion.

"Seriously though, are things okay with you two? I barely see you two together any more and you seem a bit down. You know you can talk to me right?"

"Yeah I know that, but like I said everything is fine. Don't worry about it Jude. Hey you wanna watch a movie? Sister's night in? I rented Dirty Dancing…" Jude grinned and nodded, already searching for some popcorn as Sadie left to set up the video. "Jude hurry up it's starting and I'm not waiting for you!" Sadie called out five minutes later. When she got no reply Sadie sighed and paused the video, going in search of her sister. When she got to the kitchen the back door was open and the bag of popcorn was lying on the floor, with several pieces spilling out of it. Sadie looked around wildly and ran to the door. "Jude? Jude are you out here? Jude seriously, stop messing around!" Sadie yelled out into the darkness. "Jude?" Sadie tried again hopefully, but her voice was smaller and sounded more scared than before. Sadie had a bad feeling about this. She grabbed her phone and dialled Tommy's number. "Tommy is Jude with you?" She asked, almost pleadingly, the instant Tommy picked up the phone, answering in a sleepy voice.

"Erm no. You two are having a movie night remember?" Tommy chuckled at Sadie's ditzieness.

"She's not?" Sadie's bad feeling was getting worse.

"No she's not. I haven't seen Jude since I dropped her off earlier. Why?" Tommy had picked up on the panic in Sadie's voice and in his apartment he was sitting up looking around as if Jude would suddenly pop up.

"She's not here Tommy. She hasn't left a note, her cell is still here and the back door is wide open but I could have sworn I'd locked it. I'm scared Tommy, this isn't like her." Sadie sunk onto a stool and pulled at her hair, a nervous habit of hers.

"Lock the back door; call Darius; call Speid and send Kwest to look for her."

"_But Kwest isn't here_!" Sadie was crying huge tears now and her voice was shaky. Tommy swore quietly, already on his feet and locating his car keys.

"Lock the back door, call Darius and Speid and I'll be there soon." Tommy hung up, grabbed his car keys and ran out the door praying that nothing bad had happened to Jude.


	36. Chapter 36: Initial Contact

"So let me get this straight; she seemed fine, said nothing about having any plans or leaving the house, and hasn't contacted any of you?" The police officer stood poised with a notepad, awaiting a response from the silent group assembled in the Harrison household, two days after Jude had disappeared and it was finally being treated seriously. At first the police had just thought it was typical teenage angst, albeit a bit delayed, and said to wait for a few days in case she returned. A kidnap was the alternative and was looking increasingly possible, as time had gone on. Now it was being treated as a kidnap and the police, prompted by Darius who was absolutely frantic and harassing them at all hours, were launching a mass investigation into Jude's disappearance.

"We've already told you all this, why aren't you out there _looking _for her?" Sadie burst out, tears in her eyes refusing to fall anymore, jumping up from her chair and pointing outside to ensure her point was made.

"Mrs Taylor I'm just doing my job, which is to double check the facts. Now you were the last person to see Jude before she disappeared, is that correct?"

"Yes, we were having a movie night. I was setting up the movie in here and she was in the kitchen making popcorn. I told her to hurry up because the movie was starting and I wouldn't wait for her to watch it but she didn't reply so I went into the kitchen, the back door was open and the popcorn was open on the floor as if it had been dropped."

"And you didn't see anyone suspicious lurking around in the back garden?"

"Just how am I supposed to see people that I don't know are there in the pitch black officer?"

"Sadie he's just checking, calm down. We're all worried about Jude but getting arsey with things won't help."

"I think I'm entitled to be a little bit arsey Tommy given the fact that my sister was kidnapped from this house while I was here and I didn't know a bloody thing about it until she was gone!" Sadie collapsed back onto the sofa sobbing now, looking at Kwest for comfort. However Kwest rose to see the officer out, deliberately ignoring his wife, leaving Darius and Tommy to console her. Once the officer was gone Kwest finally spoke.

"I'm going out." He muttered as he looked for his keys. Darius looked up, disgusted.

"Kwest your sister-in-law has disappeared, your wife is sitting here inconsolable and you're going out?"

"Erm…yeah. See ya." Kwest almost dove through the door before someone else confronted him.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, with no news about Jude and no contact from her. Police officers drifted in and out of the house whilst Sadie and Tommy sat in the living room only moving to eat or use the toilet. Every so often they were joined by Darius or Speid, who joined them, made them eat properly and helped the police with their enquiries. Once he'd gone out Kwest didn't show his face again until the evening, by which point the house was so busy nobody noticed him arrive and head straight upstairs.

_Jude's Disappearance, day three_

_Time: 9am_

Sadie was woken from her dreamless sleep by the shrill ring of the telephone. "Hello?" She mumbled sleepily.

"If you want to speak to Jude do not tell the police about this phone call when they turn up for their daily report. Once they have left I will telephone this house again and let you, and only you, talk to Jude. If anybody else answers it I will hang up and won't call again. Is that understood?" Sadie tried to listen to the voice, to try and figure out if there were any distinguishable features to the kidnapper's voice. There were none, the voice sounded distorted and almost robotic.

"I understand." Whispered Sadie just as the line went dead. As if on cue the doorbell rung, announcing the police chief on his morning visit. "Have you found her yet? Please tell me you've found her." Begged Sadie as Tommy joined her at the front door. The police chief shook his head regretfully and entered the house.

"Any news this end?"

Sadie wanted to tell the chief about the phone call, but from the sounds of things the kidnapper was watching the house so she couldn't. If she did say something the kidnapper would know, and that could put Jude in danger. So she shook her head, turning her gaze to the floor. The chief nodded absently and left again, informing them that they would let Tommy and Sadie know the second they got a lead. As Tommy closed the door the phone rang. Sadie ran and grabbed it, before secreting herself away upstairs and in the bathroom. "Hello?" She whispered, afraid that Tommy would overhear her and break down the door so he could talk to Jude or that it wasn't really Jude as the kidnapper had promised.

"Sadie, oh Sades is that you?" Jude's voice came on the other end of the phone, sounding weak and tired but still 100 Jude.

"Oh my God, Jude. Jude are you okay? Please tell me you're okay. You haven't been hurt have you? Can you say where you are? Are they feeding you?"

"Sadie…Sadie calm down. I don't have long; in fact I have about a minute left. I'm fine, well obviously I'm not fine but you know what I mean. I haven't been hurt, I can't because I don't know and yes I'm being fed. Oh Sadie it's so good to hear your voice, I thought I was going to die!"

"Oh Jude it's so good to hear your voice! We're all so worried about you…"

"Sadie listen carefully, the people who have me gave me this to read. I have no idea what it means but anywho…Kwest has some big secret, that's why he's been going out every night. Not all is as it seems and something has to change. You have to tell Kwest that, and when he asks who told you this you have to say 'guess who'." Sadie heard a voice, possibly male but it was hard to tell, yell at Jude. "Oh do I have to, just a little more time? Please, just one minute more? Half a minute? Fine. Sadie I love you okay? Don't give up, please get me home- I want our movie night. And erm Sades…tell Tommy I love him please. Oh and tell Speid to march on, he'll get what I mean."

"Jude-"

"Sades I have to go, I love you big sis." Jude sounded sad, like she was about to cry.

"Love you little sis." But Sadie was talking to herself, as Jude had been cut off. Eventually Sadie became aware of a banging on the bathroom door; Sadie opened the door just as Tommy was backing up to break it down. "Jude says hi and she loves you, and not to give up." Whispered Sadie, falling into Tommy's arms and sobbing, wondering just what Kwest's big secret was.


	37. Chapter 37: Serious Secrets

"So has anybody actually seen Kwest recently? It's like the guy is a ghost or something dude." Speid was tossing his hat up into the hair and catching it again as Sadie paced up and down the living room, Darius stared into space and Tommy dozed in an armchair. They had all been on the lookout for Kwest since the phone call from Jude and the startling message but there had been no sign of him for almost twenty-four hours. Everytime one of them had tried to call him on his cell he didn't pick up. "So Sadie, did Jude sound okay? I mean okay as okay as she could've sounded given the fact some dude has taken her somewhere…okay I'll just shut up." Speid held up his hands in surrender as Sadie glared at him.

"Good idea. Where the heck is Kwest!" Sadie screamed, waking Tommy up, just as Kwest walked through the door. "Finally! Is there a reason you neglected to tell anybody where you'd be going and didn't answer any of our phone calls over the past day? Have you lost your mind or something Kwest because my sister is missing and if you don't tell me where you're going and disappear without a trace how am I meant to know that something hasn't happened to you as well, huh? Oh and by the way Jude got in contact today via her kidnapper. She read a little message from her kidnapper for you as well. Would you like to hear it? There's a reason for you going out every night; something has to change and not all is as it seems, apparently you have some big secret that you neglected to tell me. Actually do you even remember who the hell I am Kwest? Shall I remind you? I'm your wife Kwest, so start acting like my husband and not some stupid, immature, thoughtless, rebellious teenager okay?" Sadie spun on her heel and stomped off into the kitchen with Tommy not far behind her. Sadie ran the tap and filled a glass of water, slamming it down on the side and running a hand through her hair in frustration. "Where'd it all go wrong Tommy? Everything was going so well and now I don't know who I am anymore. How can I be Kwest's wife when he won't talk to me? How can I be Jude's older sister when I can't protect her in our own house? And how can I be a good mother if I can't even look after myself? I haven't slept in days, I'm constantly on edge and jump at the slightest noise…." Sadie trailed off as she noticed Tommy looking at her as if she'd sprouted another face. "What?" She asked slowly.

"Are you pregnant?"

"What? No…no…NO…why would I be pregnant? I didn't say I was pregnant Tommy, what are you talking about?"

"You asked how you could be a good mother, I was just wondering…I mean it sounded as if you were pregnant…"

"Tommy?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up. This conversation never happened." Without giving him a chance to reply Sadie snatched up her glass of water and hurried back into the living room, away from Tommy's questioning gaze and probing questions that she didn't want to have to answer just yet.

_Meanwhile with Jude where she's being held…_

"Well done sweetheart, that was brilliant delivery of my little message. Just for that I might feed you tonight." Jude scowled at her kidnapper's back, knowing that if she did it to his face she'd only get a slap for her trouble before being starved for another day. Jude fixed her face into showing no emotion as he turned back around. "I would have had to have fed you at some point anyway, can't have you starving to death on me now could I? Who else would deliver my messages for me?" Jude bit back the temptation to spit at him as he leaned towards her leeringly. "Jude, my little Judey don't look at me like that. All sad and disappointed in me, you drove me to this. You made me do this. Like that scratch, I didn't plan on doing that did I? No I didn't, because all I wanted was to talk to you. But would you talk to me? Would you heck. You made me do all this and all because I wanted to talk to you, stupid bitch!" Jude gasped as his hand flew across her face, catching the sensitive area around the scratch on her cheek. "See Jude, remember what I'm like when I'm angry? It's not very fun is it, no it's not. Now come on Judey smile for the camera, oh come Jude smile for your public. That's it, good girl." Jude blinked rapidly as the flash went off suddenly and without warning. "There, now the whole world will know that you're still alive; or at least you were when I took this. So I'll leave your food by the door, if you're really quiet while I get this developed and sent off I'll feed you. If you don't then it stays by the door: in your vision but out of your reach. Bye-bye Judey, I'll see you soon."

The heavy door slammed shut and Jude was swallowed back up in the room's darkness, the only light was through the small window in the wall and that light shone directly onto the plate of food. Jude, now numb to the coldness, strange noises and the dark, felt a tear slide down her cheek as despair coursed through her veins. She'd given up yelling for help after the first day after no help arrived. She had to struggle it out and pray for the best, or that the worst would hurry up and put her out of her misery.


	38. Chapter 38: Prison Performance

"Good morning Judey. I've been thinking. Want to guess what I was thinking?" Jude glared sullenly at her captor's grinning face.

"You've decided this is stupid and your letting me go?" She replied, foolishly letting hope sneak into her voice. She was rewarded with his hollow laugh and another slap. "Obviously not then." She deadpanned.

"No I'm not letting you go my little nightingale. However I have a friend who brought you a present, so today you get to play with this present. Enjoy." He turned and strutted out of the room but returned soon with a package that looked remarkably like a guitar case. He set it down and loosened the knots in the ropes tying Jude to the chair before leaving again, locking the door behind him and turning the light in the room on. Sitting by the door was indeed a guitar case, battered slightly but a guitar case all the same, and a small notebook with a pen tied to it. Jude struggled frantically with the ropes, desperate to lay her hands on the guitar in case it got taken from her suddenly, and eventually pulled them away from her body. Jude crawled hurriedly across the floor and grabbed the guitar case first, wrenching it open to reveal an acoustic guitar and a small red pick. Jude dropped the case, picked up the notebook and retreated to the far side of the room.

Half an hour later he checked on her, she was still sitting in a corner strumming away contentedly. He grinned to himself, now she knew that he had a guitar she would be less likely to resist or fight back every time he entered her room. He wasn't stupid, he knew she only did it so she would get fed or get rewards like that phone call to her stupid sister.

Several hours later the door clicked open and he entered the room, followed by several other men. Jude stopped playing and stared at them, fear filling her and solidifying like cement, the men stared right back at her as her captor approached her. "Tonight Judey, you are going to sing for your supper. This is your audience. Each one has food or drink for you and if you do good enough then you can earn a full meal. Fun, huh?" He chuckled and reached to ruffle her hair, biting back his annoyance when she ducked out of the way. He indicated to the chair and Jude had no choice but to oblige. She perched upon the chair and begun one of the songs she'd written that day, glaring at her audience as she played. As usual her emotions got poured into her performance. Some of the men winced as they heard the resentment and anger in her voice, whilst others grinned- finding it fairly amusing.

**I'm sitting in a room,  
Made up of only big white walls and in the hall  
There are people looking through  
The window in the door  
they know exactly what we're here for.**

Don't look up  
Just let them think  
There's no place else  
You'd rather be.

You're always on display  
For everyone to watch and learn from,  
Don't you know by now,  
You can't turn back  
Because this road is all you'll ever have.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.  
Just living proof that the camera's lying.  
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.  
So smile, 'cause you'll go out in style.  
You'll go out in style.

If you let me I could,  
I'd show you how to build your fences,  
Set restrictions, separate from the world.  
The constant battle that you hate to fight,  
Just blame the limelight.

Don't look up  
Just let them think  
There's no place else  
You'd rather be.

And now you can't turn back  
Because this road is all you'll ever have.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.  
Just living proof that the camera's lying.  
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.  
So smile.

Yeah, yeah you're asking for it  
With every breath that you breathe in  
Just breathe it in.  
Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess  
You do all this big talking  
So now let's see you walk it.  
I said let's see you walk it.

Yeah, yeah well you're just a mess  
You do all this big talking  
So now let's see you walk it.  
I said let's see you walk it.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.  
Just living proof that the camera's lying.  
And oh oh open wide, yeah oh oh open wide.  
Yeah, oh oh open wide,  
'Cause you'll go out in style.  
You'll go out in style.

Jude's breathing was faster than usual as she sat in silence, awaiting a response from either her audience or her captor. Her captor rose from his seat and slowly started to applaud. "Judey Jude, lovely angst there. So much for your new direction. That was classic Jude Harrison angst. Well gentlemen, do you think that was good enough for a meal?" There was silence. "No? Well Jude let's hope the next song gets a better response or your going to be pretty hungry tonight. Play on." He took his seat again and Jude took great satisfaction at sticking her tounge out at his retreating back, not caring how childish she looked.

"This is just for you, captor dearest." She forced herself to smile at him as she played the opening sequence. Jude forced herself not to laugh at the smug look on his face, or how it fell as she got further into the song.

**You're a little obsessed with me  
And I'm a little bit scared of you  
The way you look and stare at me  
Maybe it's time I let you know**

You could call me six times but still I won't pick up the phone  
You could spend all your money on me  
but still I'll say no  
You could write a million letters everyday confessing to me  
That I am the girl of your dreams  
But nobody ever asked me  
I never looked at you that way  
'Cause I always thought you were gay 

Every time you come around  
You just look me up and down   
And then you try to hold my hand  
I'm confused now I don't understand

You could call me six times but still I won't pick up the phone  
You could spend all your money on me  
but still I'll say no  
You could write a million letters everyday confessing to me  
That I am the girl of your dreams  
But nobody ever asked me  
I never looked at you that way  
'Cause I always thought you were gay

You told me lies  
You made me believe  
It would be fine  
If there was nothing to see  
I'd be undressing in front of you  
I told you secrets that no one else knew

You could call me six times but still I won't pick up the phone  
You could spend all your money on me  
but still I'll say no  
You could write a million letters everyday confessing to me  
That I am the girl of your dreams  
But nobody ever asked me  
I never looked at you that way  
'Cause I always thought you were gay

This time the assembled men applauded as soon as she finished, some of them were even laughing at the look on her captor's face. There was a sharp intake of breathe when he strode over to Jude and pushed her off her chair, wrenching the guitar from her. "Nobody," he aimed a kick at her side "makes" another kick, this time her stomach, "a fool" another kick at her side "out of" one more at her side "me!" Jude was now bunched up in the foetal position, trying to block out the pain and repel his attack. None of the men in the room moved to help her, just stared at the scene in detached shock. Jude cried out despite herself as the kicks travelled up her body, ending up at her head. Her captor was just aiming another kick at her head when a sound rang out through the air. Although Jude was braced for it the kick never came. She heard a faint thud as someone dropped down next to her. "Judey, oh crap Judey talk to me. Please Judey I'm sorry. Jude don't scream anymore, Jude stop screaming." Jude uncurled herself and looked around her, feeling slightly dazed. The room was empty except for her and her attacker. He was kneeling at her side sobbing. "I'm sorry Jude, oh Jude don't cry. Shh, Jude be quiet, please Jude I need you to be quiet." Jude didn't reply but he took her silence as surrender and left the room. Jude lay still until the ringing in her ears had died down a bit, it was then she heard raised voices from just outside the door. She crawled over to the door to listen in on the conversation.

"…and what was that note about man? _Hurt my sister and I hurt hers…_what are you, a member of the Mafia or something? This isn't a game man, people's lives are being ruined!"

"Exactly Kwest, people's lives are being ruined. So do something to make it stop."

"I told your sister I was doing all I could to help and I will after the baby is born. What more can I do?"

"Leave Malibu Barbie to make an honest woman out of my sister?"

"Maybe I like being Ken to her Barbie, and your sister couldn't be made honest no matter how hard anyone tried."

"Watch it Kwest, remember I still have Judey hidden away and she hasn't met my new best friend yet…so you see what I mean? I'm a dangerous man Kwest. And I have lots of dangerous friends. So you better do something, and make it snappy."

Jude scrambled into a corner as she heard footsteps approaching the room. The door was flung open and the guitar placed back in it. Jude stayed in her corner eyeing the guitar as if it was a wild animal waiting to strike. Eventually she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

The next day Sadie was sitting in her usual chair with a plate full of food in front of her going uneaten. Tommy was sprawled out on the sofa, dozing again. Speid had gone out to the shops to buy more food for Sadie not to eat and Darius had to go back to G Major. Kwest, once again, was nowhere to be seen. Sadie's cell lit up and begun to ring on the table, Sadie grabbed the cell and answered it. "Hello?"

"Sadie it's Speid, I have to be quick. I just saw Kwest buying a pregnancy test and on the phone to somebody saying he'd bring it round in a minute…it wasn't you was it?"

"No it wasn't. Speid where are you?"

"Er the supermarket, the one five minutes walk away. Why?"

"Stall Kwest somehow, I'll get the car and follow him. I think it's about time we learnt just what his big secret was."

Ten minutes later Sadie was tailing Kwest's car as it drove past G Major studios, past the mall and past the church. In fact soon Sadie realised they'd driven into the poorer part of town. Sadie was so busy staring in shock at the amount of people on the street that were drunk or high, or both, that she almost missed Kwest turning down a side street. Sadie just made the turn, narrowly avoiding a drunken bum asleep on the pavement, and parked further down the street from where Kwest had parked. Sadie watched as Kwest got out of the car and went up to an abandoned looking house. He knocked on the door and a woman opened it, holding a baby. Sadie gasped as Kwest kissed her before entering the house. For a moment Sadie sat there in shock; the woman couldn't have been any older than Jude. Sadie swallowed her disgust and got out of her car, slamming the door shut and making sure she'd locked her car. She crossed the street and leant against the hood of Kwest's car, waiting for when he would leave the house to return home. Well, thought Sadie, at least I know where he's been going.

Twenty minutes later Kwest emerged from the house, the woman had obviously been crying as had Kwest. Kwest kissed her goodbye and slowly made his way down the path. Sadie saw panic flicker in his eyes as he glanced towards the car and saw her standing there, watching. "Kwest, aren't you forgetting your car sweetie?" Sadie called after him as he attempted to slink away and pretend he hadn't seen her. Kwest stopped dead in the middle of the street but didn't move. Sadie advanced towards him. "So, she's a bit young isn't she Kwest? I mean what's going on, a midlife crisis of some sort?" Sadie placed a hand on his arm.

"Nothing's going on. She's an old family friend." Kwest lied, shrugging off her hand.

"Right well you won't mind me going to chat to her then , will you? I like to know your friends and I thought I did. It won't hurt anyone if I introduce myself…" Sadie ran off to the house before Kwest could stop her and knocked on the door. The same woman opened the door and Sadie smiled, holding out her hand as she introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Sadie. Kwest's wife. Just thought I'd come introduce myself." Sadie felt a faint twinge of satisfaction as the woman's face fell.

"Kwest doesn't have a wife. His wife died." She said, confused. "But you look pretty healthy to me." Sadie's satisfaction was replaced by guilt. It wasn't this woman's fault Kwest had turned out to be a cad. "I don't understand." The woman said, looking sadly at Sadie with tears in her eyes. Sadie bit her lip feeling a complete and utter cow.

"Perhaps we can help each other fill in the blanks. Can I come in?" Sadie heard a car door slam and it's engine rev and guessed the Kwest had done a runner. She smiled sympathetically at the woman as her face paled. Sadie heard a baby cry inside and realised that the woman was too shocked to react. Sadie gently eased her way past the woman and followed the crying sound into the living room. She tried to ignore the overwhelming stench and mess as she picked her way through it all to the crib where the baby was. Sadie picked up the baby and soothed it until the crying stopped. When she turned around the young woman was watching her. "Sorry," Sadie blushed "maternal instinct." She handed the younger woman her baby back and made to leave.

"Wait," the younger woman called her back. "Now you're hear you may as well stay and help me clear things up. My name's Kaci by the way and this little monster is Emily." Kaci smiled and her whole face lit up. Sadie wondered how she'd actually met Kwest in the first place, it wasn't like they lived nearby or anything. "Sorry about the mess, its just so much has been happening recently and I haven't had time to clear up. It's not normally like this, honest. And I want you to know Sadie, I really had no idea. I'm not a bad person."

"I know." Sadie smiled reluctantly, sensing that she was telling the truth. "Unfortunately it appears my husband is the bad person." Kaci murmured her agreement as she rushed around, holding the Emily with one arm and tidying up with the other. Sadie started to help but Kaci begun to protest. "No, I don't mind, honestly I like cleaning anyway." Kaci looked torn but relented and as the women tidied up the living room they talked. Kaci had been out in a bar one night, a treat from one of her friends, and had met Kwest. They'd got on well and he'd asked to see her again. A few dates later and he had taken her to an expensive hotel where they'd spent the night. Since then Kaci had been feeling the all too familiar symptoms of pregnancy and had told Kwest, who had responded by running away and abandoning her. Then he had turned up today out of the blue with a pregnancy test saying she had to make sure. When it turned out she was indeed pregnant Kwest had blown his top demanding she get rid of it. Sadie paled as Kaci relayed this part of the story, her hands instinctively going to her own stomach. Would Kwest react the same way about her news?


	39. Chapter 39: Meeting Proposal

"So let me get this straight. Kwest has been playing happy families across town while over here we've all been falling apart?" Tommy stared at Sadie in disbelief. She'd just come back from Kaci's house where the two women had spent the day going over everything and deciding what to do now. Sadie had arrived home to find Speid had told Tommy his part of the story and both men were wondering what had happened next.

"Yeah that's pretty much right. Any news about Jude?" Sadie couldn't help herself from asking, her heart as well as her marriage was breaking but she still cared about her sister. Tommy shook his head, looking downcast, before raising the question Sadie knew would be coming but had hoped wouldn't.

"What's gonna happen now?"

Sadie sighed, "I don't know Tommy. I need to have it out with Kwest and I need to make sure of some things before I can even begin to think of what to do next."

Speid looked confused. "But you know everything for sure, Kwest is a modern day Casanova and its best if you got him out of your life."

Sadie shared a rueful look with Tommy before setting the record straight. "Speid you're forgetting something. I thought I had found my soulmate with Kwest and I'm in love with him. I can't just throw him out like yesterday's trash; it's not that easy. And I didn't mean that in the first place, I think I might be pregnant."

Before Speid could reply the phone rang, startling them all. All three dashed to the phone but Sadie got there first. "Hello?" She said breathlessly.

"Mrs Taylor, it appears you now know your husband's secret." It was the same distorted voice from several days ago, Jude's kidnapper.

"How did you know?"

"I have my sources Mrs Taylor. May I propose a meeting, I make no promises but perhaps now things can't start moving forward. However you and only you must attend this meeting. If anybody else shows up or I sense it is being monitored in any way whatsoever I shall terminate the meeting and things will only get worse. Is that understood Mrs Taylor?"

Sadie gulped and nodded before realising that the voice could not see her. "I understand." She said, placing down the receiver with a shaking hand. Both Tommy and Speid stared at her questioningly. "Don't ask," Sadie warned, knowing full well that they both were about to, "I can't say anything. Just trust me." She left the room to change her clothes for the first time in days. Finally there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Sadie just hoped it wasn't a train coming to run them all down.


	40. Chapter 40: The Informative

Ten minutes after the initial call the kidnapper called again. Luckily Sadie made it to the phone just before Tommy. "The meeting shall take place at the local mall, in five minutes. Do not be late." There was a click as the phone was put down at the other end of the line. Sadie replaced the phone, grabbed her car keys and ran out of the house.

Five minutes later Sadie was sitting on a bench outside the mall nervously biting her nails. "Sadie?" Sadie looked up, Kaci was walking towards her with Emily in a pushchair and an older man in tow. Sadie smiled hoping they wouldn't stay and talk to her, the kidnapper said the meeting wouldn't happen if other people were present. Kaci sat down beside Sadie and the older man hovered nearby. Kaci looked at him. "Aren't you going to sit down Matthew?" She asked indicating the space on the other side of Sadie.

"No it's okay I've got a meeting to go to."

"With Kwest's wife?" The man nodded, Sadie stared at Kaci, unsure as to what the hell was going on. "Matthew meet Sadie, Kwest's wife." Matthew looked properly at Sadie and nodded slowly.

"Of course, she looks just like you…" He whispered.

"Who does?"

"Your sister." Matthew admitted, looking down at the floor.

"Jude? How do you know Jude? What's going on?"

"Maybe I should explain things properly…my name's Matthew and I'm Kaci's older brother. Technically I'm in Mexico to escape conviction but I had to stay here when I saw Kaci. She told me all about this Kwest character and I did some investigation into him, I have my sources you see, and I found out about his double life. I didn't tell Kaci but I warned Kwest off. He paid attention to my warning and made himself scarce but I hadn't counted on Kaci being so upset, so I persuaded Kwest to see her again. Then Kaci thought she might be pregnant and Kwest abandoned her. I hated seeing Kaci so upset so I promised her I'd make Kwest pay…"

Realisation dawned on Kaci's face. "You took Jude, to make Kwest pay because you thought he loved Sadie so much that he'd do anything to get Jude back."

"And it worked too. Kwest saw you today didn't he?"

"Yeah to tell me to abort the baby. Matthew you fool, don't you ever think!"

"Wait…_you_ took Jude?" Sadie stared at Matthew, and he'd seemed so, well so _normal._

"Well one of my contacts was interested in her and when I found out about the relation of Jude to Kwest I agreed to help. I haven't seen her since I took her to the guy who wanted her kidnapped." Matthew was now talking to the floor, unable to look Sadie in eye.

"Who was it, please just a name. That's all I need, a name." Sadie pleaded, clinging to Matthew's arm.

"I don't know, we all use aliases so nobody can grass us up. I'm sorry Sadie, I phoned the police on the way here, they'll be here in a few minutes. I'm tired of running away. But I'll try and help any way I can."

"Tell me about this other guy."

"He was young, about Kaci's age, erm he was quite tall with blonde hair and dark eyes. He spoke like he came from that T.V. show…_the O.C._ or something. He was wearing quite a lot of bling as well, proper stuff mind not your run of the mill tat."

"Anything else?" Asked Sadie as she heard sirens not too far off, clutching at straws; desperate for anything that could point them in the right direction.

"Yeah he kept calling your sister Judey which I thought was quite weird. It was like he knew her. I though he was just some obsessed weirdo…" Matthew trailed off as a police car pulled up outside the mall. He hugged his sister goodbye and met the police officer half way. He didn't look at them as the police car passed Sadie and Kaci on the street.

Five minutes later Kaci turned to Sadie. "I'm really sorry Sadie, I didn't know he'd played a part in it. I would have never asked him to do something like that, sure I said make Kwest pay but I never meant anything like that."

"It's okay Kaci. It's not your fault, I blame Kwest."

"Yeah…did any of that stuff help by the way?" She asked quietly. Sadie thought for a moment, going back over the information. She stopped on the last bit and gasped aloud. "What is it?" Questioned Kaci, concerned by the look of utter panic on Sadie's face. Sadie ignored her and pulled out her cell phone, dialling Tommy's number.

"Hello?" Tommy's voice was hopeful, as hers always was whenever she answered the phone.

"Tommy it's Sadie. I think I know who has Jude."


	41. Chapter 41: Prison Break

Jude woke up hearing shouts coming from outside the room. She looked around still half asleep and saw that during the night he'd come in and tied her back up to the chair. Some things never changed. Jude wondered who he was arguing with this time. She couldn't make out exactly what they were arguing over, but she could tell that the argument was getting heated. Jude shifted slightly in her chair and was surprised when she felt the rope give slightly. Either it was getting really worn or he'd been disturbed when he was tying her up and so hadn't taken the usual amount of care to detail as usual. Either way if Jude had enough time she might be able to loosen the knots, and eventually free herself from the ropes. Jude gasped as the rope cut into her wrists as she wriggled around trying to get a grip on one of the knots behind her back. Eventually she managed to loosen the major knot in the ropes and could move her wrists more freely. Suddenly Jude stopped. The voices from outside were getting closer. Jude dropped the rope she had been loosening, tucking it into the mass of rope so it wouldn't be seen dangling. She didn't want to ruin her chances of getting free before they'd even started. The door was flung open and framed in the doorway stood Kwest and her captor. Jude scowled at him, what the hell was he doing here? Obviously not saving her. "Go on then." Prompted her captor . Kwest hesitated a moment before walking towards Jude. The door swung shut behind him and they were left alone. Jude opened her mouth but Kwest cut her off, holding a finger to his lips. He dug into his pocket and pulled out an army knife. Jude's eyes widened in fear. Surely Kwest wouldn't hurt her? "Go along with it, he thinks I'm gonna attack you." Kwest whispered as he flicked the blade up and cut through the ropes. Jude cried out as the blade accidentally pressed against her wrist and a bead of blood splashed on the floor. "Sorry." Kwest stood back. "The ropes aren't properly cut, but enough so if you struggle they'll break. I'll make sure the door isn't shut properly so you can get out when I distract him out there." Kwest jerked his head towards the door.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you involved in the first place?" Jude asked not quite understanding.

"I got involved because I was an idiot who made a really bad mistake, think Tommy mistake but not with the best friend." Kwest replied, referring to the Tommy and Kat situation.

"Oh."

"And I'm doing this now because I want to make up for that mistake and I don't want to see you get hurt, although it looks like you already have." Remarked Kwest, noticing the various cuts and bruises visible on Jude. "I'm so sorry Jude…" Kwest trailed off, standing up abruptly and marching towards the door. He banged on the door and yelled to be let out. "I'm finished, and I want a word with you!"

The door opened. "Yes?"

"You said she wouldn't be hurt! You lied you-"

"Ah I said I wouldn't kill her or cut off various body parts like some cheap horror movie. I never promised anything else. Now let's have a look at your handiwork. Untie her and bring her to me so I can see."

Kwest did as he was told, managing a little wink at Jude who took it as a hint he was going to try to get her out very soon, and led her over to the doorway where the light was better. Kwest held up where he had cut her wrist accidentally and showed him a new-ish looking bruise on her forehead that wasn't actually his doing.

"Let her go, she won't run away. There's nobody around for miles she can run to for help." Kwest followed command and stepped back as the other man circled her. When his back was turned Kwest pulled out his knife and flicked the blade up. Then with his spare hand, tapped the man on the shoulder and punched him when he turned around. In an instant Kwest and the other man were involved in a struggle on the floor. Kwest punched the other man and turned to Jude. "Jude, RUN!" He yelled before he was on the floor being strangled. Jude hesitated, unsure of what to do. Kwest fought off the man's grip and repeated his command to Jude. This time Jude paid attention and she ran. It turned out she was in an old house, where the shadows were dark and the ominous creaks were many. Jude kept on running, looking for a way to get out of the house and trying not to get lost in the many hallways. Just as Jude found the stairs to get downstairs a gunshot rung out through the house.

"Kwest…Kwest are you okay?" Jude yelled, praying for an answer from him. When she didn't get one she ran down the stairs, having guessed that Kwest had been the recipient of the shooting, and not the shooter. Jude had just reached the bottom of the stairs and was running towards the front door when he emerged from a side door.

"Hey Judey, where you going? Don't you wanna stay and play?" He asked, aiming the gun at her head. Jude froze as the familiar face taunted her once more.

"Chase." She whispered, more to herself than to him.

"Well done Jude, you remember my name. We seem to keep having this problem don't we? I want to see you, I want you to stay with me but you keep on running," Chase aimed a shot just above Jude's head. Jude screamed and ducked. "away from me." Chase started to walk towards Jude, the gun aimed at her head. Jude shot a look at the doorway, calculating whether or not she could make it in time. Chase caught the look and laughed. "Don't try it Judey." He warned. Jude decided she didn't have a chance of reaching the door, but she could still get away from him. Jude nodded and held up her hands in surrender.

"You're right. It would be stupid of me to try and get to the door." She admitted, getting ready to act. Chase smiled and lunged for her with one arm. Jude ducked and, when Chase was off balance, pushed him with all of her strength sending the gun sliding into the room behind them. Jude spun round and ran off, hoping Chase hadn't seen where the gun had gone.

Chase cursed and heaved himself up from the floor, looking around for the gun. He couldn't see it but he knew Jude didn't have it. Never mind, he thought, I don't need the gun. He took off after Jude. The chase was on.


	42. Chapter 42: Escape

Jude heard him panting as he tried to pick a door to run through, and she thanked God that she had stumbled into a room with three doors leading to different rooms. All she had to do now was wait and hope he'd choose a different door to the one she had, otherwise she'd have to run again and she was getting tired. She heard his heavy footstep's as he walked towards the door she'd run through and hidden behind. Jude held her breath, uttering a silent prayer that Chase would move away. Jude exhaled in relief as the footsteps changed direction, possibly heading towards the other side of the room. Jude waited until she had heard a door open and close before peeking through the crack between the door and it's frame. She saw that Chase was still there, watching the other two doors. Waiting for her. Jude quickly moved out of his line of vision, but so she could still see him. Eventually he strode over to the other door and went through it. Jude waited several seconds to make sure he had really gone before slowly, and most importantly quietly, sneaking back into the room and through the door that led to her pathway out of here. She froze as a floorboard creaked underneath her feet. Chase didn't come bursting through the door so Jude assumed he had gone far away to another part of the house. She reached for the door handle and cautiously opened the door. As she snuck through room after room Jude wondered where Chase was. As she reached the final room she spied the gun on the ground, she crouched down and had just picked it up when Chase burst through the door opposite. Jude drew herself up to full height and aimed the gun at him.

Chase laughed. "Oh Judey Jude you won't use that on me. You couldn't stand walking on flowers so how could you possibly shoot someone? You wouldn't even know how to!" Chase begun to edge towards her, sending Jude backing up against the door. Still keeping the gun aimed at Chase, Jude felt behind her for the door handle. When she found it she wrenched the door open and ran out of it, slamming the door shut and racing towards the front door. She grabbed the handle and found that it was locked. "Looking for this?" Questioned Chase dangling the door key from a string around his neck. "Come Jude you didn't think I wouldn't come back and lock this door did you? Now give me the gun and I'll go easy on you, there's a good girl."

"Bite me." Jude spat before turning and running through the door closest to her. So the front door was out, there was still a back door. She heard Chase laugh and wait a while before giving chase again. Jude bit down on her lip and ran faster, ignoring the sharp stabbing pains in her side from her stitch. If she didn't get out of here a stitch would be the least of her worries.

Jude had found the kitchen and somehow had managed to lose Chase. She leant against a kitchen cupboard panting as she waited for the stitch to ease of. Looking around Jude saw a key dangling from a string in the cupboard with the plates. She pulled the key from it's hook and unlocked the back door. Jude stumbled down the steps and ran across the garden, with no idea where she was actually going. She climbed up on the bench that was against the high fence and managed to clamber over the fence as she heard Chase's footsteps on the garden path. Jude swore, why couldn't he leave her alone?

Jude turned the corner and nearly burst into tears: a street, a horrid smelly vandalized street but a street all the same. A street full of people. Jude glanced over her shoulder and kept running. A woman with jet-black hair and a pram stopped her. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking concerned. Jude nodded, too out of breathe to speak. "Wait, are you Jude?" Jude nodded again hoping this woman wasn't a fan. "Sister of Sadie Taylor?" Jude nodded again, wondering who the heck this woman was. "My name's Kaci, follow me if you want to stay safe." Jude gave the woman a sceptic look but decided to follow her, it was that or have Chase catch up to her. "Your sister has been so worried about you, as have Tommy, Speid and Darius." Kaci told Jude as she unlocked the front door. She pushed Jude in and manoeuvred the pram into the house. "Listen can you look after Emily? I was on the way to the shops when you ran past. All her stuffs in that bag, I won't be long. Don't worry you'll be safe here. Just don't answer the door, I have a key and I'm not expecting anybody else." Jude nodded numbly and pulled the pram deeper into the house as Kaci ducked back out again. Emily begun to cry and Jude fished her out of the pram, taking her through to the kitchen so she couldn't be seen from the street. All she could do now was wait for Kaci to come back.

"Excuse me, you haven't seen my girlfriend Jude have you? About this tall, red hair. We had an argument and she ran off." Chase asked Kaci, not realising that Kaci was Matthew's sister and although she didn't know his name knew exactly who he was.

"No sorry…wait flaming red hair?" Chase nodded eagerly. "Yeah I have actually, she ran past me not too long ago. She went down that side street." Ad-libbed Kaci, pointing at a random street knowing that whatever street she pointed him down would have teenagers bunking off from school waiting for somebody to walk past them so they could start a fight. Kaci watched as Chase ran off down the side street before carrying on to the shops, pulling out the cell phone Matthew had bought her recently. "Hello, Sadie it's Kaci. You are not going to believe this. Can you meet me at my local shops? There's something I have to tell you."


	43. Chapter 43: The Reunion

"What was it you wanted Kaci? I have to be back soon, the police said they needed to talk to me about something…" Sadie ran a hand through her hair nervously as she followed Kaci back to her house. Kaci didn't say anything but unlocked her front door and went through to the kitchen where Jude could be heard quietly singing Emily to sleep. "I'm back, was Emily okay? Oh brilliant you've managed to get her to sleep. Thank you Jude." Kaci smiled at Jude as she took Emily back. "Go through to the lounge, there's someone in there who wants to see you." Jude stared at Kaci; she wouldn't double cross her would she? "Go on." Prompted Kaci, giving Jude a little push down the hallway.

Jude walked into the room to be deafened by Sadie's shriek and swept up into a hug. "Oh my God, Jude! You're okay. Oh thank God." Sadie broke down crying at the sight of her sister. Jude was also crying as she hugged her sister back. Kaci watched, smiling, from the doorway. Suddenly sirens filled the air and a gunshot rung out. Kaci handed Emily over to Sadie and ran to find out what it was. When she got back she was escorted by a police officer. Who, rather than go straight to Jude as expected, turned to Sadie

"Mrs Taylor?" He asked taking off his cap, not quite able to meet her eye. Sadie nodded nervously and he continued. "I'm terribly sorry, but there's been an accident. Mrs Taylor your husband is dead." The officer watched with detached sympathy as Sadie collapsed to the floor, sobbing horrifically and hiccupping loudly. Jude crouched down and took her sister in her arms as Kaci took back Emily and stepped out of the room, feeling out of place in amongst all the grieving. The officer placed a comforting hand on Sadie's shoulder before leaving the room to talk to Kaci about what happened next, so that Sadie could be informed.

Inside the lounge Sadie clung to Jude as if she were the younger sister, and Jude the older sister. Jude stroked her sister's hair as she sobbed and thought things through. There had been no sign of Kwest in the street or anywhere around the house as she had run. Kwest had died to save her life, and ultimately proved he loved Sadie even if he did mess things up. Jude was unsure as to what Sadie knew and so decided to keep quiet, biding her time, and comforted her distraught sister.

Several minutes later there was a knock at the front door, some voices and then there was a tentative knock on the lounge door. Jude looked up whilst Sadie simply stared ahead at the blank wall, completely stuck in a numb daze. The door opened and Tommy stepped into the room. Despite herself Jude smiled gleefully at him and felt her heart warm as he smiled back. No words were spoken but they exchanged a look that spoke a thousand words and more. Tommy sat next to Jude and hugged her awkwardly, trying not to disturb Sadie. Jude closed her eyes, exhausted by the past week's events, and fell asleep. Tommy kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her strawberry shampoo, tears sliding down his face as he held the only one he cared enough about to do what he had just done.


	44. Chapter 44: Proposal

That night Jude and Tommy carried Sadie upstairs. She was still acting as if she was in a daze, occasionally bursting into fresh tears, and hadn't spoken since hearing the news. She hadn't let Jude leave her either. Everytime Jude went to leave the room Sadie would grab hold of her or reach out to do so. If Jude actually managed to leave the room Sadie would follow her younger sister. Jude was relieved when Sadie finally fell asleep allowing her and Tommy to have a moment alone since she had escaped. Tommy grinned at Jude across the bed as they manoeuvred Sadie onto the bed and under the duvet. Jude smiled back, blowing a strand of hair from her forehead. Sadie shifted in her sleep and the pair froze, waiting to see if she'd wake up. When she didn't Tommy walked round the bed to Jude and took her hand, leading her out of the room and down the stairs.

"Tommy?"

"Mmmm?"

"How did you know where I was? Did Kaci call you too?"

"No, Kwest did. He said he'd heard you leaving, running in the direction of her street. He gave me directions there. Then he asked me to…to tell Sadie he loved her and was sorry. Then he was gone." Tommy avoided Jude's gaze, turning to stare out of the window and out into the night.

"Do you know what his secret was?" Tommy nodded in response to Jude's question. "Does Sadie know?" Jude continued, even though she was pretty sure she knew the answer. Tommy nodded again and Jude knew that she had to tell them about what had happened at Chase's house. "Chase was going to kill me, he would've killed me, if Kwest hadn't stopped him. Kwest distracted Chase and punched him. They got involved in a fight and Kwest yelled at me to run. I'd just got downstairs when I heard the gunshot. I called out for Kwest but there wasn't a reply. Then Chase suddenly appeared. I knew then that Kwest was gone. He sacrificed himself to save me Tommy. I know you think he's a bad guy but he made a mistake. Just like you." Jude stopped when she saw Tommy wince at the mention of the past. Then a thought occurred to her. "Tommy, why hasn't Charlie been brought here yet?" Tommy looked down at Jude and stroked her cheek tenderly.

"Always thinking of others Harrison. Charlie is going to get here next week; it took some time for his case to go through the courts. He stayed with Kat's parents while the case was going on because I said we couldn't take him quite yet. I said we had stuff to sort out, which we do."

"Like what?" Jude sat up. "He'll have his own stuff won't he?"

"Yeah he will, but Jude. The kid needs a home with both of us, not just me. I want us to be a proper family." Jude stared at him in amazement. Was he really saying what she thought he was? "Jude, I want you to move in with me."


	45. Chapter 45: Sadie's Mistake

"What's wrong Jude, don't you want to?" Tommy questioned worriedly after several minutes of silence. He hadn't been expecting this response from her, he'd thought she'd shriek and jump into his arms or something. Not sigh sounding disappointed and fall silent.

After a moment Jude replied, "Of course I do Tommy but what about Sadie? What about this house?"

Tommy frowned, "What about them?"

"Tommy!" Jude cried indignantly "Sadie has just lost her husband, we have just lost our mother and Sadie could have lost me! You've seen how she's reacted to all that. I cannot, no I won't, leave her here by herself."

"Jude I'm sorry, I didn't think. Why doesn't she move in with us?" Tommy added hastily, desperately trying to make amends.

"This is my family home. I grew up here; we had our first kiss here remember Tom? There are so many happy memories buried within these walls. How can I leave this house and all that it symbolises?"

"Jude if you don't want to move in just say so." Tommy snapped angrily, misinterpreting her reasoning as polite rejection. Jude shook her head savagely at him, raising her eyebrows and waiting for him to get her hints. "How about I move in here? Then you don't have to leave Sadie or the house, and Charlie can add to the happy memories?" Tommy pounced upon the thought and, unknowingly, what Jude had been hinting towards. Jude smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"That sounds delicious." She whispered, kissing him for the first time in nearly a week. "Mmmm I missed those lips." She confided to him.

Tommy grinned at her. "Well let's make up for lost time." He suggested, teasingly trailing kisses around her lips before meeting her lips.

The next morning Jude went to check on Sadie, who hadn't been heard from since last night when Tommy had Jude had left her sleeping in her bed. Jude knocked gently on the closed bedroom door. "Sades, Sadie you up? You want some breakfast?" Jude waited for a reply; when she didn't get one she pushed open the bedroom door to find the bed empty and made. Upon the duvet was a small pink envelope with Jude's name on it. Jude picked it up and opened the envelope, her eyes quickly scanned the note and she ran back downstairs calling Tommy's name. They ran into each other as he came rushing to her, thinking something was wrong with her. "Tommy drive me to the hospital, I have to stop Sadie making a huge mistake." Jude handed Tommy the note as she pulled on her shoes from where they'd been kicked off the previous night. Tommy shoved the note in his pocket and grabbed his car keys from the table. The pair ran out of the house and seconds later Tommy's viper went racing towards the hospital.

"What has she gone to the hospital for?" Asked Tommy as they ground to a halt at a set of traffic lights. He braked but didn't move his foot too far from the accelerator, ready for when the lights changed.

"In the note she said that she was sorry because she knew my views on it…Tommy was my sister pregnant?"

"Yeah…oh I see." Tommy bit his lip as the lights changed and he pressed his foot down on the accelerator.

Tommy had barely stopped the car when Jude was out of it and running towards the hospital entrance. Tommy leaned over and pulled the door shut before searching for a parking space in the crowded hospital car park.

Inside the hospital Jude scanned the hospital for her sister to no avail. A crowd of people passed and Jude had to wait for them to get out of her line of vision before she could scan the room again. Just in time Jude caught sight of her sister's blonde head heading towards a door. "Sadie!" Jude called out, running towards the figure. It turned around and Jude blushed as a stranger stared at her, confused. "Sorry I thought you were someone else." Mumbled Jude turning back to the hospital waiting room as Tommy entered it. He spotted Jude and crossed over to her.

"No sign?"

"None."

"Have you asked at reception?" Asked Tommy pointing out the obvious, knowing that Jude never thought straight at times like this.

"No." Admitted Jude feeling stupid for not having done so.

Tommy smiled knowingly and dragged Jude to the reception desk. "Excuse me, could you tell us if a Sadie Taylor has admitted herself?" Tommy asked the receptionist when she had turned to face them. The receptionist tapped on her keyboard before shaking her head. Tommy frowned, this was the nearest hospital and Sadie wouldn't have gone far.

"How about a Sadie Harrison?" Questioned Jude thinking that Sadie may have booked herself in under her maiden name. The receptionist tapped on her keyboard again before directing them to the second floor where Sadie was supposedly waiting for her abortion. Jude raced over to the elevator and was furiously jabbing the up button. Tommy thanked the nurse and joined Jude just as she emitted a muffled scream and jogged towards the stairs. Tommy decided to wait for the elevator. If Jude found Sadie alone there was a greater chance that Sadie could be talked out of her abortion.


	46. Chapter 46: The Revelation

"Sadie, Sades is that you?" Jude ran up to the blonde woman hunched up in the waiting room chairs. The woman raised her head and sure enough it was Sadie staring back at her with a dead expression. "Oh Sadie, what are you doing here? What's going on with you sis?" Jude crouched down in front of her broken sister and placed her hands on Sadie's shoulders. For a moment Sadie didn't say anything, or even make any outward signs that she'd even registered the fact that her younger sister was sitting in front of her. In the background Jude heard the elevator ping announcing its arrival on the floor and knew that Tommy was now present in the waiting room as well. She silently hoped that Tommy would leave them alone, although she'd never seen Sadie in this state before Jude had a feeling that she could just about persuade Sadie not to go through with this and open up to her provided nobody else tried to help. "Sades, talk to me." She gently urged, her voice just above a whisper that would be used to calm down a startled animal or frightened child.

"All I wanted was the perfect life. Why is that so hard to ask for? Why is it too much for me to have? All I wanted was a perfect marriage, some kids and a happy life. But oh no, my husband cheats on me then gets killed after being the cause of my sister's kidnap and attempted murder and then I get pregnant with his baby just when all I want to do is mourn and grieve for the husband I lost. Nothing ever goes right for me!"

Jude leant back slightly, startled by the bitterness in Sadie's voice. "Sades nobody has the perfect life, perfect is unachievable for anybody. And okay so Kwest was a jerk for cheating on you but Sadie he loved you so much. He died saving me; it's because of him that I am sitting here now talking to you. He saved my life Sadie, and he did it because he loved you. It was his apology. And this baby shouldn't be aborted Sades. It's the only memory of Kwest you'll have left. Sure you'll have photographs and memories in your mind but that baby growing inside of you will be the only living memory of him, and your love."

"It's easy for you to say that Jude. You have no idea how I'm feeling though."

"Don't I Sadie?" Jude's eyes shone with tears as the bad memories came flooding back. Apparently at the same time Sadie's memories of that time came back as well. Her eyes widened in horror as she realised what she had just said.

"Oh God Jude, I'm sorry!" Jude pushed back from her sister and headed for the stairwell, brushing off Tommy as he tried to call her back. She needed to be alone.

_Jude's flashback_

"_Miss Harrison?" Jude looked up as the doctor's calming voice called out her name. She met the doctor's eye and smiled nervously. The doctor walked over to her and crouched down in front of her. "There's no need to be nervous Jude, everything will be fine and if you don't want to do this there' s still time to turn back." He said gently. Jude shook her head stubbornly; she had to do this._

"_Are you sure?" The doctor asked for one last time as they wheeled her to surgery. Jude nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Then one of the nurses placed a mask over her mouth and the world drifted away from Jude as the anaesthetic kicked in…_

"What happened? Why does she look so upset? Sadie what haven't you two told me?" Tommy confronted Sadie as she made to go after Jude. Sadie stopped and sunk down into a nearby chair. "Sadie, what is it?" Asked Tommy worry coursing through him. Sadie looked up at him and, against her better judgement, begun to tell Tommy the whole story.

Outside the hospital Jude located the car in the car park and slid down the passenger side door until she was crouching on the floor, with the car as her support, and began to cry. She heard footsteps and somebody talking and quickly wiped away her tears, waiting and hoping that she wouldn't be seen- the last thing she needed was some overenthusiastic fan. Jude groaned inwardly as a young woman appeared and spotted her. "Are you okay Miss?" She questioned in broken English. Jude nodded and smiled, refusing to reply verbally knowing that it would betray her inner torment somehow. The woman seemed satisfied with her response and walked on. Jude exhaled in relief and allowed the memories to take over again.

Back inside the hospital Sadie and Tommy had managed to persuade a member of staff to allow them access to a private room so they could discuss things alone rather than risk people hear what Sadie had sworn to never tell. Tommy was sitting on the bed, watching Sadie expectantly, whilst Sadie had crossed to the window and was staring out of it wondering if the red head she could just about make out in the car park was Jude. Eventually Tommy coughed awkwardly jerking Sadie out of her own thoughts. She joined Tommy on the bed and pulled her knees up to her chin, the irony of which wasn't lost on Tommy as he'd seen Jude do that many a time when something upsetting was happening or had happened. Sadie opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. Tommy placed a comforting hand on her back and Sadie managed to get the words out.

"It was after the whole Chase situation. She'd come back from Laguna Beach and she was so withdrawn. She wouldn't talk to anybody. Then Jamie moved in next door and they struck up a friendship. One day I found Jude crying in her room, she told me that she'd just had an argument with Jamie but she'd be okay. Well I just assumed it was the truth so I went to work. When I came back home that day Jamie was in our living room with Jude watching a movie so I didn't mention earlier to her. Later on that week we were watching TV, just the two of us because Kwest was working, when a programme about abortion came on. Something about how the rates of abortion were rising and stuff. I didn't pay that much attention at the time but Jude suddenly went white and ran off. I went after her and she fobbed me off again, saying that she probably had a bug or something. It was only when she finally admitted what had happened with Chase that she came clean about that as well…"

_Sadie and Jude's joint flashback_

_Jude pulled out the sheet of paper and wordlessly handed it over to Sadie. Sadie frowned but took it from her. As she read the just about legible doctor's scrawl on the paper she finally understood why Jude had been crying that day in her room. Sadie looked up from the paper and followed Jude into the kitchen where she was staring out of the window. "Jude, why didn't you tell me? We could've discussed this. I could've helped you. Why didn't you just keep the baby and when it was born give it up for adoption? People do that a lot these days."_

_Jude turned on her sister, tears escaping from her eyes as quickly as she impatiently brushed them away. "Sadie, Chase raped me! I can't think about what he did without feeling like curling up and dying, how the heck am I meant to carry around the result of what he did to me for nine months? And what if I did keep it, and gave it up for adoption. They'd find out soon enough they were adopted- what if it came looking for me? How could I tell it that it was only born because their mum got raped? How could I do that Sades? How could I cope, huh? Could you manage that? No I think not! You haven't gone through half of what I've gone through so don't soften your voice and tell me we can talk this through Sades because we can't!" Jude's voice broke as her emotions heightened throughout this outburst but she carried on. "I hurt like hell Sadie, but I have to pretend that none of this happened. I have to act like little miss perfect pop star because that's what I get paid to do. I have to smile and act happy and laugh when all I want to do is DIE! So don't you dare even contemplate telling me that I'll be okay and I'll get over it like it's some bruise or a lost pet because it's not a bruise, and it's not a lost pet and I won't get over it. I have to live with my decision for the rest of my life and I already regret it now so how the heck am I meant to get over it when my guilt is growing every day? How am I meant to carry on like normal when I can't even remember what normal is?" _

_At that moment the front door slammed, indicating that Kwest was home from G Major. Jude turned to her sister. "This never leaves our mouths." She demanded before slipping out the back door and into the night…_

In the hospital room Tommy stared straight ahead at the blank wall as the information Sadie told him sunk in. Finally he managed to gather his thoughts and utter, "Jude never told me."

Sadie snorted. "Of course she didn't. You weren't there when it happened and after a while she managed to push it to the back of her mind. Oh I'm not saying she forgot about it," Sadie amended as Tommy raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Jude learned to live with it and I learned to never mention it. I had to let her get on with it the way she wanted to, which was to throw herself into her music. Chase never knew obviously because Jude swore she'd never speak to him again. I was the only person who knew, apart from the doctor obviously, and I'd been sworn to secrecy. I always assumed that she'd tell you in her own time but then again I didn't plan on any of this happening either so there you go…" Sadie trailed off and ran a hand through her hair, only just realising that it was beginning to rain heavily. Sadie hoped Jude had the sense to be indoors in this weather. The last thing they needed was Jude catching pneumonia.

Outside Jude barely even felt the rain. She could see it and she could hear it hitting the ground and cars but she made no move to go inside. Jude liked the rain; it masked the fact she was crying. She stared at the hospital building looming up against the black sky and wondered if Sadie had gone through with the abortion. She contemplated going back inside but couldn't face it- the memories were still to fresh in her mind after all that time ignored. She just hoped that Tommy had managed to persuade Sadie against it. She'd hate Sadie to have to go through even half of what the abortion ward evoked within her.


	47. Chapter 47: Welcome Home

Tommy left Sadie at the main reception to sign some paperwork and went of in search of Jude. They hadn't found her in the building so Tommy headed for the car, just in case Jude was waiting there for him. When he first saw the car he couldn't see her anywhere, however as he drew closer to it he spotted Jude hunched up in a ball shivering. He broke into a sprint and pulled his jacket off his own body as he got closer to Jude and saw that her clothes were completely soaked and clinging to her. Jude looked up at the sound of feet pounding the tarmac and tried to force a small smile for Tommy. He shook his head at her and wrapped the jacket around her freezing body before pulling her to him. It was only when he spoke that she realised he was crying. "Don't ever scare me like that okay?" Jude gave up even trying to speak as her teeth chattered their own melody and nodded into his embrace. Tommy gripped her even more tightly and kissed the top of her head. "I love you so much Jude, I love you, I love you, I love you." He murmured almost frantically. Jude said nothing but she clung to him tighter.

They were still clinging to each other when Sadie arrived at the car ten minutes later. "Oh my gosh Jude you're soaked through! Get up off the floor both of you; you'll both catch pneumonia at this rate. Tommy why didn't you get her straight into the car with the heating on? Honestly it's like I'm the only one who thinks straight around here!" Jude allowed herself a small smile as Tommy helped her to her feet and unlocked the car. Jude was about to climb into the passenger seat when Sadie stopped her. "No way Jude, I get shotgun."

"Erm, why?"

"Well would you shove a pregnant woman into the backseat or let her claim shotgun?" Sadie queried, a grin forming on her face.

"Wait you mean…?" Jude left the question unspoken, scared of the reply.

"I couldn't go through with it Jude. You were right. It's my last living memory of him." Sadie said with her hand placed over her belly. Jude smiled and stepped aside to let Sadie have the passenger seat.

They were halfway home when Tommy's cell started to ring. Jude leaned forward and grabbed it from Tommy's hand when he went to answer it. "Not while your driving." She reprimanded flipping it open to take the call for him. "Hello Tom Quincy's phone, how may I help you?" Jude's eyes widened as the person on the other end of the phone spoke. Tommy caught her eye in the wind mirror and mouthed 'what is it?' at her. Jude flapped her hand, getting him to pull over. Tommy indicated and pulled into a nearby supermarket car park and turning out the engine. Both Tommy and Sadie turned to face Jude as she asked the person to hold for a moment, placed a hand over the speaker and looked at Tommy. "It's Elaine, she wants to know if we can take Charlie sooner than planned."

"How sooner?" Prompted Sadie, having a good idea already what the response would be.

"Today sooner."

Tommy didn't say anything as he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the car door. However even Elaine could her him when he started jumping up and down cheering and yelling for everyone to hear. "I'm getting my son back!" Jude joined Sadie in laughing and closed the phone call. Eventually Tommy calmed down enough to get back in the car. Upon being handed back his cell he stared at Jude. "What did you tell Elaine?" He asked, a look of worry appearing upon his features.

"That we'd be delighted to and we'll be there as soon as possible." Supplied Jude, her grin matching Tommy's. Tommy cheered again and, rather awkwardly, pulled Jude to him and kissed her in the car. Sadie turned her gaze out of the window, not quite wanting to watch her sister make out with her boyfriend.

A few hours later and the four of them pulled up outside the house. Jude ran ahead to unlock the door and Tommy threw the car keys to Sadie so she could lock the car as he spun Charlie around before picking up his son's small suitcase and walking up the garden path. "Welcome home son." He whispered quietly to his wide-eyed child.


	48. Chapter 48: 3 Months Later

_Three months later_

_In the past three months Tommy moved the majority of his stuff into the Harrison house and Charlie also settled in well. Whilst Tommy and Jude talk about Kat to Charlie he doesn't quite remember her, he does however know that Jude isn't his mum. Sadie's pregnancy had been going brilliantly and, under Jude's persuasion, Sadie went to counselling to cope with Kwest's death. Jude was working on a whole new album and Darius, although sympathetic of all that she'd been through, was pressing for it to get finished. On days when both Tommy and Jude were required at G Major, Sadie would look after Charlie if he wasn't at nursery. Jamie had recently contacted Jude, having only just heard about her kidnap, for a catch up and was scheduled to visit in a few weeks time._

"So what time is Andrews arriving?" Tommy threw a marshmallow at Jude as she lazed on one of the sofas in G Major's lobby strumming on her guitar. Jude located the marshmallow and threw it at Tommy's head as he walked past her.

"I don't know Tommy, why so curious?" She grabbed her pen from the table and scribbled down a chord sequence before turning back to her guitar.

"Just wondering, I thought I could get Darius to let you have the day off or if it was a late flight then the day after. Or both, I mean we could do both…"

"Tommy," Jude smiled at his attempts to remain nonchalant when she knew that he was worried he'd lose Jude to the 'Jude and Jamie show' as he had once called it. "I am not taking any extra days off. Jamie has got stuff to do while he's here and insisted that I work rather than take days off anyway. Oh and he said he wanted to take us out to dinner one night too."

"Us?" Tommy was puzzled; usually Jamie was just polite to him- nothing more, nothing less- as if despite where they were now Tommy would hurt Jude. It was something that aggravated Tommy beyond reason but he never reacted to it, justifying it as a friend's concern rather than anything else. However Tommy had always had his suspicions about Jamie's feelings for Jude.

"Yeah us. You, me and Sadie."

"What about Charlie?" Maybe Tommy could use the lack of Charlie's involvement as a way out of this proposed dinner.

"Babysitter, Tommy you are not getting out of this. I swear there's some kind of problem between you and Jamie. You guys have never bonded like you and Speid did, or Kwest." Jude ended quietly. There was an awkward silence, as their eyes met, neither wanting to speak first. This was a frequent occurrence whenever Kwest came up between them. Jude broke their gaze first, turning back to her notebook. "I have a song ready if you want to record." She mumbled, suddenly feeling stupid. Why did Tommy never want to talk about that day?

"Okay Jude Harrison new album, first song. Take one, recording…_now._"

Jude smiled at Tommy's producer face. She struck the first chord and allowed all her thoughts to drift away as the music took over…

**Ah, ah, ah  
You're so good to me baby, baby**

I wanna lock you up in my closet when no one's around  
I wanna put your hand in my pocket because you're allowed  
I wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound  
I wanna stay this way forever I'll say it loud

Now you're in, you can't get out

You make me so hot  
Make me wanna drop  
It's so ridiculous  
I can barely stop  
I can hardly breathe  
You make me wanna scream  
You're so fabulous  
You're so good to me baby, baby  
You're so good to me baby, baby

I can make you feel all better, just take it in  
And I can show you all the places you've never been  
And I can make you say everything that you've never said  
And I will let you do anything again and again

Now you're in, you can't get out  


**You make me so hot  
Make me wanna drop  
It's so ridiculous  
I can barely stop  
I can hardly breathe  
You make me wanna scream  
You're so fabulous  
You're so good to me baby, baby  
You're so good to me baby, baby**

Kiss me gently  
Always I know  
Hold me, love me  
Don't ever go  
Ooh, yeah, yeah

You make me so hot  
Make me wanna drop  
It's so ridiculous  
I can barely stop  
I can hardly breathe  
You make me wanna scream  
You're so fabulous  
You're so good to me baby, baby  
You're so good to me baby, baby

**You make me so hot  
Make me wanna drop  
It's so ridiculous  
I can barely stop  
I can hardly breathe  
You make me wanna scream  
You're so fabulous  
You're so good to me baby, baby  
You're so good to me baby, baby**

You're so good

Tommy stopped recording and entered the studio. Jude placed her guitar down, resting it against the music stand, and walked to meet him. "Well?" She enquired coyly. By way of response Tommy leant down and kissed her. When they pulled apart Jude was blushing, a common occurrence of Tommy's kisses. "That good huh?" She whispered, Tommy grinned and made a noncommittal noise before pulling her back in for another kiss.


	49. Chapter 49: Baby Class

"Hey Sades, how was baby club? Did you play nice with all the other expectant mummies?" Jude ducked as Sadie threw a pillow at her head laughing. Sadie really suited pregnancy and she'd been walking around almost glowing. Sadie stuck her tongue out at Jude before replying.

"I always play nice Jude, it's the others who don't. They all show up with their breathing exercise books and stupid little yoga mats and bags of baby clothes that look like something Charlie could rig up in his sleep, and then they look down their noses at me because I don't have any of the stuff they have. It's so irritating and I'd leave if it wasn't so childish and of course it's the best class that's nearby. Funnily enough I don't fancy driving for ages to get to class when I'm heavily pregnant."

"Yeah funny that. So you're going again next week?" Jude asked, already knowing the answer would be a resounding 'yes'. There was no way Sadie would let something like this get to her.

"Nah I might skip next week's class…" Sadie replied as she ambled into the kitchen. Jude throw a worried glance at Tommy, who had been watching the whole exchange with a bemused expression on his face, and scrambled up from the sofa to follow Sadie. She found her sister sitting at the breakfast bar with a tub of ice cream. Upon seeing her Sadie looked embarrassed at being caught out and held up a spare spoon. Jude shook her head and slid into the seat next to Sadie. Sadie caught Jude's suspicious look and feigned innocence. "What? It's only ice cream. I'll buy another one if you're that upset over it."

"It's not the ice cream Sades and you know it," Jude sighed picking up the spare spoon lying on the counter and digging into the ice cream alone with Sadie. "Why are you skipping next week's class?"

"No reason, I just thought I'd take a break from it that's all." Sadie smiled absentmindedly.

"Sadie." Jude reprimanded, knowing there had to be another reason behind her sister's reluctance.

"Fine, I'll tell you. I'm not going next week because it's a father session. All the women bring in the dads and we all go through the breathing exercises together. I'm already an outcast because I don't know any of them so imagine how it'll be with me going there minus the baby's dad."

"Well it's a bit hard to bring along a dead man to a baby class Sadie, I'm sure they'll understand."

"No they won't. So I just won't go. I'll say I had a bad bout of morning sickness that day. Simple." Sadie grabbed the ice cream tub back from Jude and started to chip away at a chunk of chocolate in the tub. Jude rolled her eyes at her sister's weird behaviour. Suddenly an idea hit her, she sat up straight and proceeded to relay it to her sister…

_Next week at the baby class_

"Oh my gosh, hi Sadie. How are you?" One of the women greeted Sadie with the fakest smile she'd ever seen as Sadie and her substitute dad walked into class.

"Erm fine thanks, oh Hilary this is Tommy. The baby's erm, uncle." She finished lamely already aware of the interest Tommy was generating. She should have known this would happen. Even though Boyz Attack was long over Tommy was still a very public face.

"Oh right, the uncle." Hilary winked as if in on some big secret and Sadie resisted the urge to slap her smug face. Hilary obviously thought that Sadie and Tommy were secret lovers or something. At this thought Sadie smiled to herself and laughed quietly. Tommy met her eyes behind Hilary's back and grinned back.

"Come on Sades, we better find a space." He said, desperate to get away from this irritating woman, offering her his arm. As they crossed to the far corner of the room, far away from Hilary and her cronies who were watching them avidly as they set up for class, Tommy whispered to Sadie. "Why the hell did I agree to this again?"

Sadie grinned and kissed his cheek, enjoying the scandalous looks from Hilary and co. it earned her. "Because you love Jude, now stop complaining and help me with my breathing exercises."


	50. Chapter 50: Scandal

_EXCLUSIVE: TOM QUINCY'S SECRET CHILD. All the details inside, page 6._

_Ex Boyz Attack member Tom Quincy has fathered a secret love child. Not only that but he's kept it in the family with his involvement with girlfriend, Jude Harrison, and her sister Sadie. Tom was present at Sadie Harrison's baby class during the father session earlier this week. Our source Hilary says "They were acting very loved up and tried to keep a distance from everyone else. We always wondered why Sadie never mentioned who the dad of her baby was and now we know why." Sadie is three months pregnant and lives with sister, pop sensation Jude Harrison, Tommy, and Tommy's child fathered from an affair with the recently deceased best friend of Jude known only as Kat. _

Tommy stopped reading the article at that point to throw it across the room emitting a furious yell as he did so. Jude came running into his room in a fluffy dressing gown with a towel wrapped around her head like a turban. She raised her eyebrows humorously and bent down to pick up the newspaper. Her eyes quickly scanned the article as Tommy sat on the bed watching her. "Well, they certainly like you don't they Tommy." She quipped, tossing the paper into the nearby bin. "Right Mr Casanova you, any other secret children you'd like to tell me about now?" She crossed her arms with mock seriousness.

"Jude this isn't funny!" Tommy cried out hitting the bed with the palm of his hand in frustration. "They've made me out to be some utter ba-"

"Tommy." Jude warned shaking her head just as Charlie appeared in the doorway, peeping out from around Jude's figure.

"Hey champ, what's up?" Tommy quickly switched a smile on to put his son at ease. Despite having settled in well Charlie was still nervous whenever anyone shouted, even on television. Charlie whimpered and tightened his grip on Jude's dressing down. Jude smiled gently and looked down at him and melted inside as his chocolate brown eyes of innocence gazed into hers. She scooped him up and carried him over to the bed, jumping backwards onto it and managing to get Charlie to laugh. "Jude, what are we going to do? You're the people's pop princess and I've been painted as a villain. Stupid Hilary with her stupid nosey beak." Jude laughed and Tommy raised his hands in defence. "What! You should've seen the size of her nose: it was unnaturally big!" Jude laughed and Charlie soon picked up on the happy atmosphere and relaxed in Jude's arms.

"What's unnaturally big?" Asked Sadie appearing in the doorway with a mug of coffee and a piece of toast.

"Hilary…or rather her nose." Supplied Jude tickling Charlie with glee.

"Ah okay. Wait, why are we talking about her?"

"She told the tabs that I was the father of your baby. And they found out about Kat." Tommy nodded towards the bin and Sadie fished the newspaper out of it so she too could read the incriminating article. When she was finished she dropped it back in the bin with a look of disgust.

"Good filing system, I can't believe that! Tommy I'm so sorry about this."

Tommy held up a hand, stopping Sadie's apologies. "It's fine Sades. We know the truth and the people we care about know the truth." A contemplative silence fell over the room

"Right," Jude broke the silence first. She handed Charlie over to Tommy who received a hug from his happy son and stood up. "I have to go get ready or I won't be one of Darius' favourite people. Tommy you have the day off, enjoy it. Sades I'll see you later." With that she ran from the room, unravelling her turban and drying her hair as she made her way to her bedroom. A quick glance at the clock told her that she didn't have that long to get ready, in fact she had about ten minutes to get dressed, do her make-up and hair, grab something to eat and head to G Major.

Fifteen minutes later Jude rushed into G Major clutching an apple and a bottle of water. Darius poked his head out of his office. "You're late Miss Harrison." He remarked cheerfully. Jude smiled back and managed to look abashed before Speiderman grabbed her arm and dragged her into a studio.

"Erm, hi?" Jude finally managed to stutter. "Hang on Speid why are you setting up the microphone?" Jude asked staring on in befuddlement as Speid ran around the room looking a bit like a younger version of Kwest. Well the looks of concentration matched.

"Darius agreed to let me be a producer. Relax Jude I know what I'm doing. Hey nice article in the tabs today. Very flattering." He said, referring to the 'expose' on Tommy's secret love child. Jude rolled her eyes, a look that was not wasted on Speid. "Hey chill out, it's a totally bogus story but we all know the truth. You all ready?" Jude nodded and grabbed her guitar from where she'd left it yesterday, set up all she had to set up and nodded at Speid to start the recording.

**There's a good kind of pain  
An insane kinda sane**

**When I'm around you**

**When I'm around you**

There a chill in the heat  
Feel the sky at my feet cuz I adore you  
I cant ignore you

I'm not ill I don't need to  
Take a pill to fix what you do  
Cure can't come through  
Cuz baby all I do is suffer from  
The symptoms of you

There is a left kinda right  
There is a blind kinda sight  
Looking at you

**Looking at you**

**  
There is no light in the moon**

**And its winter in June  
When I'm without you**

**When I'm without you**

I'm not ill I don't need to  
Take a pill to fix what you do  
Cure can't come through  
Cuz baby all I do is suffer from  
The symptoms of you

And it trips me off my feet  
I think I'm falling in too deep  
Do you feel it too?

I'm not ill I don't need to  
Take a pill to fix what you do  
Cure can't come through  
Cuz baby all I do is suffer from  
The symptoms of you

**I'm not ill and I don't need to  
Take a pill to fix what you do  
Cure can't come through  
Cuz baby all I do is suffer from  
The symptoms of you**

**La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la**

Speid stopped the recording and grinned at Jude. "Awesome take dude Jude, no guesses for who that was about." Jude grinned back at him and motioned for him to come in to the room. When he did Jude shut the door and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Speid there's this song I want to record, it's about all the bad stuff that happened with me and it's kinda for Sadie as well. But I don't know if I can record it." She looked up at him nervously biting her lip. As if he understood what she was thinking Speid crossed the small distance between them and pulled her into a hug, making soothing noises as she cried into his chest. When her tears subsided she pulled away and gently pushed him back. "I want to record it, now. Quickly." Speid nodded and quickly set up for the new recording. Jude nodded at him to start recording and spoke into the microphone. "This is for anyone who's ever been left by love, or has doubted what they had. Ultimately this is for my sister. I love you big sis." As she played Jude closed her eyes tightly, determined not to cry. Whilst this was really a song for Sadie it affected Jude as well because the chorus was part of a song she'd written just after Tommy had left.

**Hold your head up high  
You're never wrong  
Somewhere in the right you belong  
You would rather fight than walk away  
What a lonely way to breathe the air  
What an unlovely way to say you care  
Now we're too far gone for me to save  
And I never thought that we'd come to this**

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye  
(no one's wrong or right, you would rather fight, then you walk away)  
There's just no reason left to try  
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)  
You push me away  
Another black day  
Let's count up the reasons to cry  
Look what you've missed, living like this  
Nobody wins (nobody wins)

Searching for the truth in your eyes  
Found myself so lost don't recognize  
The person now that you, you claim to be  
Don't know when to stop, or where to start  
You're just so caught up in who you are  
Now you're far too high for me to see  
I'd never thought that we'd come to this

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye  
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)  
There's just no reason left to try  
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)  
You push me away  
Another black day  
Let's count up the reasons to cry  
Look what you've missed, living like this  
Nobody wins (nobody wins)

You never say you're sorry  
Try to tell me that you love me  
But don't - it's too late to take it there

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye  
(no one's wrong or right, you're about fly, then you walk away)  
There's just no reason left to try  
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)  
You push me away  
Another black day  
Let's count up the reasons to cry  
Look what you've missed, living like this  
Nobody wins

(Now it's gone too far, look at where we are)

Nobody wins

Jude shakily exhaled and stepped away from the microphone to wipe her eyes before Speid could see how upset that song had made her. She'd forgotten how much emotion had gone into that one song when she'd written it. "Speid, can I have a copy of that song to take home? I want to play it to Sadie." Speid reluctantly agreed and set about ripping it onto the studio computer so he could burn it onto another disc for her. Whilst this was happening Jude pulled out her mobile and sent a text. _I love you x._ She pressed send and a couple of seconds later her phone vibrated with a next message.

Jude smiled at the reply _I love you more x _and slipped her phone back into her pocket just as Speid held up the disc with her song for Sadie on it. "Hey Speid, set up to record then come in here. I have another song but it's got two guitar lines. Play with me?" She beseeched. Speid's eyes lit up and he practically bounded into the room. Jude handed him the notes for his guitar line and spoke into the microphone as she had done with the previous song. "This one's for Tommy." Jude indicated for Speid to start his guitar line and grinned at how cool it sounded, just as it had in her head. As he started Speid spotted Kyle and Wally goofing around in the lobby. He caught their attention and soon the whole of SME was back with Jude adding another guitar line and a drum line. Jude's smile stretched even further at how amazing the song now sounded with all of them working together.

**Sick of the lines they're feeding me  
I never know what to believe  
In a world that's crushing me  
You're the only one I see**

I don't change my mind for anybody  
I won't waste my time on just anybody  
I won't share my life

**(With anyone but you)  
Its such a long road  
(With anyone but you)  
I couldn't follow  
(With anyone but you)  
Never anyone but you**

They put my poster on the wall  
They watch and wait for me to fall  
They think they've made me who I am  
Well they do know me at all, mmm  


**I don't change my mind, for anybody  
I won't waste my time, on just anybody  
I won't share my life**

**(With anyone but you)  
It's such a long road**

**(With anyone but you)  
I couldn't follow  
(With anyone but you)  
Never anyone but you, never anyone but you  
(With anyone but you)  
It's such a long way**

**(With Anyone But You)  
I couldn't follow  
(With anyone but you)  
Never anyone but you**

They build you up so high  
So you can hardly see the stars beneath your feet  
I'm falling through the cloud  
They'll be the last to catch me

Ah, ah, ah  
(With anyone but you)  
It's such a long road  
(With anyone but you)  
I couldn't follow...  
(With anyone but you)  
Never anyone but  
Never anyone but  
(With anyone but you)  
It's such a long road  
(With anyone but you)  
And I couldn't follow...  
(With anyone but you)  
Never anyone but you

Speid ran through to stop recording and Jude jumped on Kyle and Wally knowing full well that they wouldn't submit to a hug in any other way. "Awww I love you guys, my song now rocks!" Kyle and Wally pushed her off, embarrassed by the show of affection. Jude giggled and flung her arms around Speid as he came back into the room. "That was amazing!" She squealed as he spun her around laughing. Darius came into the room and Speid proceeded to play him the three tracks Jude had just recorded. Darius singled out 'Anyone but you' as Jude's follow up single to 'Hot', which had been released that morning and was, according to Darius, doing brilliantly in the charts.

Suddenly outside there was a flurry of activity and Sadie's substitute, Tiffany, appeared at the doorway. "Erm Jude the police are here, they want to talk to you about something."


	51. Chapter 51: Confession

The first thing that came to Jude's mind was that they'd found Chase. Maybe they'd found him and he'd admitted everything thus saving her having to give evidence in court. But why had it taken so long? She stepped out of the studio and walked straight up to the waiting police officer. "Hi, I'm Jude. I was told you were here to see me." She held out her hand for the officer to shake and fixed a smile on her face. The female officer shook her hand and asked if there was a quiet room they could go to, for privacy. Jude took the officer to Studio C, which was always empty, and shut the door behind them.

"Perhaps you should take a seat Miss Harrison, the news I have may distress you." Jude sat down and started to take deep breaths, pleading in her mind for this not to be about Tommy, Sadie or Charlie. "Shortly after your escape we found the body of a white Caucasian male, he was approximately twenty years of age and had sandy blonde hair." Jude realised instantly who she was talking about but couldn't quite register what she was being told. Was Chase _dead_? "He had received several hits to the face and upper torso as well as a single stab wound in his abdomen. He had also been shot several times, once in the neck, the head and the groin. Suffice to say we have reason to believe he was murdered but we don't believe it was a mugging gone wrong because he still had his wallet and mobile phone when we found him. We believe it was a pre-meditated murder." Jude stared at the officer, wondering why she was being told all this. "Jude can you think of anybody who would do this? I know your ordeal was horrific but can you recall any names or faces mentioned?" Jude shook her head slowly, as she gradually became more numb and distant from the scene playing out in the studio. "Okay Jude, you have a think about it and call the station if you think of anything that might help us. We'll call round later tonight to speak to the other members of your household."

Jude nodded as the officer let herself out of the room. Suddenly a thought hit Jude: Tommy. She pulled out her mobile and dialled Tommy. "Tommy, can…can you come pick me up? Somethings happened." Jude hung up before he could reply and headed out to the car park, ignoring SME and Darius' questioning. As Tommy pulled up Jude slid into the passenger seat and locked the door. Facing Tommy she asked him a question. "Tommy, that day I escaped you appeared at Kaci's despite not knowing where she lived or even that I was there. You just showed up but nobody had called you…why were you even in that area?"

"I told you, Kwest phoned me." Tommy lied, not meeting Jude's gaze.

"Tommy! Kwest was dead before I left the house. There is no way he knew I was going to Kaci's. I didn't even know who she was myself when I ran into her so how the heck was I meant to know where she lived?" Jude hit the dashboard and changed tack. "Tommy, Chase is dead and the police are asking questions. Did you have anything to do with it?" She stared at him pleadingly, not wanting to hear a confirmation from him.

"Jude let's go home where we can talk about this."

"Tommy no, tell me you didn't do it. Tommy please." She begged, her numbness giving way to terror.

"I did it for you Jude, I did it so he couldn't hurt you anymore. I was _protecting_ you. Kwest phoned me on his way to the house you were in, he told me where he was going and mentioned Chase's name. So I took a cab there. I heard the gunshot and ran round the back when I couldn't get the front door open. I saw you jump over the fence and saw something drop out of your back pocket. I waited for Chase to follow before going to see what it was. I followed both of you to that street and watched you go into Kaci's house then I went after Chase: he'd been beaten up by some gang who scarpered when I showed up with the gun. I confronted him and he gloated about it. He gloated about everything he'd done to you and I just couldn't bear it. The gun was in my hand and before I knew what had happened I'd shot him three times. I panicked. I threw the gun down a nearby drain where the cover had broken and ran to Kaci's house. " Tommy lifted her face to his and pleaded earnestly, desperately trying to get her to understand. "But it's okay Jude. I won't say anything, and you don't have to tell anybody what happened because I did it so you'd be safe. We can deny what really happened, blame it on the gang and then you, Charlie and me can get on with our lives. See?"

"No Tommy, no, no, no. Tommy you killed someone! What about if you get caught? What if they arrest you and you go to jail. What am I meant to tell Charlie if that happens? Daddy shot a bad man who hurt me so he's gone away for a while? I don't think so!" Jude buried her head in her hands and broke into quiet sobs. When Tommy tried to console her she shrugged him off muttering something that sounded like 'murderer' under her breath. Tommy sighed and drove them home.


	52. Chapter 52: Memories

When they arrived home Jude stormed straight upstairs and locked herself in her room. She wouldn't open the door to Tommy or Sadie and even told Charlie to go away when the little boy knocked on the door. Eventually they left her alone and Jude felt it was finally safe to unlock her door. Some time later she drifted off to sleep. When she woke up Tommy was sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her. Jude sat up and moved away from him. Tommy looked at her sadly and Jude saw his tear stained face illuminated by the moon's ray. "Why did you do it Tommy?" She asked him softly. "Why couldn't you just leave it, the police would have caught him and I would've been safe."

"No Jude. They wouldn't catch him. People like him, they never get caught. They always get away with it until it's too late and somebody gets hurt, or worse."

"What do you mean?" Jude shifted slightly closer to Tommy, sensing another revelation coming from him.

"My sister, Angela, met a guy like Chase. Heck she loved him, she married him and had his child."

"I don't remember you having a sister."

"Neither do I, because technically I didn't. She died before I was born. He…he murdered her because she left him and took their child after he had an affair. He stalked her everywhere but the police wouldn't listen. He broke into her house and stole from her, he beat her and he raped her but still they wouldn't do anything," Tommy's breath caught in his throat and he shakily took a deep breath. Jude slipped her arms around him, signalling that he didn't have to carry on but he did.. "Until one night he broke in again. By now she had a new boyfriend and he'd moved in. The boyfriend confronted him but he shot him at point blank range. Angela heard the shot and ran to the baby's bedroom. He caught her trying to climb out of the window with the baby. He shot her in the back and she fell. Both her and the baby died when they hit the ground but that wasn't enough for him. He shot them both from the window before turning the gun on himself. He didn't even have the balls to face up to what he did. He destroyed an entire family just as my sister was getting her life back together." Jude held Tommy as his furious sobs stopped him from speaking any more, eventually they died down and he turned to Jude looking like a broken man. He placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her gently before whispering. "I just didn't want that to happen to you. I didn't want him to hurt you anymore." Jude went to reassure him but found that she was crying too and simply nodded.

The next morning when Sadie went to wake Jude up she found Tommy and Jude lying on top of the bed. Jude was curled up in the foetal position and Tommy had wrapped his arms around her. They both looked so peaceful that Sadie decided not to wake them up quite yet. G Major could wait. Sadie took Charlie to his playgroup and went food shopping before arriving back home to wake the pair up. She arrived home to The Police song "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" blaring out at full volume from Jude's room. Sadie ran upstairs to demand that she turn it down. She stopped in the doorway and took in the scene in front of her. Jude and Tommy were laying on the floor of Jude's bedroom looking through a bunch of paper, to one side lay two old shoeboxes and a nightgown. Sadie slowly stepped into the room and bent down to their level. "Erm guys, what are you doing?" She asked, curiosity taking over her sensible side.

"Memory boxes. We found Tommy's old one and I still had mine. We're just going through them now."

"I didn't know you guys made memory boxes!"

"Not any old memory boxes, memory boxes of our relationship." Jude grinned and held up a framed picture of a younger Tommy and Jude kissing as if to prove this point. Sadie grinned and took the picture.

"I wondered where this one had gone, I thought you'd thrown in out ages ago Jude. I remember taking this. It was just after Boyz Attack got signed and we were throwing a party to celebrate. I flew back from New York just to be here. You two looked so cute together so I took this picture spur of the moment kinda thing." Sadie smiled as she remembered that day. "What else have you got?" She probed, making a grab for a small notepad. Jude snatched it away from her.

"No! Not that notepad Sadie, trust me you don't wanna read what's in there." Jude blushed and sat on the notepad. Sadie raised her eyebrows in surprise but let it drop. Jude handed her a photo album and Sadie contented herself with going through old photos of early Jude and Tommy.

"Hey what's this Jude?" Tommy asked holding up a CD with 'Our Song' written on it. Jude shrugged although she had a suspicion of what it was. Her suspicions were confirmed when her voice filled the room.

**I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car  
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel  
The other on my heart  
I look around, turn the radio down  
He says baby is something wrong?  
I say nothing I was just thinking how we don't have a song  
And he says...**

Our song is the slamming screen door,  
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window  
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow  
Cause it's late and your mama don't know  
Our song is the way you laugh  
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"  
And when I got home ... before I said amen  
Asking God if he could play it again

I was walking up the front porch steps after everything that day  
Had gone all wrong and been trampled on  
And lost and thrown away  
Got to the hallway, well on my way to my lovin' bed  
I almost didn't notice all the roses  
And the note that said...

Our song is the slamming screen door,  
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window  
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow  
Cause it's late and your mama don't know  
Our song is the way you laugh  
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"  
And when I got home ... before I said amen  
Asking God if he could play it again

I've heard every album, listened to the radio  
Waited for something to come along  
That was as good as our song...

Cause our song is the slamming screen door  
Sneaking out late, tapping on his window  
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow  
Cause it's late and his mama don't know  
Our song is the way he laughs  
The first date "man, I didn't kiss him, and I should have"  
And when I got home, before I said amen  
Asking God if he could play it again

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone  
In the front seat of his car  
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin  
And I... wrote down our song

Jude grinned as the song finished and Tommy put it on again. She reached into her box and pulled out a napkin with some writing on it and a note. "See, the note from my bed. And the napkin I wrote it on." Tommy took them from her in wonder before grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back to him. He kissed her before turning his attention back to the pile of papers in front of them. Each one was a letter that they'd written, one for each month of their relationship plus a special one for their yearly anniversary.

Sadie held up a picture of a country singer. "Who the hell is this, and why the heck is he in your shoebox Jude?"

Jude burst out laughing. "That dear sister is country singer Tim McGraw." Jude shared a secret smile with Tommy before skipping to the next song on the CD playing. Again Jude's voice filled the room, this time sounding wistful.

**He said the way my blue eyes shined  
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night  
I said: "That's a lie."  
Just a boy in a Chevy truck  
That had a tendency of gettin' stuck  
On back roads at night  
And I was right there beside him all summer long  
And then the time we woke up to find that summer gone**

But when you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think my favourite song  
The one we danced to all night long  
The moon like a spotlight on the lake  
When you think happiness  
I hope you think that little black dress  
Think of my head on your chest  
And my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think of me

September saw a month of tears  
And thankin' God that you weren't here  
To see me like that  
But in a box beneath my bed  
Is a letter that you never read  
From three summers back  
It's hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet  
And lookin' back on all of that, it's nice to believe

When you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think my favourite song  
The one we danced to all night long  
The moon like a spotlight on the lake  
When you think happiness  
I hope you think that little black dress  
Think of my head on your chest  
And my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think of me

And I'm back for the first time since then  
I'm standin' on your street  
And there's a letter left on your doorstep  
And the first thing that you'll read is:

When you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think my favourite song  
Someday you'll turn your radio on  
I hope it takes you back to that place  
When you think happiness  
I hope you think that little black dress  
Think of my head on your chest  
And my old faded blue jeans  
When you think Tim McGraw  
I hope you think of me

Oh, think of me  
Mmmm

He said the way my blues eyes shined  
Put those Georgia stars to shame that night  
I said: "That's a lie"

Sadie grinned at the two of them. "Care to fill me in?"

"My little secret place, where Kwest built that hut?" Sadie nodded. "That had always been my secret place and I used to go there with Tommy. He used to drive us there and play Tim McGraw on his radio. We'd spend hours out there just talking or dancing. Sometimes we'd just lie there looking up at the sky not saying anything. It was our secret place," Jude leant back into Tommy's arms and smiled up at him. "our own little hideaway." She ended, whispering. Tommy leant down and kissed her gently. Sadie felt herself welling up and quickly left the room, leaving Tommy and Jude to their memories.


	53. Chapter 53: Announcements and Decisions

As that week passed Jude felt she was constantly looking over her shoulder, worried that the police would finally figure out that Tommy had killed Chase. Although technically she hadn't promised Tommy she wouldn't divulge his shocking revelation they both knew that she never would. Having finally told Jude the truth, Tommy seemed less tense and was bonding with Charlie with amazing speed. Jude couldn't help but worry what would happen if the police did figure it all out and Tommy went to jail. What would happen to them then?

Jude's debut single from her new album peaked at number one the first week it was released. To celebrate Jamie had managed to get a few extra days off and was flying out from England early. Their dinner had been moved forward and Jude was getting ready in her bedroom. As usual she was holding everyone else up and they were starting to get impatient. Eventually Sadie sent Tommy upstairs to hurry Jude up.

"Jude will you…wow." Tommy breathed, his initial sentence dying in the air as he saw Jude. Jude looked over her shoulder and smiled at the look on Tommy's face.

"Did you want something?" She asked suggestively, deciding on a whim to wind up Tommy. Sure enough his eyebrows raised and he seemed to be considering the right answer.

"Yeah, you." He whispered just loud enough for Jude to hear. She mocked shock and he hastily amended. "We want you to hurry up so we can leave. Otherwise Andrews will think we've stood him up." He smirked and offered a hand to Jude. She rose from her dressing table and took his arm instead. Tommy escorted Jude to the top of the stairs where Sadie was laying in wait for them with a camera.

"Sorry guys but I couldn't resist. Now smile!"

Blinking from the camera flash Jude and Tommy descended down the stairs and the trio headed out for dinner.

"Hey who's that with Andrews?" Mused Tommy as he helped Jude out from the cab. Sure enough Jamie was sitting at a window table with a woman next to him. Jude shook her head and hurried inside the restaurant, her natural curiosity kicking in. "Jude," Tommy called after her. Jude whirled round impatiently. "Curiosity killed the cat you know." He said softly.

"Ah true, but cats have nine lives." She countered smilingly as she pulled open the restaurant door. Tommy rolled his eyes at Sadie and they followed Jude inside. After everyone had greeted Jamie attention turned to the woman sitting next to him. Jamie introduced her as Patsy; exchanging a knowing glance with Jude, who smiled glad in the knowledge that Jamie finally got the girl. Halfway through dinner Jude suddenly noticed a silver band on Patsy's ring finger. "Hey Patsy, I love your ring." She enthused, deliberately drawing attention to it.

Patsy looked from Jude to the ring and finally to Jamie, who smiled encouragingly, before replying. "Thanks, Jamie got it for me. We, well I, wanted to meet you all first before we said anything though." Sadie, Tommy and Jude waited with bated breath mentally preparing the congratulations. "We're getting married." She beamed happily as both Jude and Sadie screamed congratulations and pulled her into a hug, and Tommy ordered some champagne before shaking Jamie's hand across the table. For the first time in a week Jude properly relaxed as they celebrated Patsy and Jamie's engagement.

The next day and Tommy requested a meeting with Darius. Tommy knew that Jude was constantly worrying about him being caught for what he had done and decided to turn to his boss; Darius would know just what to do.

"You wanted to see me T?" Darius enquired, leaning back in his chair and fixing his full attention on the nervous Tommy.

"Yeah I'm in a bit of a dodgy situation and I was wondering what I should do…" Darius sat up, now intrigued by Tommy's cloak and dagger approach. "And I thought maybe you could help me?"

"Hey T I aint lending you any money, you gotta get yourself out of that business yourself."

"No, it's not about money." Tommy pushed himself up from the chair and pushed the office door shut. "I'm in trouble D, serious trouble. I killed Chase and Jude found out, well she sort of figured it out and got me to admit it, but she's really worried about me being caught and that's making me worried. And I thought I could turn to you because of, well because of your past."

"Woah Tom, I admit I had a shady past but I never killed nobody. Sure I did some damage to a few people's face but nothing like that. You're in serious trouble T. My advice to you is stop hiding and stop running. Come clean and if it's for the reason I'm assuming its for you might get a light sentence in contrast to what you'll get if you don't end this now." Tommy's shoulders sagged: this was exactly what he didn't want to hear.

"What about Charlie, and Jude?"

"They'll be fine. Look T, Jude loves you I mean she waited about for two years and took you back even after finding out about Charlie. She's not going anywhere, anytime soon. And Charlie? T, Charlie's your kid and he has Jude and Sadie to look after him."

"But who's gonna look after Jude?" Prompted Tommy, hating the idea of not being around for Jude when she needed him. Darius rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious. "What?"

"Well what do you think I am, chopped liver? I'll look out for Jude, and she's got Sadie at home as well. Plus there's Speid and Jamie and this Patsy person who's popped up from England. She has people who care about her T, you're not her be all and end all- you're just the most important. Anyone else you're worried about? Want me to water your plants while your gone or something?" Enquired Darius sarcastically.

"Okay I get the picture, I just didn't want to think Jude wouldn't have anyone to turn to should she need to."

"Well she has people T, and she has her music as well. You know as well as anybody she expresses herself through her songs." The men shared a smile and Darius inclined his head. "You wanna do it now, get it over and done with?"

Tommy hesitated, eying the telephone warily. "No, I'll do it tonight. I want to spend the day with Jude and Charlie. If I'm going to do this I want one last day with them first. It's not like I'll be allowed to pop out and see them whenever I feel the urge to." Tommy smiled ruefully and ran a hand through his hair. "Hey Darius, thanks." Darius shrugged modestly and they shook hands before Tommy left to look for Jude. Darius opened his desk drawer, pulled out an envelope, and examined it before placing it back in the drawer face down. It wasn't time yet.


	54. Chapter 54: Memory Lane Begins

"Hey Tom, whoa what's up with you?" Jamie faltered, taking a step back as he saw Tommy's expression.

"Nothing, have you seen Jude?" Tommy asked, not bothering to question why Jamie was actually at G Major.

"Err yeah she's at home," Jamie told him, as Tommy ran out of G Major without another word Jamie yelled after him "why?" only to get no reply other than the slamming of the doors against the wall as Tommy ran through them. Jamie shook his head and wandered of in search of Darius.

"Jude?" Tommy called as he unlocked the front door. Jude's head shot up from the sofa and turned to Tommy questioningly. "Hey." He murmured dumping his stuff on the floor before joining Jude on the sofa.

"Hey," Jude responded "Tommy why are you home? I thought you had studio work today?"

"I had a meeting with Darius. Today is my final day as a free man for a long time. I'm turning myself in Jude, I'm not gonna run. I have to face up to what I did no matter how right my reasoning was at the time." As he replied Tommy stared out of the window, not wanting to see Jude's face when he told her what he was planning to do. However he couldn't help but hear her gasp and feel her shake as she hugged him, and no matter how much she tried to hide it her hiccupping told him she was crying as well. "It might not be for too long, Darius said I'd probably get a lighter sentence for turning myself in and the reason I did it in the first place- it's sort of like self defence, I think." None of this appeased Jude's tears. "I've thought long and hard about it Jude and you were right: I killed a man, and I have to accept the consequences of that. It's the right thing to do, no matter how much he deserved it." He heard Jude inhale and exhale shakily, a sign that her tears were subsiding. "I love you." He whispered into her hair, inhaling her shampoo and perfume knowing that today would be the last time he'd get to do so in the privacy in their own home.

"I love you too." She whispered into his chest, feeling the softness of his shirt against her cheek and knowing that after today she'd be feeling the all-together different fabric of prison clothes.

They were still sitting like that an hour later when Sadie arrived home with Charlie. Sadie coughed and Tommy and Jude looked up. Tommy's face broke into a grin when he saw Charlie. "Hey champ!" He greeted his son as he clambered up onto Tommy's lap for a hug.

Jude turned to Sadie. "Sades, get the camera could you? I want…I want a family shot of us." Sadie nodded and ran upstairs not questioning her sister's sudden urge for photos when she normally hated them. Jude sat back against the sofa and broke into a smile when Charlie turned to her holding out his hands, demanding a hug. "Hey buddy, how was your day?" She asked in a singsong voice, laughing when Charlie responded by blowing a raspberry. "That good huh?" She joked, meeting Tommy's eyes over Charlie's head and smiling sadly at him. Tommy returned the look and they both focused their attention on the happy child sitting in-between them.

Sadie emerged five minutes later brandishing the camera victoriously. "Found it! C'mon you three, family shot for the album. Okay Tommy put your arm around Jude, yeah just like that. Erm Charlie should be either at your feet or sitting on your laps, either way he should be in the middle but not separating you two. Right I know, I'll take one with Charlie sitting at your feet and one with him on your laps. Ready? Okay smile and say cheese!" Sadie demanded, as she got ready to take the picture. Jude bent down and heaved Charlie up onto their laps and got back into pose, this time reaching up and kissing Tommy on the cheek just as Sadie took the picture. Tommy turned to her and grinned. Charlie, by now bored of sitting still, jumped of off their laps and Sadie held up the camera hopefully. "One more? Just you two, being all loved up as usual?" Tommy turned to Jude and they simultaneously nodded in agreement. Sadie beamed and set up the camera as Tommy took Jude in his arms and kissed her. The flash went of and Sadie bounced back upstairs to load the pictures onto the computer, haltingly followed by Charlie who adored his 'Aunty' Sadie.

Jude stretched out on the sofa and rested her head in Tommy's lap, smiling up at him as he looked down at her adoringly and played with her hair absentmindedly. "What are you thinking about?" She asked, cringing as she realised how clichéd she sounded. Tommy grinned and kissed the end of her nose.

"The time we first met." He admitted, stroking her fringe out of her eyes. "You were blonde when we first met, remember?"

Jude laughed as the memory came back to her. "Bottle blonde, I wanted to be like Sadie because she got so much attention from the boys. It was fading out so my roots were coming back! It was your first day at my school…"

_Tommy & Jude's flashback_

_Tommy entered the school hallway and tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Another new hallway at another new school: the same old drill. He was so used to moving that he never tried to make friends, and never made that much effort to get involved in anything. Today, however, would be different. As he made his way to homeroom he overheard someone singing in one of the music rooms. He located the singer and peered in through the glass. Inside was a beautiful blonde, bottle blonde judging by the red roots coming through in the hair, sitting cross legged on a table and strumming away on a guitar, pausing occasionally to mark down chords or lyrics. As some football player shoved past him and knocked him against the door her concentration was broken and she looked up at the door. Her eyes blew Tommy away immediately. He smiled nervously and waved. She smiled back shyly and turned back to her guitar. Although technically it wasn't an invitation to come in, it wasn't exactly a rejection so Tommy took a chance and pushed open the music room door: he didn't care about breaking his usual rule, he had to know who she was._

_Jude instantly stopped playing and set down her guitar as he crossed the room to where she was sitting. He held up his hands. "No, you don't have to stop. It was...it was brilliant." He assured her hurriedly and smirking when she blushed and shrugged modestly. "I mean it, that was really great. Where'd you learn to play like that?" He asked, sensing that he wouldn't get a word out of her unless she was asked a question._

"_I taught myself." She informed him nervously, as if expecting him to mock her like the others did._

"_Cool, my mum spent a bomb hiring some local kid to teach me even though I taught him more than he taught me." He boasted waiting for her to swoon at his prowess like the other girls did. She didn't even look remotely impressed. What she did do shocked him. _

"_Oh really? Go on then, Mr Big Shot, play something for me." She demanded indicating the guitar and folding her arms sceptically._

"_Fine, I will." He said defiantly, evoking a disdainful snort from the girl, amazed that this seemingly shy girl had challenged his skills. He grabbed the guitar from the table and started to play. As he played he never took his eyes of the girl sitting in front of him, and her eyes never left his face._

**I'm just as nervous as you  
Last night I took one look at you  
And I got this feeling you're the right one**

Now you don't know what to do  
Time ticks away and you got to choose  
You know which feeling is the right one,  
The right one

This is what it looks like  
This is what it feels like  
And this is your heart beating faster,  
Faster

I'll lose my voice  
If you won't make a choice  
I'll lose my head  
If you go to him again  
I'll lose my mind  
If you won't take me back tonight  
Take me back tonight

I hope I'm not pressuring you  
That's the last thing I'd ever want to do  
Cause you know which feeling's the right one  
The right one

This is what it looks like  
This is what it feels like  
And this is your heart beating faster,  
Faster

I'll lose my voice  
If you wont make a choice  
I'll lose my head  
If you go to him again  
I'll lose my mind  
If you won't take me back tonight  
Take me back tonight

**Take me back tonight**

**  
I can't stand this  
I can't just watch you get hurt  
You know which feeling's the right one  
The right one**

This is what it looks like  
This is what it feels like  
And this is your heart beating faster,  
Faster

I'll lose my voice  
If you wont make a choice  
I'll lose my head  
If you go to him again  
I'll lose my mind  
If you won't take me back tonight  
Take me back

I'll lose my voice  
If you wont make a choice  
I'll lose my head  
If you go to him again  
I'll lose my mind  
If you won't take me back tonight  
Take me back tonight

**Take me back tonight**

**Take me back tonight**

**Take me back tonight**

_As he placed the guitar back on the table Tommy held out his hand. "I'm Tommy."_

_The girl glared at his hand as if he had some kind of contagious disease before reluctantly accepting it. "Jude." She stated, not particularly liking this arrogant stranger despite his handsomeness and musical talent. _

"_Great. So Jude, now I've played something for you how about you play something for me?" He asked cheerfully, determined to get Jude to loosen up and desperate to hear her sing again. She was about to decline when the bell for homeroom rung. Outside the music room the flurry of activity could be heard. Jude grabbed her guitar and slipped off the table, shrugging and smiling her apology. She'd actually wanted to kick this guy's butt with her guitar playing but now there wasn't time. "You owe me!" He called as she left him alone to find his new homeroom. _

_In homeroom Tommy turned to the guy sitting next to him. "What can you tell me about Jude?" He asked casually. The guy laughed and grabbed the blonde guy sitting next to him. _

"_Hey Zane dude, new boy wants to know about Lil Miss Jude!" They both burst out laughing again as Tommy watched on in confusion. Zane calmed down first and leaned over to Tommy._

"_Hey man, you don't wanna go after Jude the girl's frigid and stuck up. Now her older sister Sadie on the other hand…" Zane raised his eyebrows suggestively, letting Tommy fill in the blanks. Tommy shrugged and turned his attention to the girl trying to flirt with him from the front row. Not that he'd seen her but Tommy didn't want Jude's sister, he wanted Jude. And what Tommy wanted, Tommy got._

_Meanwhile in her homeroom class Jude was talking animatedly to her friend Kat as they sat at the back, hidden away. "…He was seriously up himself Kat I'm telling you. 'My guitar teacher learnt more from me than I did from him' I mean seriously!_ _How arrogant is that?" Jude scoffed._

"_Was he cute though?" Kat pondered, knowing that Jude wouldn't be relaying this story if he wasn't. Not that her best friend would ever admit to liking him._

"_I dunno, I mean he was kinda okay I suppose. Not my cup of tea though." Jude looked away from Kat's doubtful gaze. "He was okay on guitar though, I mean he wasn't as great as he said he was but he wasn't utter death either." Kat grinned to herself: high praise coming from Jude who never usually praised anyone else's guitar playing. She must really like this Tommy character. _

"_So are we gonna find out everything possible about him?" She asked._

"_Yep." Jude grinned at Kat and slid over a piece of paper that was headed up 'Tommy Stats' underneath the title was several bullet points._

_Plays guitar_

_Moves a lot_

_About 5"11'_

_Right handed_

_Kat looked at Jude. "How do you know he's right handed?"_

"_The way he held the guitar, total right hander." Jude assured her. Kat nodded slowly and folded up the list as their homeroom teacher came towards them with their textbooks for that year._

_First lesson after lunch Tommy found himself sitting next to Jude. He smiled at her as he took up his seat and leant towards her. "You still owe me that performance." He reminded her. Jude caught Kat's eye from across the room and rolled her eyes. Kat however was staring at Tommy. A couple of minutes later and a note landed in Jude's place. Jude unfolded the paper and giggled at what Kat had written:_

'_Seriously Jude! The guy is like an Orlando Bloom sundae smothered in Johnny Depp sauce!'_

_Tommy raised his eyebrows questioningly and Jude shoved the note in her pocket, not wanting him to read it and make Kat embarrassed. Tommy didn't pursue the matter and turned back to his textbook, occasionally throwing Jude the odd curios glance. Kat saw this and caught Jude's eye before winking knowingly and turning back to her own textbook as the teacher glared at them. Jude sighed and rolled her eyes, despite everything she had indeed fallen for Tommy. But would he fall back?_

"Personally I think he does, I think he fell for her before she even saw him." Tommy confided in Jude as they arrived back from their nostalgic trip.

"Really?" Exclaimed Jude, faking surprise. "I thought he would've gone for Kat personally."

"Nah I heard he had a thing for girl musicians, especially red-head ones." He smirked at her before leaning in for another kiss.

"Hmmm, I never thought of that. Did Zane really call me frigid?" She asked, blissfully unaware of what had been going round the rumour mill back then.

Tommy nodded seriously before breaking into a grin. "But it's alright because he never said that about you again after I 'accidentally' knocked him out during sports that day."

Jude fluttered her eyelashes and pretended to swoon. "My hero!" She giggled before bashing him over the head with a pillow. Tommy looked hurt and turned away. Jude grabbed his arm and kissed him. "I love you." She said, all humour gone from her expression now.

Tommy matched her expression and cupped her face in his hands. "I love you too." He replied before pulling her to him and back into their earlier embrace.


	55. Chapter 55: First Kiss

_The next update or two will be Jommy memories (all together now: awwww) so their entire story is told up until where we started…enjoy ___

Tommy and Jude were sitting on the living room floor by the fireplace, with their school yearbook out in front of them, going through old photos and reminiscing. "Oh look at Mr Smith's dodgy haircut! I still can't believe you didn't join in with the other guys when they made fun of him." Jude was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling, whilst Tommy was sitting cross-legged next to her and holding the yearbook. He smiled and remembered that day when Mr Smith had first shown off his new haircut.

_Tommy's flashback_

_Mr Smith strolled down the school hallway, obviously thinking he looked brilliant and was seemingly oblivious to the sniggers and weird looks he was attracting. Tommy smiled at him sympathetically and slammed his locker shut. He was heading to the music room, the only place where Jude relaxed with him enough to have a proper conversation with him. Tommy wasn't stupid; he knew that rumours about his and Jude's relationship were doing the rounds. But he didn't care about the rumours, heck he'd have welcomed them if they'd been true. However none of them were: all they did in the music room was talk and write music- nothing that interesting, hence the rumours flying around._

_When he got to the music room it was empty. Tommy shut the door and started to set up the amps, Jude was quite often late on Monday mornings anyway. Besides it wasn't like they had a spoken agreement to come here early every morning before homeroom, they just drifted towards the music room. Ten minutes later Jude burst in the room, slamming the door behind her. Tommy sat up, startled by Jude's aggression: she was usually so calm and collected. Jude screamed and headed straight to the drum kit where she begun to thrash out a fast beat for several minutes before stopping, breathing heavily. Once her breathing had returned to normal she flashed Tommy a smile and finally greeted him. "Morning! How was your weekend? Apparently we've had sex and I'm now pregnant."_

"_Ahahaha new rumour going around then, brilliant. Well my weekend sucked and I had Zane following me trying to catch me meeting up with you for 'hot goods'" He filled her in, quoting Zane when Tommy had snapped and demanded why the heck he was being followed to the local shops._

_Jude smiled, dug her notebook out of her bag and threw it to Tommy. "Think you can play the guitar line if I sing?" She asked, her usual way of initiating a musical collaboration between them. Tommy smirked and nodded. Jude perched on the edge of the table as she waited for Tommy to start playing so she could sing._

**Saturday steppin' into the club  
And it makes me wanna tell the DJ  
Turn It Up  
I feel the energy all around  
And my body can't stop moving to the sound**

But I can tell that you're watching me  
And you're probably gonna write what you didn't see  
Well I just need a little space to breathe  
Can you please respect my privacy

Why can't you just let me  
Do the things I wanna do  
I just wanna be me  
I don't understand why  
Would you wanna bring me down  
I'm only having fun  
I'm gonna live my life  
Like I wanna do

I'm tired of rumours starting  
I'm sick of being followed  
I'm tired of people lying  
Saying what they want about me  
Why can't they back up off me  
Why can't they let me live  
I'm gonna do it my way  
Take this for just what it is

Here we are back up in the club  
People taking pictures  
Don't you think they get enough  
I just wanna be all over the floor  
And throw my hands up in the air to a beat like (What?)

I've gotta say respectfully  
I would like it if you take the cameras off of me  
'Cause I just want a little room to breathe  
Can you please respect my privacy

Why can't you just let me  
Do the things I wanna do  
I just wanna be me  
I don't understand why  
Would you wanna bring me down  
I'm only having fun  
I'm gonna live my life  
But not the way you want me to

I'm tired of rumours starting  
I'm sick of being followed  
I'm tired of people lying  
Saying what they want about me  
Why can't they back up off me  
Why can't they let me live  
I'm gonna do it my way  
Take this for just what it is

I just need to free my mind (my mind)  
Just wanna dance and have a good time (good time)  
I'm tired of rumours (rumours)  
Followed (followed, followed, followed, followed, followed)  
What they (follow) me  
Why can't they let me live  
Take this for just what it is

I'm tired of rumours starting  
I'm sick of being followed  
I'm tired of people lying  
Saying what they want about me  
Why can't they back up off me  
Why can't they let me live  
I'm gonna do it my way  
Take this for just what it is

I'm tired of rumours starting  
I'm sick of being followed  
I'm tired of people lying  
Saying what they want about me  
Why can't they back up off me  
why can't they let me live  
I'm gonna do it my way  
Take this for just what it is

_Tommy watched Jude as she sung, as usual she looked stunning even in a simple tank top and jeans, and was surprised when she opened her eyes and smiled a perfectly genuine smile at him. The song finished and Jude cheered as she always did. Tommy idly flicked through the notebook Jude had thrown to him earlier, having established early on that if Jude gave you her notebook then it was okay to see what was in there: she trusted you. "Hey this songs good, do you wanna do that before homeroom? We could just fit it in…" He handed Jude the notebook so she could see what song he meant. When she saw the page he'd left open a blush spread across her face._

"_Oh man I forgot I wrote that one."_

"_The song is amazing Jude." He praised her, wondering who this guy was and wanting to punch his lights out in a jealous fit. His insides twisted horribly when Jude smiled absentmindedly as she skimmed her lyrics. "Jude?" He prompted. She looked up. _

"_Hmm?"_

"_Are we gonna do this song?" He repeated, hating himself for hoping that the song was about him. Jude nodded and quickly scribbled out a few odd words before nodding at him and handing him the notebook so he could play guitar. This time as she sung Jude avoided looking anywhere near him, something for which Tommy was glad for, as he was pretty sure the effect of the emotion in her voice was visible to the naked eye. He glared at the goosebumps shooting up on his arms as he played._

**I was born to be in your arms  
I was born to feel like this  
And every time that you come closer  
It's a rush I can't resist**

When you call my name it's like you're lighting up the day  
Life is just more beautiful every step we take

You are the one for me   
From the moment that I saw you  
I knew you'd be my everything   
I can't get enough  
But you always give me what I need  
You are the one for me

That's forever there in your eyes  
And that's heaven in your voice  
And when I think about the future  
To be with you is my only choice

Cause when you're gone it feels as if the heart in me just stops  
I need you around, without you I get lost

You are the one for me  
From the moment that I saw you  
I knew you'd be my everything  
I can't get enough  
But you always give me what I need  
You are the one

You're the hand that's guiding me  
And made me see how much you'd be  
And I thank God for giving me my dream

You are the one for me   
From the moment that I saw you  
I knew you'd be my everything   
I can't get enough  
But you always give me what I need  
You are the one for me

_Jude shakily exhaled and finally glanced over towards Tommy. "Well…how was it?" She asked nervously._

"_I told you before Jude, the song is amazing."_

"_So you like it?"_

"_Like it? I love it! Jude I'd kill for a song like that to be written about me."_

"_Well it's nice to know I've saved some poor soul's life then." Jude joked as she picked up her notebook and turned away from Tommy to put it away in her bag. Tommy stared at her back. Did she just say what he thought she said…and was he hearing right? Before he could ask her the bell for homeroom shrilly broke the moment. Jude grabbed her bag, tossing a carefree 'goodbye' over her shoulder as she left._

_In homeroom Tommy sat in a daze, letting Zane's usual chatter drift over his head. It was only when Jude's name was mentioned that Tommy paid attention. "What did you say about Jude?" He questioned Zane as he received high-fives from his little gang of followers. _

"_That I'm amazed you got her to put out. From frigid to whore in three months, that's some good work there my friend." Zane said, slapping Tommy on the back as if he was some major player. Tommy knew he shouldn't have done what he did next but the insulting of Jude made him see red and the next thing he knew he was sitting in detention, with an icepack on his forehead. _

_By the time lunch came everyone had heard what had happened during homeroom. In the cafeteria people were avoiding him and Zane was glowering at him from a safe distance. Tommy was surprised when two people slid into the seats on either side of him. One of them tapped his right shoulder and when Tommy looked up he saw it was Jude's friend from English. "Hi, we haven't properly met. I'm Kat." She chirped, holding out her hand. Tommy took it and smiled uneasily. Usually wherever Kat went, Jude wasn't very far behind and today he wanted to avoid Jude. She was probably laughing at him with some girl or other right now. _

_There was a tap on his other shoulder and Tommy turned round to see Jude grinning happily at him. "Thanks Tommy." She said, her voice lacking its usual sarcasm in place of utter sincerity. Tommy shrugged nonchalantly as if he did that kind of thing everyday. _

"_S'nothing." He muttered._

"_Nothing? Tommy you didn't have to do that, seriously thank you for sticking up for me. My hero." She reached over and kissed him on the cheek, blushing furiously as she realised what she'd just done. Despite himself Tommy broke into a smile. "See you later Kat." Called Jude, bringing Tommy back to his senses. Tommy turned and waved at Kat's retreating back. When he faced Jude again she was considering him. "Music room?" She suggested, hinting that she wanted a private chat with him. Tommy nodded and left the cafeteria. _

_Not long after Tommy had arrived Jude walked in. "Funny how many people want to talk to me now I'm meant to be easy." She remarked as she took a seat beside Tommy at the piano. They sat in silence for several minutes before Tommy stood up and went to find his guitar. When Jude made to stand up he gave her a stern look until she sat back down again._

"_I have a song for you." He told her as he gently strummed, working up the courage to lay his cards on the table. Eventually he launched into the open sequence and his velvety smooth voice filled the room, caressing Jude's ears._

**There's a new wind blowin' like I've never known.  
I'm breathin' deeper than I've ever done.  
And it sure feels good, to finally feel the way I do.  
I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you.**

An' I'm lettin' go of all my lonely yesterdays.  
I've forgiven myself for the mistakes I've made.  
Now there's just one thing, the only thing I wanna do, mmm, mmm.  
I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you.

Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,  
Shinin' down on me and you.  
When you put your arms around me,  
You let me know there's nothing in this world I can't do.

I used to run in circles goin' no-where fast.  
I'd take, uh, one step forward end up two steps back.  
Couldn't walk a straight line even if I wanted to, mmm, mmm.  
I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you.

Whoa here we go now!

Yeah, I wanna feel the sunshine,  
Shinin' down on me and you.  
When you put your arms around me,  
Well, baby there ain't nothing in this world I can't do.

Sometimes it's hard for me to understand,  
But you're teachin' me to be a better man.  
I don't want to take this life for granted like I used to do, no, no.  
I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you.

I'm ready to love somebody,  
Love somebody like you. Oooh.

An' I wanna love somebody,  
Love somebody like you, yeah.

Oh yeah.  
Oh, I wanna be the man in the middle of the night,  
Shinin' like it's true.  
I wanna be the man that you run to whenever I call on you  
When everything that loved someone finally found it's way  
Wanna be a better man  
I see it in you yeah...

_Jude stared at him as he finished singing. Tommy placed the guitar on a nearby table and anxiously awaited her verdict. "Well?" He finally asked after several painstaking minutes had passed and Jude still hadn't said anything._

"_Wow…just wow. Quincy I didn't know you had it in you!" She remarked, genuinely taken aback by his declaration. _

"_It's all because of you Jude. I mean before I came here sure I was interested in music, but I never had the passion or inspiration to write songs. Not like that. I've never felt anything strongly enough to write about it. Until now." He ended, sitting down next to her at the piano again. Jude's breathing became ragged, as if she was scared to be so close to him. "I've never felt like this Jude." He whispered, absolutely terrified of what he was doing and saying. Jude smiled shakily and laughed nervously. Tommy winced, taking her laughter as rejection. He only opened his eyes when Jude placed a hand on his arm. He looked at her smiling face and he finally understood. "That song, this morning. He was me, am I right?" Jude nodded, her smile growing wider. Tommy moved closer to Jude, not wanting to scare her. "You're beautiful." He told her, tenderly stroking her cheek. Jude placed her other hand over his and leaned towards him. The space between them closed as their lips met and they kissed each other, almost shyly, for the first time._


	56. Chapter 56: Three little words

"_Tommy, don't." Jude protested, pushing him away from her as his hands roamed once again. They were two months into the relationship and this was a whole new ball game to Jude. However she had been labelled "frigid" for a reason- she wouldn't put out. Whenever someone, normally one of the girls who did put out because they were so desperate to keep the guy they had, asked Jude why she refused to go that far Jude simply shrugged it off. She couldn't really explain it but for some reason she wanted to wait for marriage, not just lose it to some guy whose name she might not remember some time in the future. She wanted it to mean something rather than be just a meaningless fumble in the back of his car after one too many drinks. "Tommy, stop it!" She yelled out, frustrated that he wasn't listening to her. She slapped his hands away again and practically jumped off the sofa, heading for the door. Tommy stared after her incredulously. _

"_What is wrong with you Jude? All I'm trying to do is show some affection!"_

"_By trying to grope me? Oh yeah Tom that's real affectionate. I'm not comfortable with that kinda stuff and you know that!"_

"_For goodness sake Jude, lighten up!"_

"_Lighten up? Lighten up? You're right Tommy I should lighten up. In fact let's go upstairs right now and get it over with. Is that what you want? You just want me to go the distance with you and then you'll move on, is that what you do Tommy?" Jude was practically screaming now, her sarcasm slapping Tommy round the face irritatingly._

"_Jude come on, you know that's not it." He said gently, trying to placate her._

"_Then what is it Tommy? Why do you want to go so fast?"_

"_Why do you want to go so slow?" He exclaimed, standing up and facing her. He loved her so much but at times like this she really did wind him up the wrong way._

"_Meaning what?" She demanded of him furiously._

"_Every time I get too close to you, you push me away. It's not just at times like this either: if we're talking about something and it suddenly gets too deep and meaningful for you, you change the subject. What's that all about Jude?"_

"_I don't know what you mean." She lied, stubbornly determined not to tell him the truth._

"_Pfft, don't lie to me Jude you know exactly what I mean."_

"_I'm not a liar!" _

"_So tell me why then."_

_Jude sighed and sank down onto the stairs, knowing that she might as well tell him now he'd taken up the point, Tommy was like a dog with a bone once he got going- there was no way out of this one._

"_I get scared. Most guys only think as far as going all the way and that's it. But with you it's different and that is what scares me. I worry that if I talk about deep and meaningful stuff despite how different you are from all the other guys that you'll run away. That's what scares me the most." Jude wrapped her arms around her upper torso and hugged herself, staring at the floor so Tommy couldn't see the tears in her eyes. He could, however, hear the shake in her voice and joined her on the stairs. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and she snuggled into his one armed embrace. After a moment Tommy spoke._

"_For your information Jude. I talk about deep and meaningful stuff because I want to know more about you. I want to know what makes you tick, what you like, what you don't like. I want to know what you feel, what you think, how you think. I want to know how I make you feel, I want to know what inspires you, who inspires you and how you are inspired. I want to memorise every little detail of you and your life. I've never ever felt like this before and that scares me." He confessed, hoping that his admission would finally manage to get Jude to open up. "I love you Jude." He quietly stated. Jude gasped and stared at him._

"_What?" She breathed, hardly daring to believe it._

"_I said I love you, and I don't care who knows."_

"_I love you too Tommy!" She squealed and kissed him passionately, a kiss that Tommy gladly returned. When they finally pulled apart Jude put on a soppy voice. "I love you baby." She simpered. Tommy chuckled and put on a matching voice._

"_I love you schnookums." He cooed before leaning in and kissing her again, this time more slowly and gentler._


	57. Chapter 57: Marks Of Love

"_This isn't working Jude. There's too much pressure." Tommy and Jude were sitting in their favourite café early on a Saturday morning. The sun was shining down on their table outside and Tommy was staring at all the people passing by rather than Jude. He'd asked her to meet him here so he could break things off. His mother was pressuring him to either slow things down or end them all together._

"_Tommy is this about your mother?"_

" _No, no it's not." Tommy lied, knowing that Jude would be off on a rant otherwise._

"_Well what then? I don't understand! Don't you want me Tommy? Do you not need me?"_

"_No Jude, I don't." His voice was hard and cold. He had to do this otherwise things would get ugly at home, subconsciously he tugged at the sleeve of his top hiding today's newest bruise courtesy of his mother._

"_You're lying." She accused, desperately hoping to call his bluff. Lately, since they'd hit the six-month mark to be precise, things had been weird and Tommy had been acting distant. Jude didn't understand it, but only because Tommy wouldn't let her in._

"_Jude I am not lying. I…I can't stand you. You don't make me laugh, you don't make me feel the way I thought you did, I can never get you to talk to me about normal stuff, and…" He thought desperately of something to say, something that would make her angry with him and therefore hurt him less. Luckily Jude came up with the solution herself._

"_Is there someone else?"_

"_Yes, there's another girl. I met her at a party and well we slept together." Tommy lied, knowing that this would definitely work at getting Jude to yell at him. He could cope with yelling, he could cope with screaming but he knew he wouldn't be able to cope with the tears or desperate pleas that Jude tended to use._

"_What?" She gasped, something inside of her flipped and all she wanted to do was hurt him. She wanted to hit him, scream at him, demand to know why the heck he'd done this to her when he said he'd wait. "How could you, why?" _

"_Why don't you ask yourself that Jude?" He said cruelly before pushing his chair back, dropping some money on the table and leaving Jude alone with the ashes of their relationship. _

_Jude pulled out her cell and dialled Kat's number, knowing she would be awake already. "Kat…. can you meet me down town? No Tommy won't be here, he broke up with me." Jude hung up as the tears finally came and she lost all control._

_Two weeks later and Jude had managed to be persuaded by Kat to perform her break-up song at the school's annual talent show. Now she was up and she felt sick. She'd tried every excuse imaginable to get out of it but to no avail. Now the music was starting and all eyes were on her. All eyes, she thought smugly, to see what a jerk Tommy is._

**You said you didn't need me (but you did)  
You said you didn't want me (but you do)  
It's kinda like a comedy  
Well first you kiss me   
And then you say we're through  
I say you got some issues (yeah you do)  
Some things you gotta work through (really do)  
It's sorta like a talk show, no wait a freak show  
When the freak is you  
**

**I'm the smoke from your fire  
I'm that lie you can trust  
I'm the chord on your guitar  
I'm that girl you can't shut up  
I'm the blood you might need  
In your car when you speed  
In that cigarette you breathe  
You can't get rid of me**

You said I wasn't funny (but you laughed)  
You said I couldn't drive fast (then you crashed)  
Funny how it works out  
With your big mouth  
You'll always get it back  
You thought you had me worked out (you're not deep)  
Mr. I screw about (you're still a creep)  
At best you could've confessed  
That you're a big mess  
And that you're so damn weak

_Jude located Tommy in the crowd and made sure he knew she was singing about him. The pain etched onto his features was almost worth it all._

**  
I'm the smoke from your fire  
I'm that lie you can trust  
I'm the chord on your guitar  
I'm that girl you can't shut up  
I'm the blood you might need  
In your car when you speed  
In that cigarette you breathe  
You can't get rid of me**

But still, I try and justify  
Try to let this die  
We'll never say goodbye i can't wait  
I'll rub it in your face  
Dressed in pretty lace  
I'll send you home, to cry

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha  
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha  
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha 

_In the crowd, Tommy was kicking himself. He should have known Jude would've written a song about it all, but he had no idea that she would have been willing to perform it on stage. Despite how bitter the song sounded Tommy wondered if there could be a chance for him and Jude: could he persuade her to take him back?_

**  
I'm that blood you might need  
In your car when you speed  
In that cigarette you breathe  
You can't get rid of me  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah**

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha  
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha  
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

**Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha  
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha  
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha**

**Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha  
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha  
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha**

You can't get rid of me

_Jude ran off the stage the second she could and was pushing her way through the crowd when she saw Tommy making his way over to her. "Kat, Tommy's coming over. What do I do? What do I do?" She clutched her friend's arm in panic and started taking deep breaths. Kat was saved from answering when a man in his late twenties appeared at Jude's side and offered her his hand._

"_Darius Mills, manager of G Major."_

"_You mean like the record label G Major?" Jude checked, wondering what the heck he was doing here and why he was bothering to talk to her._

"_The one and only. Now Jude, it was Jude right?" He ploughed on without waiting for her to respond. "That performance just now was just breath taking. Did you write the song yourself?" He asked, considering her carefully. Jude nodded and muttered something about the guitar line as well. Darius broke into a grin. "Brilliant! Just brilliant. Jude you are just what I've been looking for. Here's my card, talk it over with your folks and call me. I'd like to sign you Jude, you're the real deal girl!" He strode off into the crowd, leaving Kat and Jude staring after him in amazement. A nervous cough at their side alerted them to Tommy's presence._

"_What?" Jude spat, obviously still annoyed at him. Tommy squirmed awkwardly._

"_Can we talk?" He pleaded. "In private." He added, indicating Kat who simply glared at him. Jude turned to Kat who shrugged and walked off into the crowd. _

"_Music room, you have five minutes Quincy." She said, allowing herself to be dragged off._

"…_Okay so you think I'm hilarious, you love that I talk about deep and meaningful stuff, you do want me and you do need me. Was that it?" Jude folded her arms and stared at Tommy with a bored expression on her face despite feeling like screaming and jumping around in victory._

"_No. Jude I never cheated on you either. I would never even dream of cheating on you. It was just some excuse, I needed something to get you angry at me."_

"_Well it worked. Why did you lie to me?" She asked, her voice softening._

"_You were right that day at the café, it was my mother. She thought we were going to fast and said to break it off with you. I had no choice."_

"_You could have said no Tommy, you could have stood up to her!" She yelled, wondering if perhaps he really was as weak as the previous admission made him sound. His mother was hardly Mike Tyson._

"_I tried Jude, don't you think I tried? I yelled, I refused, I threatened, I begged and I pleaded. And every time I did I got something in return. The mark of my mother's love." He said bitterly, turning to glare out of the window._

"_I don't understand. What do you mean, marks of her love?" Jude joined him at the window and forced him to look at her. "What's going on Tommy?" She asked gently, placing her hand on his wrist. Tommy winced and before he could stop her Jude had pulled up the sleeve of his top, revealing the ugly purple marks running up his arms. "Tommy, did she…why would…oh my God. Why?" She stumbled over her words, wanting to pull him into a hug and hide him from what was evidently going on. Something inside of her stirred, she wasn't exactly his mother's greatest fan before but now she wanted to do some serious damage to this woman. How could a mother hit her child? It just didn't make sense to her. Tommy turned away from her and pulled down his sleeve._

"_She doesn't mean to do it, I make her angry and she lashes out. She's fine if I don't act out, it's my fault. If I didn't make her angry everything would be fine." He recited, obviously having been brain washed by his mother into blaming himself. Jude shook her head and placed her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at her again._

"_No Tommy. No that's not right; it is in no way your fault, your mum obviously has a problem and takes it out on you. No mother should ever hit her child Tom, ever. How long has this been going on?" She asked, fearing the answer._

"_About two months." He confessed; eyes focused on the ground. Jude said nothing but wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. He in turn slipped his arms around her waist and held on to her. "I didn't want to tell anyone in case I made her angrier, she said she'd hurt you if I told you and I didn't want you to dislike her any more than you already did." He whispered. Jude felt like crying. Was it that obvious she disliked Mrs Quincy?_

"_Shh, it's okay Tommy. I'm not going to do anything drastic if you don't want me do. I'm just glad you told me." She played with the ends of his hair absentmindedly. "You really tried, huh?" She realised. Tommy nodded and sniffed dejectedly. Jude felt herself welling up. "I love you Tommy. And I'm not letting you go that easily, I will not leave you. I love you and together we will get through this." She promised, her voice full of determination. Tommy pulled away from her._

"_Really?" He checked, his voice full of amazement and his eyes glistening with uncried tears. Jude's heart went out to him and mentally she slapped herself for not realising something was wrong._

"_Really." She confirmed, reaching up on tiptoes to kiss him. There was no way she'd let Mrs Quincy win. She would fight so hard to keep Tommy safe and in her arms. _


	58. Chapter 58: Trials and Tribulations

"_Where have you been boy?" Mrs Quincy hollered at her son as he snuck in the back door. Tommy froze and deflated: he'd been round Jude's house in hope that if he came back late enough his own mother would be asleep and he'd be saved a beating._

"_Round a friend's house."_

"_That Harrison girl?"_

"_No mum, I told you that was over." Tommy lied, praying his mother was too drunk to see his guilty expression._

_**Whack**_

_Mrs Quincy's hand connected with the side of his face and he stumbled backwards, tripping over the coffee table. "Liar!" She screeched, advancing towards him. Tommy reached out desperately and picked up the first thing his hand came to contact with. He swung with all his might and struck out at his mother. She crumbled to the floor and Tommy fled out the back door._

_Ten Minutes Later_

"_She's not dead Tommy, just very angry and in a fair amount of pain. I told her that I was your new girlfriend and you'd be okay to stay the night here." Jude soothed Tommy as she hung up the phone at her house. Tommy had arrived at her house, soaking wet from that nights rain and in hysterics, believing that he'd killed his mother. Jude had calmed him down enough to tell her the whole story and then she phoned Tommy's house, changing her voice so Mrs Quincy wouldn't recognize her. As she relayed the phone call to him Tommy shuddered. Jude noticed this and disappeared; when she remerged she had a pair of her father's jeans and an old jumper in her hands. She handed them to Tommy and told him she'd be waiting downstairs for him. _

_Tommy came downstairs to find Jude had turned the sofa into a bed for him and had heated up some soup. The main light wasn't on because it would be too noticeable from upstairs should a member of the Harrison household wake up in the middle of the night so Jude had lit some candle and placed them in the fireplace. Jude was curled up in an armchair with her notebook and guitar, quietly strumming so as not to disturb her sleeping parents or sister. She looked up as she heard footsteps on the stairs and smiled at him. Tommy fell back onto the sofa and waited, knowing that Jude would probably already have a song up her sleeve. Sure enough Jude saw him watching her and begun to sing softly to him._

**You fall apart and I run in from anywhere  
Like cameras at an accident  
My staring eyes, I wonder why I care  
Maybe I'll be frightened by the pain  
But watch your tragedy again**

**'Cause you are broken and beautiful  
And you're so damn cynical  
But I'm drawn in by the darkness in your eyes  
And it's beautiful  
Broken and beautiful **

Talkin' you down from ledges to stay with me  
I'll touch your sharpest edges  
I'll be the one that holds your hand when you bleed  
Falling off in pieces like you do  
I would hand them back to you

'Cause you are broken and beautiful  
And you're so damn cynical  
But I'm drawn in by the darkness in your eyes  
And it's beautiful  
Broken and beautiful

My favourite mess, like a magnet pulling me down until I drop  
Call be obsessed with your sadness but I don't want to make it stop

'Cause you are broken and beautiful  
And you're so damn cynical  
But I'm drawn in by the darkness in your eyes  
And it's beautiful  
Broken and beautiful

And you're not like usual  
And I'm drawn in by the darkness in you're eyes  
And it's beautiful  
Broken and beautiful 

_Jude placed her guitar down by the side of the armchair and crawled under Tommy's blanket. Tommy wrapped his strong arms around her torso and pulled her against him, Jude snuggled up against him and looked up at him. He was watching her with an expression of rapture. Jude smiled and reached up to kiss him. Tommy returned the gesture and closed his eyes. When Sadie Harrison came down the next morning she found Jude and Tommy fast asleep on the sofa with the blanket over them and the candles in the fireplace just burning out._

_A month later and Tommy had moved out of his mother's house. Darius had stepped forward and offered Tommy a place at his apartment as well as a place in a new boy band he was planning, called Boyz Attack. Tommy had accepted and Darius had, unbeknownst to Tommy, paid Mrs Quincy to stay out of her son's life. When Darius later heard that Mrs Quincy had gone to jail for attempted murder not soon after his visit Darius heaved a sigh of relief that it wasn't Tommy who'd been hurt to that extent. Tommy's bruises and scars healed up and the few scars that remained faded slightly, making them look less horrific. Jude's music career was going well and Tommy was meeting up with the other member's of Boyz Attack for a press release. Their debut single 'Pick Up The Pieces' was being well received and everything was going right for once._

_Another six months on and Tommy was due to leave for the first Boyz Attack tour. Jude was there, with Kat, to see him off. Tommy practically ignored her and only spoke to her when she spoke first, and even then it was only a short answer or ever just a noncommittal noise. Kat watched from a safe distance, wondering how long it would take for Jude to blow her top or complain to her after the tour bus had pulled away. Surprisingly Jude smiled sweetly and kissed Tommy when the time came for him to leave and didn't mention Tommy's behaviour all the way home. _

_The next day it was Jude's 17__th__ birthday and although she waited all day there was no call from Tommy. Kat was subject to Jude's ranting over this fact and offered to come over. Jude told her not to bother because she was heading over to G Major to record a new song. Over at G Major Jude grabbed her guitar and disappeared into an empty studio. Twenty minutes later Jude remerged and headed into the studio where Darius was producing until he could find a new producer. _

"_Morning Jude, how can I help you?"_

"_New song D. Can we record it now?" Darius nodded and Jude headed into the recording booth. Darius waited until Jude nodded, the signal that she was ready, and started recording._

**Thursday night, everything's fine, except you've got that look in your eye  
when i'm tellin' a story and you find it boring,  
you're thinking of something to say.  
You'll go along with it then drop it and humiliate me in front of our friends. **

Then I'll use that voice that you find annoyin' and say something like  
"yeah, intelligent input, darlin', why don't you just have another beer then?"

Then you'll call me a bitch  
and everyone we're with will be embarrassed,  
and I wont give a shit.

My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,  
and I know that i should let go,  
but I can't.  
And everytime we fight I know it's not right,  
everytime that you're upset and i smile.  
I know I should forget, but i can't.

You said I must eat so many lemons  
'cause I am so bitter.  
I said  
"I'd rather be with your friends mate 'cause they are much fitter."

Yes, it was childish and you got aggressive,  
and I must admit that i was a bit scared,  
but it gives me thrills to wind you up.

My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,  
and I know that i should let go,  
but I can't.  
And everytime we fight I know it's not right,  
everytime that you're upset and i smile.  
I know I should forget, but I can't.

Your face is pasty 'cause you've gone and got so wasted, what a surprise.  
Don't want to look at your face 'cause it's makin' me sick.  
You've gone and got sick on my trainers,  
I only got these yesterday.  
Oh, my gosh, i cannot be bothered with this.

Well, I'll leave you there 'til the mornin',  
and I purposely wont turn the heating on  
and dear God, i hope I'm not stuck with this one.

My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,  
and I know that i should let go,  
but I can't.  
And everytime we fight I know it's not right,  
everytime that you're upset and I smile.  
I know I should forget, but I can't.  


**And everytime we fight I know it's not right,  
everytime that you're upset and I smile.  
I know I should forget, but I can't.**

**And everytime we fight I know it's not right,  
everytime that you're upset and I smile.  
I know I should forget, but I can't.**

_Fast forward to the end of the Boyz Attack tour_

_Once Tommy and Jude were fully alone he turned on her. "What the heck was your last single about Jude? What was I supposed to think while I was out on tour with that song playing on the radio? How much of an idiot did you want to make me look because you've surpassed yourself this time Jude. Well bloody done." Jude bit her lip and looked at the floor. Truth be told she hadn't actually intended to release the single, just record it and blast it loudly from her house until she got over her anger at Tommy, but Darius had persisted on it being her next single. And obviously Darius called the shots, so the single had been released much to Jude's horror. Now here she was stuck with her angry boyfriend. _

"_Well you didn't call me at all during your poxy tour. Not even on my birthday Tommy, how is that meant to make me feel? What was I supposed to think when my own boyfriend forgets that? Seriously Tommy you were on tour for two months and I didn't hear a word from you."_

"_That's still no reason to release that song Jude!"_

"_I didn't do it myself did I? Darius produced it and said it would be my next single. There was nothing I could do!" Jude yelled after him as he stormed out of her house, slamming the door behind him. Jude screamed and stomped upstairs._


	59. Chapter 59: It's Your Love

"_So Jude tell us about your new song, the follow up to smash hit 'Foundations'" The television reporter grinned, rather like gurned thought Jude, at her. Jude groaned at the mention of that song and the audience laughed. It had been a month and a half since 'Foundations' had been released and, unfortunately for Jude as it prolonged Tommy's sulk, it had been a massive hit. Now Jude was on damage control mode, desperate not to lose Tommy._

"_Erm well the song is called 'I Bruise Easily' and it's kind of an apology of sorts but it's more and explanation of why I act the way I do with certain people." Jude replied, staring straight at Tommy who was watching from the audience. He smiled lightly at her and Jude knew that they'd be okay. 'Foundations' was just another pothole on their road of romance._

"…_performing her new song 'I Bruise Easily' Jude Harrison!" Jude stepped up to the microphone and closed her eyes as the music started up in the studio. When she opened her eyes she found Tommy in the audience and kept eye contact with him for the rest of the song._

**My skin is like a map, of where my heart has been  
And I can't hide the marks, but it's not a negative thing  
So I let down my guard, drop my defences, down by my clothes  
I'm learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow**

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me  
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart, carved on a tree  
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me  
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I found your finger prints on a glass of wine  
Do you know your leaving them all over this heart of mine too?  
But if I never take this leap of faith I'll never know  
So I'm learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me  
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree  
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me  
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

Anyone who, can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you  
Anyone who, can reach you, can love you, or leave you

So be gentle  
So be gentle  
So be gentle  
So be gentle

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me  
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart, carved on a tree  
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me  
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me  
There's a mark you leave, like a love heart, carved on a tree  
I bruise easily, can't scratch the surface without moving me  
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I bruise easily  
I bruise easily

_As they left the studio, hand in hand, Tommy received a phone call. "Hello? Yeah…no…I'll be right there." He hung up and turned to Jude apologetically. "I'm sorry babe but I gotta go, somethings come up. I'll call you when I can, okay." He kissed her cheek and ran off, hailing a cab as he did so, leaving Jude standing alone staring after him wondering what the heck was going on. _

"_Hey it's me, can we meet up somewhere? We need to talk." Tommy's voice sounded grave and Jude instantly worried. What was wrong?_

"_Sure, when?" She asked, swallowing her fears._

"_Now, our usual spot." Tommy said abruptly before hanging up. Jude gathered her things and ran out the house…_

"_I don't understand. What have I done?"_

"_Nothing, you haven't done anything."_

"_Then why are you doing this?"_

"_I just have to, okay?"_

"_No it's not okay. What about me Tommy? What about us? You promised me you'd never leave. You swore to me that you'd stay with me forever."_

"_And I will, just not in person. But as long as you keep me in your heart I'll always be with you. I love you."_

_He pulled her to him, wiped away her tears and kissed her deeply. He didn't want to go, but he had to. Which was why this kiss was much like their first. Deep, long and passionate filled with both lust and love. He needed her to know he loved her despite the fact he was leaving. Although he wouldn't tell her so, it was because he loved her that he was leaving. As they pulled apart a stray single tear rolled down her cheek. He wiped that tear away too, each tear landing on his heart like a ton of cement._

"_I love you too," she whispered, gazing at him with those eyes of hers. They always showed her every emotion and they showed her love, but they also showed her pain. "I'll always love you. But then again, you know that." She smiled sadly at him._

"_Yeah I do. Just like you know that I'll always love you. No matter what." He made sure she was looking at him when he said that. He needed her to know how much he loved her. His fingers rubbed his ring and after a brief hesitation he pulled off the ring and handed it to her. She gasped and took off her chain, slid the ring onto it and offered it to him. The clasp was fiddly but she always wore that chain, he'd bought it for her and so it was worth the extra time and effort required to put it on every day. He moved her silky smooth hair to one side and kissed her neck where the clasp fell. _

_She turned to face him with tears in her eyes once more. "I'll wait for you." She stated, before kissing him gently on the lips and walking away. She paused at the end of the road before turning the corner. From where he stood he could still see her walking away although she could not see him anymore. He didn't know when he'd see her again…_

"I think I finally understand everything now." Laughed Jude as both her and Tommy came back from memory land. Tommy smiled and rolled her over onto her side so she was facing him.

"Everything I've done, it's always been for you." He told her, staring straight into her eyes. Jude felt herself melting and simply grinned sappily at him. "I love you so much." He continued, eyes glistening as the reality of what his life would be like after today suddenly hit him. There wouldn't be any moments like this with Jude for a long time that was for sure.

"I love you more." She stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No I love you more." He protested.

"No I love you more!" She argued, folding her arms and pouting, a small smile forming on her lips. Tommy growled and started to tickle her. Jude screamed at him to stop and when he wouldn't she reached up and grabbed hold of him, pulling him into a kiss. When they pulled apart Jude grinned up at him. "Thought that might make you stop." She confessed. Tommy raised an eyebrow before returning to the kiss.

Eventually they stopped, much as Tommy tried to persuade Jude that staying in all afternoon and kissing would be very fun, and Jude dragged Tommy to G Major. "Before you…go, I want us to record a song together. A proper song that both of us have written and I'm not tricked into singing with you." She told him, referring to the fake duet that Tommy had arranged when he'd first arrived back into Jude's life. Tommy grinned and brandished a notepad.

An hour later they were just finishing setting up in the studio when Sadie and Charlie walked in. "I thought you two might have come here. Thanks for telling me I was looking after Charlie." Joked Sadie as she walked up to them, trailing Charlie behind her. Tommy shrugged and turned back to the microphone stand he was setting up, leaving Jude to explain what was going on.

"We're recording a song. Something for us to remember…well us by. Something for me to play to Charlie as he grows up, so he knows how his dad felt about us and why he's going where he's going." Sadie softened and showed Charlie into the sound booth where Darius was waiting for them to begin. "You ready?" Jude asked Tommy back in the recording booth. Tommy took her hand and nodded. Jude smiled and nodded at Darius to start recording.

**Tommy:**

**Dancin' in the dark  
Middle of the night  
Takin' your heart  
And holdin' it tight  
Emotional touch  
Touchin' my skin  
And askin' you to do  
What you've been doing all over again.**

Oh it's a beautiful thing  
Don't think I can keep it all in  
I just gotta let you know  
What it is that won't let me go.  


**Joined by Jude:  
It's your love  
It just does something to me  
It sends a shock right through me  
I can't get enough  
And if you wonder about the spell I'm under  
Oh it's your love.  
**

**Tommy:  
Better than I was  
More than I am  
And all of this happened  
By takin' your hand  
And who I am now  
Is who I wanted to be  
**

**Both:**

**And now that we're together  
I'm stronger than ever I'm happy and free.**

Oh it's a beautiful thing  
Don't think I can keep it all in  
And if you asked me why I changed  
All I gotta do is say your sweet name.

It's your love  
It just does something to me  
It sends a shock right through me  
I can't get enough  
And if you wonder about the spell I'm under  
Oh it's your love.  


**Jude:  
Oh, Baby  
Oh…**

Oh it's a beautiful thing  
Don't think I can keep it all in  
I just gotta let you know  
What it is that won't let me go.  


**Tommy:  
It's your love  
It just does something to me  
It sends a shock right through me  
**

**Both:**

**I can't get enough  
And if you wonder about the spell I'm under  
Oh it's your love.  
It's Your Love,  
It's Your Love.**

As Darius stopped recording Tommy pulled Jude into his arms and held her tightly as possible. They only had a few hours left together and quite frankly he was terrified. The door opened and Charlie came running in, wanting to be part of the hug. Jude laughed and hoisted him up in her arms, blinking frantically to get rid of the tears that were forming. "Hey bud, wanna go to the park?" Asked Tommy. Charlie nodded and clapped his hands. Jude put Charlie down again and they walked out of G Major, Charlie in the middle with Tommy and Jude on either side holding his hand. Sadie watched them leaving and turned to Darius.

"I envy them sometimes, it sounds terrible doesn't it?"

Darius shook his head and hugged Sadie. She'd been so strong the past few months and Darius was amazed at how she's managed. "It's not terrible, it's natural. They have something that millions of people would kill for. I know I would." He confided, looking down at the older Harrison sister wondering if she would understand.

Sadie smiled sadly. "So would I." She agreed, thinking of Kwest and wondering why they hadn't been lucky enough to have gone right rather than so wrong.


	60. Chapter 60: I'll Wait For You

"Night buddy." Whispered Tommy, stroking his son's hair for the last time as Charlie drifted of to sleep. Jude leant into Tommy and smiled, tears slowly sliding down her face. Tommy kissed Jude lightly and they watched Charlie sleeping for several minutes before heading outside to the landing. "Not long now." Tommy said, catching sight of the clock in the hallway. Jude nodded absentmindedly. "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing that her mind was far away from where they were.

"I want to do it." She said suddenly.

"Do what?" He asked, not understanding what she meant.

"Tommy," Jude pulled a face, wrapped her arms around his neck and indicated her bedroom with her head. "what do you think I mean?"

"Jude are you sure, I can wait. I'm more than willing to wait." He assured her, not wanting her to do something now that she'd regret later. Jude shook her head.

"You might be willing to wait but I'm not. Tommy I love you so much and I want to do this, I don't know when the next time I'll see you in the privacy of this house will be and I want to do this. I'm ready and I want to. It can be our final goodbye." She whispered sadly. Tommy cupped her face in his hands.

"Are you sure?" He checked.

"So sure." She assured him, hands dropping from behind his neck and taking his hand. "So very sure." She whispered leading him into her room and locking the door.

When they came downstairs at midnight Sadie was sitting on the sofa with Darius talking. "There you are guys, it's almost time." She said standing up and heading into the kitchen. She returned with a small book, which she handed to Tommy. "It's a scrapbook of you with this family. There's letters from Jude, song lyrics from her songs, photos and memories." She told him as he hugged her. Jude felt herself welling up beside him and excused herself. She snuck away to the kitchen so she could recollect her thoughts before saying goodbye to Tommy. Goodbye, it seemed so final.

"Hey, why are you out here?" Asked Sadie, disrupting Jude's thoughts. Jude turned to face her sister, tears flowing down her face. "Oh Jude!" Exclaimed Sadie pulling her sister into a hug.

"I just don't know if I can say goodbye again…I don't want him to go Sades." Jude sobbed. "I want him to be here with me and Charlie."

"We all do Jude, but this is Tommy's decision and it's better this way. You can still visit him." Sadie soothed.

"But it's not the same, and I won't be able to just ring him to hear his voice. I won't be able to go to G Major and watch him produce a song of mine. I'll miss him so much." She finished.

A nervous cough indicated that someone else was in the room. Jude looked over Sadie's shoulder to see Tommy standing in the doorway. "Sadie can we have a moment?" He asked, Sadie smiled and left them alone. "Jude, please don't cry." He beseeched of her softly, causing Jude to cry even harder. "Hey…hey Jude I know this is hard but please. I need you to be strong. Remember, I'm doing this for you. For us." Jude nodded and tried to wipe away her tears with the hem of one of Tommy's jumpers she was wearing. Tommy pulled her hand away from her face and she looked at him. "I love you Jude Harrison, you hear me?" He said sombrely. Jude sniffed and nodded. Tommy pulled her to him. "I love you and I am always with you as long as I am in your heart. Don't forget to check your shoebox if you ever miss me and can't see me." He told her. Jude nodded and allowed him to lead her back through to the living room.

A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. Sadie, Jude and Tommy all looked up but didn't move from the sofa. Darius opened the door and a nervous looking police officer entered the house. Tommy stood up, pulling Jude up beside him. "I'm here to escort a Thomas Quincy to the station." Informed the police officer, as if they needed to know. Tommy hugged Sadie and shook Darius' hand before turning to Jude. Wordlessly they fell into a hug and Jude started to cry again.

"I love you." She choked out through the tears. "I love you so much Tommy."

"I love you too." He whispered into her hair, feeling himself welling up. "I love you and I will miss you so much." He had so much more to say but had to stop as his voice broke and tears started to fall.

"I'll miss you too." She sobbed.

The policeman coughed awkwardly, keen to hurry things along. Tommy glared at him and reluctantly pulled away. For one last time he looked into Jude's eyes and kissed her lips for one last time before allowing himself to be led away by the police officer. Sadie went to hug Jude, who was crying hysterically. Jude shrugged her off and ran down the front path, after Tommy and the police officer. Tommy heard her footsteps and turned, just before he got into the car. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Jude ran the final distance and threw her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. "I'll wait for you." She promised reverently. "I will wait for you and I love you." She told him. Tommy wiped away a tear and kissed her deeply before turning and getting into the police car. Jude placed her hand up against the window, not bothering about her tears anymore. Tommy placed his hand up against the window, pressing it so it mirrored Jude's hands position on the pane of glass. They smiled at each other through the tears and mouthed 'I love you' at each other as the police car pulled away. Jude stood on the road side and watched the car drive away, the last thing she saw before it turned the corner was Tommy's face staring out of the back window, gazing back at her. And then, he was gone.


	61. Chapter 61: Author's note

Authors Note 

I'd like to thank you all for following this and for all your comments, I love getting comments because then I know if I'm doing it right or not ;)

In my head I've got everything all planned out, however this is the end of I'll Wait For You, at least under this title. I have a sequel planned for it and I'm mulling around a few ideas. I wanna get my other fics updated/finished first before I start on it though, especially as I've started my A Levels and have loads of exams and stuff coming up real soon so I don't wanna increase my workload. I'll possibly work on a few teasers or something for the sequel next week when I have half term so check in and you might find something one day…

So yeah, thanks for the reviews. I love you guys!  Now all you have to do is be patient while I work on stuff. Also if you have any ideas or something you want to happen then message me and let me know, you never know I might include it in there.

Mini plug: please read some of my other stuff, I'm working most on "not so innocent" which started out as a smutfic but took a more intense turn and smut got put to one side, but it really is intense and you'll see a different side to Tommy and Jude than you usually do in your average IS fic…at least I hope so.

Love Nasher91 xxx


End file.
